Little sister got engaged

I was a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding a few months before my own wedding. That experience was very helpful in planning my own.


Your sister's FH's determination to get married before you is weird, but you don't know the full context of it. It's also not a big deal either way

I agree with DJ Tanner and Eri! The whole "we're gonna get married before you" is so bizarre and gives this topic / this post a whole different vibe! I wish you the best of luck in your planning! I think you're quite smart to wait until 2022.

I took most of a year the first time round, and ended up eloping because just as we got close his mom wanted changes, and we were not going to plan any longer. This marriage, we had a five month engagement to wedding, had everything we wanted for our 15K budget we could pay ourselves. 170 guests, designer gown, planned in 4.5 months. A lot who never show up on boards, do under 7 months. More interested in getting married than pinterest photos and pro makeup. Most of the brides I know spend more time on things no one would have bothered with 15-20 years ago, than on necessary planning. If your sister and her FI want to get to their wedding sooner than you, wish them happiness. Awho cares who marries first or last. It is not a contest. You will be happier if you clear that silliness from your mind. Don't put energy into something that does not matter. You want to plan in your time, without anyone hassling or taking issue with what you want. Show them the same courtesy of not saying anything negative about their choice, just because it is different than yours. Each of you plan on your own schedule, and leave the other to do her thing. Your engagement was likely longer than the time we met til our wedding day, 15 months. 14 years later, we are happy, no rough patches yet. That is what matters. Sister wants short and sweet, fine.

There’s plenty of time between your two events. However, I wouldn’t share any or your details or colors with her if it would upset you to see your ideas in her wedding.

View Quoted Comment Love this! Makes total sense

Instead of viewing this as your sister potentially wanting to one up you, you could look at it as a beautiful thing you’ll both be married to people whom you love and love you. On either side, If there’s no sabotaging going on, no outward negativity displayed or mean commentes made then there’s no issue here.

We planned our wedding in less than a year and we aren't crazy...

Anyway, I don't really see the issue. Being that your weddings will be in different years, by the time yours comes around, everyone will have forgotten about hers. Don't let this bother you and just enjoy the planning process.

I think that’s fine. I chose to plan my wedding in less than a year. And then my sister took over a year to even decide what type of wedding she wanted, and I ended up planning part of her elopement in a month.

I don’t get why people need to make it into a competition. You are both getting married. This should be exciting for both of you and if I had a sister I’d be so stoked for her. So what if she wants to get married now (in less than a year). Help her instead of knocking her down. What’s next racing to get pregnant between the two of you? Come on, This is a bad outlook. Everyone has their own time frames, you and your future hubby planned for ‘22. You can’t be mad at others for having a different schedule in life than you. Accept and support each other like sisters. This should be bringing you closer not apart. Best of luck.

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I wholeheartedly agree. My sister had her wedding planned a year or two before me. They got married in 2018. But she had a deposit on a venue before I even got engaged. I got engaged in May and had my wedding in October.

My sister was sort of upset. Like, why couldn't I wait until after her wedding? Because if we had, we'd have waited till, 2019 to get married. Her timeline was not mine. And you need to understand when someone else makes a decision to get married, it has nothing to do with you. We dated for 5 years before getting married. Everyone had fun at my wedding. And everyone had fun at my sister's wedding!

And we wanted our wedding in October at the Delaware beaches because the weather is still usually nice in October. Otherwise it would've been April, and the weather in April has a tendency to be colder and rainer. We lucked out because it was 70 degrees and sunny. It was a beautiful day. Not too cold, not too windy, not too rainy. It was a perfect day.

What a cluster that would've been. We got married in 2017, and after 2017, our life changed. We moved to a new state in February with no friends and family nearby, then a year later we bought a house! It would've been much harder to have a wedding living where we are now and if we were not married yet in 2018.

By my wedding by comparison was a much more relaxed affair and had fewer people and was on the beach.

People act like it's unreasonable to plan a wedding in that amount of time, and that depends on the type of wedding you plan to have. Ours was a semi-casual beach wedding, honestly, we had almost everything scheduled in 4 months. Honestly, I thought planning a wedding more than a year out was a very long-drawn out affair and was unnecessary for the type of wedding I had.

You need to realize your wedding is on your timeline, but not everyone else's timeline is yours. I had a great time at my sister's wedding and she had the wedding she always dreamed of. And I had the one I had always dreamed of.

It all worked out. You're still going to have the wedding of your dreams and hopefully, your sister will too, but she may not and be disappointed if she has her wedding in the throws of COVID.

Congratulations to both you and your sister!

My sister got over it and we are still close as ever. I was so happy at my sister's wedding because I got to see her marry the love of her life.

I think before I got married I would have felt this way too, but now that I am married I wish I had a wedding before mine as a “test run”. You can see what goes well at hers and what doesn’t go well, what poses for photos you want, etc. My cousin was supposed to get married before me but because of Covid she was after me and I WISH I had hers first. She had so many cute photos that my husband and I didn’t get and I’m sure I would’ve used hers for inspiration. And that is just one category. I understand your initial being upset but I definitely think it’s a beneficial thing. Think of hers as your warm up lol!

View Quoted Comment I was a little upset about it at first because of her fiancé’s comments about it. I am extremely happy for her and definitely am glad that she is getting f married before me. She booked the sister venue to my venue so I can see how they operate before my wedding comes. Same thing with the florist. Definitely am looking forward to it and getting more ideas for mine for sure !

I know exactly how you feel, I would probably feel the same way; not to say this in a bad way, but she may have to push; or not have her dream wedding because she is having it so soon.


You can vent, because I wood be calling all my friends venting, but just take notes, help her when you can, and PLAN your dream wedding. 😊😊

View Quoted Comment Do the venues resemble each other? Because you are having some of the same guest, I would hate for things to look or be the same.

View Quoted Comment They are copies of each other. I booked mine first and she booked hers at the sister venue. Which I don’t mind at all since now I can see how they operate for weddings before having mine !

View Quoted Comment Yes, that’s true. I think it’s all positive, I know how it can be, because when your getting married you want all the attention on you.


Just try and add things that’s will be a nice surprise to your guest on your wedding day.
Lastly, If the venue do a horrible job are you able to get your money back?

View Quoted Comment Perfectly said! ❤️

View Quoted Comment Sadly no I wouldn’t be able too if they do a horrible job. My older cousin had her wedding at the same venue I am having mine years ago and I loved it so much. I knew from that moment I wanted this venue. I think they will do a great job and can change things that I don’t like at least.

View Quoted Comment Well there you go! I think it’ll be great!


Just take a ton of notes and the good thing is you can piggy back off of a lot of her vendors, and see where you can cut costs.
My best friend for married about a year before me, and it was great because she told me all the in’s and outs, and how I can save money. And she gave me all her good vendors.

View Quoted Comment Funny thing is I booked all my vendors already and she is now looking at my vendors telling them I recommend them for her. So if she books with them maybe they will give me a discount. Yes I was a little upset about it at first but now I get to help her plan her wedding and she can help me plan mine too. It’s a great experience