Let's talk about grooms involved in planning

I wish my fiancé gave AF. All he cares about is the food. That makes it harder to disagree with our parents about something because he won't back me up.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with this at all!

My future husband helped me pick out my wedding dress LOL. I went with the gown that he thought was the sexiest and most flattering. I pretty much run every wedding idea by him before deciding - I mean, down to my hairstyle. At the end of the day, I want my groom to look at me and melt inside when he sees me walking down the aisle! And I want him to think HIS wedding is just as dreamy as I want to think of mine being. There is NOTHING wrong with you having opinions and preferences about your wedding day and your bride. Ultimately, I have the final say with most things. But I appreciate my fiancé's involvement in the little things.

My FH will say things like "Babe, you'd look good with your hair in a beehive but I really love it in a ponytail." - I'm wearing it in a pony. I don't think this is weird at all! And I do this in and out of wedding planning.

You also don't get a say in her wedding day hair or whether she wears a veil or not. Everything else you absolutely should care about!

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I agree with Lady! I LOVE that you want a hand in all major decisions (and you should, it's your day too!), but her hairstyle and whether she wears a veil is her choice, because she is wearing it!

Now if she asked for your opinion on it and that's what you meant, you can certainly give you opinion on it, but you shouldn't be making that decision for her!

I took my FH dress shopping with me when I went the first time just to get an idea of what kind of things he liked. He's also gone with me to a bridal expo to meet a handful of our vendors.

I was in wedding planning for years as a venue coordinator, so I already knew who I wanted to work with right from the start. I'd worked with the best, and wanted the best, but the details of what those vendors do I'm making sure to get his input, and he's usually pretty excited to go over it with me.

It helps that we're both big nerds and really looking forward to the fun aspects of our wedding, and aren't as concerned about the little details.

As a venue coordinator, I always felt bad for the brides who's FS couldn't care less about the details of the wedding and wanted no real part in planning. It's a momentous occasion for both parties and should be treated as such.

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I know where you're coming from! My BIL wasn't helpful and my mom turned the planning process into a nightmare since he didn't have my sister fought alone vs both parents.

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I mean, I got a little of my FH's opinion on my hair, but that's because part of what makes me happy and feeling my best that day is knowing I'm doing things with my appearance that FH loves.

What I ultimately do is up to me, but up/down was something I wanted his thoughts on, because I want to be more than the usual for him that day.

So I get where OP is at with wanting a say on if she will/won't wear a veil and if she'll wear her hair up/down/whatever. The final say goes to the bride and what she wants, but I think he's justified in making his opinion known.

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You're right: however: she wanted me to give an opinion but never said that it will be met with a yes.

Don't worry: I won't be upset in the least if she's wearing a veil and/or doing an updo because she definitely is/will be the most beautiful woman in the world, Plus she has a say in my attire and accessories.

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I was just about to comment on this, too! I have the world of say in what my fiancé and his groomsmen are wearing, as well.

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Thanks!!

My bride wanted to bring me dress shopping but " I put my foot down" LOL.

"At the end of the day, I want my groom to look at me and melt inside when he sees me walking down the aisle! And I want him to think HIS wedding is just as dreamy as I want to think of mine being. There is NOTHING wrong with you having opinions and preferences about your wedding day and your bride. Ultimately, I have the final say with most things. But I appreciate my fiancé's involvement in the little things" The same about us: she has the final say with most things but I know she values my opinion and I appreciate it.

I love that my FH has been involved with the planning. I'm doing most of the leg work though and presenting him with ideas, but he's definetly come up with his own too. When we started the process we agreed that we would agree on everything together. So we'll present our vision or thoughts on a thing and if the other doesn't agree we go back to the drawing board and figure out something we both love. It's worked out really well. We're both in love with what we think our wedding day will be like.

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Sorry for the misunderstanding: She asked for my opinion but I don't want her to do these if she dislikes them. Only if she's torn or doesn't mind.

Of course she has the final say but I think she'll at least consider them l since she asked me.

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Couldn't agree more! I feel bad when the brides tell that their FH didn't/doesn't want to plan anything but catering,drinks,DJ/band and groomsmen/groomswomen outfits.

You don't sound like a groomzilla at all - you sound like a dude super excited about his big day and wanting to share in the excitement (and work) with his FW. I think its totally appropriate to put the foot down with family members who want to share unwelcome opinions.

In my relationship, I am the organized, logistical, keeper of details, and also the bride/wife, and the one with an eye for aesthetics, so wedding planning naturally fell to me. We planned our own wedding and we both had a say in everything but he took the lead on a few things - alcohol, DJ, groom's and groomsmen's looks - and I took charge of the rest. The planning process was awesome and my husband helped out just the right amount - until Covid. Having to constantly shift and pivot our plans has been exhausting, and I feel like all of that burden has fallen on me. He's not unwilling to help, he just doesn't know how to because his mind doesn't naturally go to how do we align all these details to make an event go smoothly and what tools can we use to accomplish this, but mine does. The only time I wish we had a wedding planner/coordinator was when Covid got thrown into the mix.

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Seems like this is pretty common from what I read on WW since we want you to love our outfits.

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Thank you, it's comforting.

I looooove the way you handled the planning as a team!

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No worries! I hope you have fun wedding planning!!

My fiancé (FH)definitely loves the planning process with me! Aside from the many stressful factors that Covid has brought we’ve had a blast planning! He even came with me when I tried on my dresses! His opinion is really the only opinion that I care about when it comes to my dress and he’s always honest with me and I just knew I was going to have a lot of fun if he was there.


My only suggestion would be if she gets upset with you and feels like you’re intruding in certain things like hair style, then I’d say that might be something you may want to take a few steps back on, lol but if she’s comfortable with it then plan your little heart out groom! And vice versa! If there’s a certain way you want to wear your hair she should respect that too! Its awesome that your psyched about your wedding as you should be!!!! CONGRATS GROOM! 🎉 🍾

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Great!

My Fw and I have similar tastes on big stuff so it works out well. She takes the lead but doesn't do anything behind my back and always present her ideas, I present mine but honestly: she generally has more ideas ! 😁

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Thank you. God I looooooooooooove it when brides say their groom loved the planning process or wanted to be involved!

"if she gets upset with you and feels like you’re intruding in certain things like hair style, then I’d say that might be something you may want to take a few steps back on"

NOPE because she asked for my opinion on it but I wanna be honest with you: I was afraid of her reaction LOL.

" If there’s a certain way you want to wear your hair she should respect that": my haircut is similar to this:

So we aren't arguing much on it LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.