Lingerie Shower and Bachelorette Party

You don’t. If they aren’t invited to the party they don’t need to give gifts. (No one ever*needs* to give a gift) if they aren’t important enough to be there why ask for the gift? It’s rude and gift grabby.
Either do it on separate weekends or combine the two and have the smaller guest list.

I don't think it's possible to do this without it seeming rude to the friends who aren't really invited to the shower. It conveys the message that "you're special enough to buy the bride a shower gift, just not special enough to actually be invited to the real shower." I think this is the consequence of choosing to have a destination shower/bachelorette party the same weekend. Just keep the shower list specific to the girls who will be there that weekend.

I've never heard of these being two different things. If gifts like lingerie were even given, it has always been by bachelorette party guests at the party.

Can you just have them different weekends? Or the shower Friday evening then the weekend starting Saturday morning? I don't think people should be "invited" unless they are actually invited.

Why not just combine the bachelorette and lingerie shower? They don't need to be 2 separate things. My MOH planned for everyone invited to the bachelorette to bring a lingerie gift and we played a game where I had to guess who bought each one. I don't think anyone not invited to the bachelorette should contribute a lingerie gift.