Limiting guest

When you’re doing the rsvp card and invite just make sure to literally write the names of people invited and the number of seats reserved like “to mr and mrs Smith We have reserved 2 seats for you” or whatever like that

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I thought about that, but was worried if i do X amount of seats, they'll exclude who was on the invite in favor of someone they'd rather have. Yes, my family is that crazy!

On our reply card we put x number of seats have been reserved.

We made it clear on the invites that went out that they were only for the people on the label. We have family that will do that too. We also made it an adults only event because there are kids that would have come from in laws side of family that we didn’t want there.
We were going to do the whole we reserved x seats for you but we thought if something happened and only one of the people would be able to come it would make it too complicated.

We went back and forth about this because we have the same issue.

On our invitations, the label states who is invited (family, mr & mrs, etc).

Our RSVPs state how many seats we have reserved for them and that's basically how they will RSVP. We have reserved 4 seats in your honor. _____ will be attending. and then names.

View Quoted Comment I was thinking no kids, but we have kids of our own and our friends have kids, so we don’t mind that. I’m having the same dilemma with the x amount of seats. If someone can’t make it, they just sub someone else in and I don’t want that!

List the names of invited folks on the envelopes. Be firm when people say they're bringing more (which not everyone will do).

Okay, as a two time bride who went through this both times (ugh) I suggest an online RSVP. Guests can only check if they are coming or not, they can't add extra people. People will still try and this is where you and your other need to be firm: "I am sorry for the misunderstanding, the invite is for you and Aunt Sarah only." If/when you get pushback and people will threaten not to come (and they will) you say "I am sorry you feel that way. See you at Easter!" Do not mention money as people will try to offer to pay for their extra's meals. I had a cousin do that to me, she came at me three times to include her grown son and DIL. I was like, nope. We can seat fifty, not fifty two. They got over it. Another tip: Your wedding is not for two years, limit your talking about it. People assume they are invited when they hear wedding talk.

View Quoted Comment We’ve not even announced yet! So there’s no wedding talk outside of us and my mom. But good point.

I have the same issue with my family. I solved this in three ways: 1, addressed the envelope to whom was invited (instead of "The Smith Family," I put "Mr and Mrs. John Smith, Jane and Timmy"), 2, on the front of the RSVP card, I put "We have reserved __ seats in your honor," and then on the back in the name field, I wrote in the names of who was invited (e.g., John Smith, Mary Smith, Jane Smith, Timmy Smith). And just in case someone decides to cross off or add names, each RSVP card has a tiny number in the corner that corresponds to a spreadsheet. It was 2 days of extra work on my end, but it should be abundantly clear who is invited and save some headache down the line.

View Quoted Comment I’m sure it was worth it. Thank you!

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I would also recommend if you do paper RSVP's to number the RSVP cards and keep the numbers as a reference. You will be surprised at who does not put their names on it! Just a tiny number in the corner will save a lot of headache.

I would second online RSVPs! You can only check the box of the people invited, and there is no way to add another person not on your list depending on the settings enabled.

Another way to do this is if you're having a plated dinner with meal selections, each person has to indicate their meal choice.

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Good idea!

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Yes, we will be having plated so that will definitely limit it!

View Quoted Comment Two days of extra work to save weeks/months of headache is totally worth it.

We made people rsvp online, and we input the names of who was attending (also on their invitations). If someone tried to enter a different name the website wouldn't allow them to add that person. If they then called us to ask us about adding a name, we explained to them that we only had so much space and could only invite a certain number of people. There were a few people who were rather insulted they couldn't invite other people to our wedding, but most were understanding.

View Quoted Comment They may just have to be what we do! Did most everyone RSVP online, just worried for our older guest that won’t.

If you are custom designing your invites, ask if you can have invited guests' names printed directly onto the reply cards to eliminate confusion.

View Quoted Comment Great idea! Thank you!