Let's Talk Regrets

I totally agree and have the same regret. I got engaged in December 2017 and asked my bridesmaids in February 2018 for my wedding this June. I'm still happy with my decision overall but I feel like one or two of them I've only stayed in contact with because of the wedding. After the wedding, I feel the friendship will fizzle out as it's the only thing keeping us somewhat connected. I also regret having so long of an engagement - 18 months. While I'm glad it's on the longer side and we have had so much time to plan, if I could go back, I would've probably shortened it by a month or two but not a huge deal and June is our favorite month. I also would've pushed for a Saturday. I love our venue and it's totally worth having to have a Sunday but we originally didn't meet their guest list minimum for a Saturday. Over time, our guest list has grown (see next regret lol) and we could've pushed for a Saturday. I also wish we kept more between us right from the beginning of planning. I think it took us awhile to learn to keep things between us so it's caused family drama that could've been avoided.

I am so sorry you are stuck with a bridesmaid you do not like

I regret my venue and guest list most of all.

We had another venue booked but there was a conflict with the date so we got our deposit back and settled with a different venue. I despise our venue and really miss our dream venue.

Also when we started planning our guest list I thought my family was so important. I insisted on invited as many as possible. Because of being so busy with work and wedding planning we have missed a bunch of family parties (they get together every holiday) and it has been a good thing honestly. FH and I have talked in depth about moving an hour or more away after the wedding and how we will host immediate family for holidays but no longer attend my families big parties. I really wish we had come to this conclusion before STDs were sent out because we could cut our guest list down by 2/3 and money wouldn't be such a stressor for me...

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I can totally understand ALL of those regrets. I had to learn to keep things between us, as well, but for the most part there hasn't been any drama so no big worries.

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Ohhh, yeah...the guest list was a hard one for me too. That would have been nice to be able to cut your list down for budget reasons!

So far I don't really have any regrets. Maybe a person or two on the guest list, but I figure I won't notice them there for the most part. We're still friends, just not as close.

I regret not moving in with my FH sooner. We've been together almost 4 years and I'm just moving this weekend (about 45 days out). I live there half the week as is, but my current house is 2 miles from work, versus his is about 22 from where I work. Now, I'm stressed with planning a wedding, trying to get moved, trying to stay afloat at work, etc..

I'm going for my second alteration appointment this afternoon for my dress. I hope going makes me feel a little bridal and gets me excited, because I haven't felt it much at all lately. I like my dress, but I worry if there wasn't a better one for me. I stopped looking/trying them on once I found one that I liked.

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Mandy, don't stress about the extra commute. I also went from living about 4 miles from my job to currently living 40 miles away until we can move closer after the wedding and you make it work. It will take a week or two to adjust but just stick to a schedule!

I have a little bit of venue regret too, every now and then.

I love my venue with all my heart, and it is for sure my dream venue. But it is literally costing an arm and a leg (and also probably a few lungs and kidneys). We saw another venue that cost quite a bit less, and offered what appears to be more (didn't really take the time to look too far into it because my heart was set on the one we ended up with), but it wasn't really my style (felt dated and worn, and the place was a mess when we went to tour it).

Sometimes I think about all the money that could have been saved had we went with the other one. But I do know my wedding is going to be absolutely beautiful, and I do feel super blessed that I am fortunate enough to marry where we are.

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Well, as far as not having any regrets...that is good. Sorry you aren't feeling very bridal though. I can honestly relate. Not too much longer till your big day, so hopefully that bridal feeling will come soon!

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I'm really not worried about the commute (I used to commute 45 minutes one way). His house is smallish for a family of 3 (hopefully 4 sooner than later) and I have a house I've lived in for over 5 years on my own. I have so much stuff to move/sell/donate. It's a lot of work! We're wanting to move within 2-3 years, so I just have to suck it up and keep it in mind.

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It is crazy how expensive weddings are, and can definitely be hard to accept when you're spending so much money (that you wouldn't normally be spending).

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I'm hoping once my dress is done and I do the bridal shower and the bach party I'll feel more into it. Right now it's just stress because I feel I still have so much to do and so little time.. I have no weekends between now and the wedding either (all booked, ugh).. so.. it is what it is.. I'll still be happy at the end of every day.

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Oh yeah I totally get it - I hate moving. I've moved like four times within the past couple years and will be moving again this summer and it's just so much work. You'll get through it just try to stay organized and be open to the change!

Honestly, and I haven't told anyone I know this, and I won't, but I regret my dress choice. I tried a dress on when I went shopping that I just fell in LOVE with. It was THE one. But I couldn't fathom spending that much on a dress for a backyard wedding. I ended up finding a dress that was very similar (just different lace) by the same designer and it was $600 cheaper. It's a beautiful dress, but I still prefer the other one. It's too late to do anything about it now, but I kind of wish I had either shopped around more or found a way to pay for the more expensive dress.

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Congrats on your move this weekend! It'll be a busy but special weekend for you guys

I regret not doing a "true" destination wedding. Ours is still 5 hrs from us which has made planning heck and its not even at a gorgeous beach resort lol. But we didn't want to delay getting married, I have no vacation from work until October, and FH is still in school and uncertain about jobs. It will be fine though. We are planning a lot of trips for next year when life settles down (hopefully) lol

I have a little bit of dress regret. But the truth is, I don't like anything enough! I'm satisfied but I don't think I'm the type of girl to get teary eyed over clothing. My only other regret is letting my FH and mom over invite. I'm sure everything will turn out fine but it would be nice if I didn't have nagging what if thoughts lol.

I regret not having my close friends at my wedding. Unfortunately with FH there was no way to make it just close friends without families too ( he is close to fam and my friends are my fam more than my fam is) without breaking the budget and our sanity. So it will be just us two.

I regret not inviting more people. I listened to that whole don't invite people you haven't talked to in a year or two rule and I left some family friends and distant cousins off the guest list and after my wedding I ended up catching up with them at other events and I didn't realize how fun they are and how much I really liked them.

I am completely relating to this post. I will only have my MOH and two bridesmaids, one of them is just not involved, always rushed and I am here 7 months away from the big day and still waiting for her to have a “day” she can go together with us to look for a dress. I rushed too much into choosing that one person to be my bridesmaid. Im starting to regret it just because there is no interest or involvement whatsoever in my wedding so I totally get your point.

Great post. Until last night l barely had any regrets. Now l realize l ordered the wrong dress trying to pinch pennies and instead of my dream dress l have a dress l resent for not being the one l fell in love with. Sigh. I've search endlessly for my dream dress at a reasonable price and looks like l may not be able to get it at all now that the ceremony is only 4 months away and l have like no 💰. Smh!!!! The dress is the most important thing for me. 😡