Let's Talk Regrets

I wish I hadn’t told my FMIL all the things i’ve accomplished already. She wasn’t in the know that we were planning pre-engagement and whenever the topic of the wedding comes up and how much is done already, she just seems judgy. Idk why though, my FH has been a part of all of it except for my dress.
I also regret the amount I paid for my dress. It is gorgeous and it’s going to shock everyone (I got a ball gown when I explicitly told everyone that I dislike them greatly) but it was over my dress budget by about $300 and that’s not with alterations yet!
I also regret not having something special for my grandma. She’s been a very big part of my life and is helping out a lot with the wedding, but my FH doesn’t want me to do anything to single her out because then his grandma may feel some type of way- even though she’s not doing anything!
I also regret some family drama- my sister is a bridesmaid but refuses to come to the Bach party and isn’t being very supportive (she told me i’m Stupid for getting me dress because i’m Most likely going to get fatter between now and the wedding, thanks sis). I‘M also concerned for how my dad and uncle will be at the wedding- they were raised very bigoted and homophobic and most of our friends are somewhere on the queer/ lgbt spectrum.

My only regret, which isn't really a true regret, so far is that we won't be able to have our cats at the ceremony. We were hoping that if we found a venue close to where we live, we would be able to have FH's brothers have our cats at the wedding and then take them back home. Silly, I know, but I love my cats and people do it with their dogs, so why not cats! Our venue is my dream venue, so it's not really a regret, but it a half hour away one way from my apartment, so getting our cats there and back just isn't feasible.

We're doing an elopement ceremony but were going to have about 20 guests or so. I regret my fiance and I ever asking our entire bridal party so early ONLY because after going back and forth and finally ending up with (what we believe is) the perfect spot, turns out it's 10 guests max. We really want this venue so we had to go back to our wedding party and let them know that we would unfortunately no longer be having a bridal party.

The ceremony will only be with our immediate family. My side understands, thankfully but I'm not even sure if my fiance actually talked to his side about it yet. We did still invite them to come celebrate with us afterward if they so choose and they seem pretty excited about it. It's in Hawaii. Other than that, I'm pretty happy with everything else that we've got planned.

I regret the bridesmaids and the guest list a little. I have moments when I regret my dress as well. It has a plunging neckline and my Future Stepmother in law made me cry about it.

I regret a few people on the guest list sorta, and I regret letting parents feel like they get a vote on everything.

I think I regret my dress. I haven't really talked to anyone about it and I'm trying to suck it up and move on because there's nothing I can do about it at this point. I should have 1--tried on more silhouettes. I only tried on ball gowns because I was convinced that was all that would look good on me at my weight, I only tried on 4 dresses total, and bought dress 1. 2--not shopped so early in the process...or waited longer to order at least My dress was "accidentally" ordered a size too big at the same time I was still losing weight (about 2 sizes). It ended up being altered from a 20 to about a 14. My seamstress was amazing and made it happen, I just don't feel like it flatters my body nearly as well as it did when I was bigger. I just keep telling myself with a veil and my hair and makeup done I'm going to feel fabulous no matter what. I certainly don't hate my dress....just don't love it anymore.

View Quoted Comment I have a lingerie commute and I listen to audio books and podcasts and the time goes quickly

View Quoted Comment Long* lol autocorrect has something on the mind I guess

I'm so sorry 😭 I asked my bridesmaids almost immediately but knew I wanted them for years so it was easier.

My biggest regret so far is not getting engagement pictures. We literally got engaged during pictures we were having taken for a Christmas picture. The girl did an ok job but just not what I envisioned engagement pictures to be.

Talking about my wedding plans with anyone besides my FH and WW. REGRET!

Now you can bring someone you really want to be there. That's a good thing...no one their needs to know you didn't want the person who isn't showing up anyways to be there, ha!

I don’t know if this really counts as a regret because I don’t really have a choice over it, but I live in TN and my family lives in PA, and the hardest part of wedding planning for me has been that I can’t do all the bachelorette parties and bridal showers and fun things with my family ahead of time. 😕 My sister is my MoH but it’s really just an honorary title (which is fine) because we can’t plan anything together anyways because she lives so far away. I won’t see any of them until the wedding. But at least they’ll all be there for the big day!! 💕

View Quoted Comment Thanks for writing this! I’m in similar situation with a longer engagement (20months) and I am excited to ask the two girls I’ve known for 15+ years but still weary of asking newer friends. I guess it’s best to wait till 12 months out

Aw man, that sucks!!! I hope things get better with her
Mine and my FH's only regret so far is telling his mother (my FMIL) any detail about our wedding. My FH told his mom (because she was asking) that he was not going to have his 2 older half brothers as groomsmen. They are in their early 40s married with children. He told her not to say anything because he has a polite way he wanted to tell them without hurting their feelings. Well what does she do? She fricken TELLS THEM! My FH was PISSED. It was not her place to tell them. She said, I don't tell lies and keep secrets from my family.... WHAT?! OMG BIOTCH! Yeah... this is only one of many petty issues we have faced. She is a nightmare! My FH even told his mom that he will NOT be telling her anything else about our wedding. I'm so happy I am not marrying a pushover! hahaha

I regret asking my bridesmaids so quickly.. a couple months afterwards, three BMs had a falling out and the one who “fell out” of their friendship actually stepped down from the role and will just be a guest. It didn’t hurt our relationship (I’m happy she did it, I was going to ask her to) but I have already bought monogrammed stuff for her so I’ll just give it to her, but I could have saved the money.

I regret not trying on more dresses.. I bought my dress from the first shop I went to and I wish I just shopped around more. I love my dress but I feel like maybe I could’ve found something a bit better.

I regret one couple on our guest list.. we were friends with them but after the aforementioned “falling out”, they stopped talking to us. Legit avoiding us. We sent them an STD but aren’t even bothering sending them an invitation. They never even gave us their new address of which we asked for several times. I’m giving their invite to new friends.

I also regret buying decor immediately after getting engaged. I spent $250 on vase sets for floating candles before I even knew exactly how many centerpieces we’d need!! I will use them for sure, I just wish I didn’t jump the gun.

Nothing crazy! I think just normal things that I wouldn’t dare repeat to anyone other than my FH lol

I think my big regret is something that I didn't do but that my FH did. We set our date and venue before I had my ring because we knew we wanted to get married this summer but didn't want to miss the venue. I had previously asked him to talk with his friends/family to see if there were any no-go dates that we couldn't do. Now mind you, they all knew that we were getting married so it wouldn't have been a shocker. He didn't... and now his 6 best friends can't be there. I mean best friends. They all grew up together and are in a different wedding. We went about our engagement non-traditionally which turned a lot of people off which is why he didn't want to ask, but it shot us kind of in the butt. Makes me sad for him. And to field questions: there was no way we could change the date. I work shift work and would have been on midnights, other weekends my parents or his had vacations etc.

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Me either. My bachelorette is the thursday of the wedding and won't have a bridal shower unless I travel from AK to OR.

My regrets have to be having this wedding period. I really don't want a wedding my fiancée wants it because of his mom Instead a small wedding has become a big wedding It cost so much more than I wanted it to. I wish I just kept my original plan at a small wedding chapel with a few family members. Can't change my mind due to the fact I don't want to loss money most vendors will not refund me my money.

View Quoted Comment That’s a great idea to have your bachelorette the Thursday before the wedding. Is your wedding on a Saturday?

I regret inviting my niece to be my "bubbles girl". Her mom is a very negative person and in the early stages of wedding planning, she used to come to my house a lot. So every time I mentioned something wedding related she was around and I mentioned about having her kid at the wedding. My brother and she don't live together anymore and I got stuck with my niece being part of the wedding.

Her mom is evil, every time we go out with my niece and pick her up she takes hours putting her clothes and doing her hair in purpose, no matter how far in advance we tell her. I got my niece a dress and a bubbles gun for the wedding, but it wouldn't surprise me if she doesn't show up or if she arrives late.

I honestly regret sending out Save The Dates as early as I did, and that was the ONE thing I was pushing for, since all of a sudden, others in my family (like more than one couple) were also pushing to get married around the same time as me, and I mean, I even had people saying that I should have a *double wedding* with another family member?! Nope, had to set that straight.

I was so trigger-happy at sending them out, though. Honestly, I wish I'd done a completely different guest list, and there's no way to un-bake that cake!