Life long best friend didn't come to wedding.

It seems like he was in love with you and couldn't handle watching you marry someone else, and was to shy and or embarrassed to tell you that.

It sounds like you already have your suspicions about him being in love with you. What prompted you to bring this up after a year? Are you in love with him?

Yep. Feelings for you. Couldnt bring himself to go.

I think there is underlying feelings. Maybe on both sides. If not I would let it go and move on. Best of luck

This is something none of us can answer because we aren’t him.

There’s a non-zero chance he is in love with you. In the same vein, it could also be literally anything else. He could be embarrassed because of a MH issue, a financial situation, or issue with someone at your wedding.

If it’s really important to you that you know sit down And have a serious conversation with him.

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Nah, I love my hubby I just genuinely want to keep out friendship positive as I have lost a lot of friends in the last couple years so I really cherish the friendships that I have. Plus on such a happy nerve wracking day it would have been nice to have a shot with someone to calm the nerves.

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That's the plan on this point. I'm calling the "argument" we got into done and not holding a grudge. I have enough things going in life that it's not worth the trouble or racket.

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I actually feel even stupid thinking he could be into me honestly. It seems very outlandish. But who knows. I actually did ask him if he has a problem with my hubby and he only said that as long as I am happy he would like whoever I was married to. Not sure how to take that but I am going to run with that being a compliment!

No one can answer this question for you except for your friend who gave you an answer that you refuse to believe. I think that PPs are jumping to major assumptions by saying that he’s in love with you. No one would assume that if this was a female friend. He said he couldn’t afford it. Unless, for some odd reason, you know his finances in depth, I would assume that he’s being honest and couldn’t afford it. It’s been a year. Either forgive him and move on or end the friendship.

Sometimes things happen and we can't be everywhere we want to be. He did give you a reason (which he absolutely did not have to do) - you just don't LIKE the reason. At this point you need to let it go or let him go.

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This exactly. Don't mean to come off rude or mean but theres no way for anyone to assume one way or another nor should anyone try. I would take he couldn't afford it and move on. He may have all these great benefits and what not but ultimately you have no idea what someone is dealing with unless you are them. I make more than enough money to live a nice life but travel is hard, time off, travel expenses everything.

View Quoted Comment I would agree with this. He gave you a reason. Whether you believe him or not is up to you, but since no one on these forums knows either of you, I don’t know why you think we’d give a better answer than he did.

Not everyone particularly enjoys weddings. You may enjoy each other's company as friends, informally. But at a wedding, most people spend under ten minutes with the bride, and 5-8 hours with a whole lot of other people. He is nice enough to not want to be critical in any way of your wedding. But he likely was saying, he could not justify all that time and money spent to come to your wedding ... Considering he expected to barely see you, and would not enjoy the socializing, or have the company of a date. Lots of people mostly go to weddings out of obligation. The same who only party or talk with very close friends, and shut down at large gatherings with limited people they know. You make him sound low on so oal skills. And why spend money to come have a bad time? You need to separate things in your head. Avoiding the party you call your wedding does not mean he does not consider you a friend. Only that the wedding , any wedding, is the opposite of what he considers a good time, and not worth spending money on . The wedding is important to you. But some other people who love or like you very much, may not want to come. You could drop me on an island of elephant seals and sea birds, and I would find a way to have a good time. But one of my sister's, and several people I know would rather have a tooth pulled with pliers than attend any wedding. Or NYE party. It Halloween. Or their own graduation party. . . Read your own first letter. You are describing someone bordering on what is usually called painfully shy, or lacking in social skills. Don't ask why he did not come. It likely has nothing to do with you. Just the social setting.

Girl he is in love with you. He couldn't watch you marry another man.

If it’s an significance to any of you who so kindly responded. I ended up have a long conversation with him and was honest about everything and “gently” pushed him into being honest as well. He said he had too much going on and he was afraid that he wouldn’t be discharged from the military if he left and got into trouble for it. He mentioned that he knew he was a bad friend for it and deserves better then him. He also mentioned that he thought that maybe I had “2 roads” in life to go and I chose my husband and that he thinks I made the decision that will have me the happiest life possible. All he wants is for me to be happy. Couldn’t be more selfless of an individual. I’m lucky to call him my friend.

What was the other road besides your husband? That's an interesting thing to say. However, let him off the hook because there are a lot of things that could have made it feel like it was too difficult to pull off.

Sorry no one can answer that but if your friendship is important and you have expressed your feelings to him and he has apologized on multiple occasions I think you need to let it go and begin your healing process continue to be his friend. You cant hold it against him forever.