Limited Alcohol Receptions / Dry weddings (UPDATED)

' If people don't know how to have fun without drinking and dancing at a wedding, then they don't know how to have fun at all.'

Well what else is there you can offer? Talking? Done plenty of that during the meals service. That stupid shoe game? Please... If you're not offering alcohol or dancing there really is not much else for your guests to keep themselves entertained.

I understand why everyone was upset about the judgements OP made.

But why judge the dry wedding if it's for a cultural or religious reason?

Queserasera, because having a cash bar "for religious reasons" is a sham excuse usually offered by someone trying to save money. People don't take kindly to that.

Mods: not specifically referring to the OP.

Maybe if the alcohol is available but not broadcast the non drinkers won't be so upset? I totally get what your saying and think this is a different situation than most regarding the bar for these reasons. It's nice to have some beer or wine on hand for your guests who do drink, and if anyone will be offended that it's offered, maybe you can just tell them the beverage service was all included and cost the same anyway (whether or not that's the case). It doesn't sound like the 5 or so guests who drink are going to be throwing up/getting offensively drunk, so I doubt anyone will really even notice, and if they do, I think it's super rude to tell a host that they did something you didn't agree with. If they do say something, just explain that you wanted to accommodate all your guests.

I think a consumption based bar is definitely the way to go here, you won't be paying for alcohol that wasn't drank, and you'll still be taking care of your guests. I think just beer and wine is totally fine, and if people are paying more attention to the small group of people drinking then your celebration, that's a them problem, not a you problem. Props to you for considering your guests and wanting to ensure everyone has a good time!!

ETA: spelling

@Natalie - I never mentioned there would not be dancing. I think that must have been an assumption you made. There will DEFINITELY be a rockin' dance floor, an emcee/dj, video, speeches, first dance, all that jazz! But yeah, maybe we can do a photo booth or little activity stations or something.

Post updated!

Natalie - So if you were invited to say, a super conservative Christian wedding without alcohol or dancing, you wouldn't even go?

Jacks - I wasn't talking about the cash bar.

@queserasera, I believe this falls under the forcing beliefs on others reasoning.

If OP's guest list was 150% of the same religion and/or culture, then yes, a dry wedding would be acceptable. However, it needs to be every last person.

If there are guests that do not have the same beliefs, you should accommodate them.

I would not make someone drink at my wedding if they did not drink.

Likewise, I would not make a vegan eat any meat or animal by-products.

Being a good host means making accommodations.

Also, OP also singles out cost as a factor. If the guests who drink are in the minority, then a consumption bar would be a wise move, because it wouldn't be as costly as a fully open bar.

Right ^ and she said she liked the idea of a consumption bar, but it seemed like people didn't read that comment and just kept going.

If consumption is an option do that. If it's only 5-6 people. AWESOME for you. Don't overthink it.

No one has STILL been able to explain to me why drinking is unChristian.

Human rules. Not God rules.

Please consider this thread closed?! Well, fuck, I'm glad I read that! When do you think it'll open up again?

I'll be over here drinking....and thinking about how pissed I'd be if I had to go to a dry wedding.

@queserasera about what you said to Natalie. I would go to a "super conservative Christian wedding without alcohol and dancing". I have before. But the ceremony started at 7pm, reception started at 730pm and literally everyone but the bridal party and the bride and groom were gone by 9. Most people left right after eating. (I know this because I was a bridesmaid). You just don't get the same party vibe and you don't get people who want to stay until midnight.

Celia -

I've been to plenty of Christian weddings, some with alcohol and some without.

It's the couple's preference. The one I went to without alc or dancing was because their officiant required zero alcohol & dancing and even had bride wear a dress with straps.

They also did their cultural wedding ceremony AFTER the meal at the reception, so this wedding was a certain way for cultural AND religious reasons. This took place of typical dancing time. Everyone had a good time despite lack of drinking & dancing.

I guess times have changed.

Lol ReneeEdward if only there were "under construction" signs or something. "Thread detour this way!"

'So if you were invited to say, a super conservative Christian wedding without alcohol or dancing, you wouldn't even go?'

Probably. But there is no way I'd have nearly as fun (or maybe any fun) at a weddding like that than I would at a wedding with dancing and an open bar. I think most people would agree with this.

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@ReneeEdward; There are also plenty of fun weddings without alcohol, particularly in certain religions. Just different strokes for different folks. Personally, I've had some great dance parties where the dance floor was filled until midnight yet there was no alcohol. Obviously, that's not true for everyone, but it is possible (although maybe not easy).

@Queseraseara

"So if you were invited to say, a super conservative Christian wedding without alcohol or dancing, you wouldn't even go?"

Personally, I would not attend such a wedding. Conservative Christian and me??? NO way! :-)

@Natalie - Okay, no need to make fun other people's religions now.