I'm a long time reader, first time poster. I am in desperate need of some advice.
I have been engaged for well over a year (we wanted a long engagement, as most of our family lives out of town/state/country, and we wanted to give them 18 months notice to plan for travel arrangements, time off work, etc).
Things have been going well with planning. We got our first choice on vendors, catering, photographer, basically everything we wanted since we booked so far (over a year) in advance!
In 2016, I got braces (for the second time. I had them once when I was a teenager and after my wisdom teeth grew in, it shifted my teeth (even though I religiously wore my retainer), so I wanted them back into better position). They were supposed to be off early 2018.
Towards the end of 2017, (around the time we were discussing marriage) I noticed that my teeth (while still in braces) were slanting to one side. I brought it up to my Orthodontist, and he said it's always been like that, which wasn't true. We compared my "before" pictures from the beginning of treatment that he took, and he agreed that it happened during his treatment, but said he was unable to fix it. I was furious. I paid $3500 for that treatment. I found another Orthodontist who said he could easily fix it, but he wanted my teeth to settle for a couple of months before we started. So I got my braces off in November.
Like I said before, marriage was already in discussion at that point, but we weren't officially engaged yet. In January 2018, I had braces with the new Orthodontist put on. All I wanted was to fix the slant in my teeth, but somehow, my new Orthodontist talked me into completely changing my bite in addition to fixing the slant. My dentist is not happy. I'm not happy. In fact, I am so angry with myself for agreeing to that.
When I first had the consultation with new (current) orthodontist, he said that the slant could be fixed in time for the wedding. I should have just stopped with that. He said that I had an overbite (which I already knew, but never had an issue with for my entire life, and my two previous orthdonitsts and dentist never wanted to change it (they said there's no need to change a bite if there's no issue with it)). He said it would imporove the overall health of my mouth and he strongly advised it. Idk why, but I agreed, even though it meant that I'd be wearing braces during my wedding. But I figured this was my third time getting braces, and I might as well make it worth it. I asked if he'd be able to take the brackets off for the wedding day, and he said no. He said that I could choose clear brackets and take the wire out for the wedding (+engagement and bridal photos), though. I then thought about the idea of waiting until after the wedding to do treatment, but the slant in my teeth (though they were perfectly aligned, and honestly not that bad now that I look back) bothered me enough to want to change it BEFORE the wedding. I also thought of post-poning the wedding until after treatment (another 2 years), but everyone (including myself) thought that was a stupid (and vain) reason. So I just decided to get clear brackets and the bite appliance all for $6000 (which that should have been money used towards the wedding). I am so angry with myself for this decision, especially now since it has basically RUINED my life.
Back in April of this year (with only 4 months until the wedding), I had an adjustment done by my Orthodontist. It completely messed up my jaw and teeth, causing severe TMJ Disorder, and has so far landed me in the Emergency Room TWICE due to the amount of pain. On top of it, he KILLED two of my front bottom teeth (which are now starting to turn grey). It has been a little over two months, and I have been in so much pain and still am! I've lost 15-20lbs so far, from not being able to eat (I'm on liquids only). I've seen so many doctors and specialists, and they've been unable to help, saying he caused irreversible damage. Everyone said to wait it out and that it *should* get better, but I'm going on month 3 now, and there has been no change.
My wedding is now less than 2 months away, and I don't want to go through with it if I'm going to be miserable and in pain like I am now. We're also going to Orlando for 10 days on our Honeymoon (it's pre-paid already), and how am I supposed to enjoy the theme parks and eating while I'm like this?
I don't know what to do. If we cancel the wedding, we forfeit THOUSANDS ($8K at least so far) of dollars worth of deposits and payments (the deadline to cancel has already passed). Even if I cancel, and I end up feeling better by August, I'll be so upset that I canceled.
We thought about post-poning, but a lot of dates are already booked for next year, and since we passed the cancelation deadline, it'll cost extra to reschedule the date. Plus, how do I know I'll feel better by the new date?
Our families have also booked their flights (and are non-refundable).
I am so upset with myself for making this decision to fix/change my teeth before the wedding. But I'm also so angry at my first orthodontist for messing up my smile to begin with (my braces should have been off before we were even engaged!!!), then I had to go to another Orthodontist to fix it, and he made it even WORSE! On top of it, since he was so concerned with correcting my bite, he hasn't even begun to work on the slant, so I'm still going to have slanted teeth (which look way worse than before), dead teeth, and tremendous jaw pain on my wedding day.
My dentist said that he can help fix the pain, or so he says (he's an orthodontist too), but it'll cost $8000 to try to correct what the current Orthodontist has done( $4000 up front). But he also said that the orthodontist caused irreversible damage (and that I'll probably need veneers to fix the dead/dying teeth). That's a big chunk of our remaining wedding budget.
What would you suggest? What would you do? What should *I* do? This has all turned into a NIGHTMARE!
Also --Our formal wedding invitations were supposed to be sent out in April (around the time this all happened). Everyone knows when and where the wedding is (so are they even necessary?). We keep putting off sending them out because we don't know if we should go through with it now due to my mouth.
