Living together before marriage?

I'm Christian and I've lived with fh for four years. I'm in nursing school and he helps support me. I cant afford to live on my own and my single mother can't support me. There is nothing in the bible about living together all it says is sex. So if your waiting til marrige you can still wait that doesnt have to change. If it makes you feel more comfortable you could always sleep on an air mattress in a separate room.

That sucks. From what you’ve written here, your mom sounds super judgmental, and she probably will have a negative reaction at first. And, maybe your sister will be weird about it too for a little bit. But, you are a grown woman, and you get to make your own choices. While your mom may not agree with your choice, I would hope that she can respect you.

My fiancé and I lived together for 3 years before we got engaged. It really helped us to know how we lived and functioned together on an everyday basis. I actually think that it’s better for couples to live together before getting engaged or married, but I understand that might not work for everyone.

I'm Christian and FH and I have lived together for 2.5 years. Due to his job, he moves a lot and I was not interested in doing long distance, so we made the decision to move in together. The only person who made a funk about it was his mom who said "it's a sin". But yet she had him and his 2 siblings out of wedlock and lived with their dad for 20 yrs before they got married. I say all this to say, at the end of the day it is you and FH's decision on what is best for you, your living situation, and marriage. When you get to heaven only you will be answering for your time on earth, not your mom or sister. At least this is how i look at it.

Both FH and I are catholic and we are living together. We wanted to live together before getting married just to make sure we didn't have any real red flags that appear once co-habitating. Our parents weren't happy with it at first, but they didn't judge us for it.

At the end of the day, it is you and your FH's decision. If your parents aren't supporting your living situation financially then they have no real bearing on this decision. And also, it you and FH's relationship with God. If YOU don't see issues with moving in then that's all that matters.

Personally I don't think it logistically makes sense for you to move with your sister for 1.5 months to turn around and move again. But again your choice.

Do what makes the most sense to you and makes you happy. Regardless of your choice, someone out there will be judgemental and think you made the wrong choice. If the sex is the actual sinful and concerning part, then just don't have it and stick to the plan of sex after marraige, that simple. And it really doesn't concern others what you decide to do, it's your life not theirs, if they can't support your decision then it's their problem not yours. Do what makes you happy first, worry about negative nancies way later on.

I agree with Melodies, moving in pre marraige can actually help the relationship as you adjust to life together in closer quarters and get to see the little quarks and habbits of your partner in their home. It will also be one less major stressor you have to handle after the wedding while adjusting to the new name (if you're changing), going through the same change process and everything else that happens post wedding. I lived with my husband for 2 years before marraige and when we got home from the wedding venue it was just like coming home from a normal outing, except that I was a wife now and had an additional, prettier ring on my hand. There was no "what do we do now and how do we live together?" because we already were, life just went on and that was really nice.

My parents were against my FH moving in with me about a year ago. We knew where our relationship was heading, seemed to be the smarter way financially for him to move in. Plus I started feeling so much safer in our home once he moved in. Our priest has talked against it to. But most of the studies done where on younger people jumping into relationships, not knowing what they really needed. Now my parents adore him, he's respectful. What's funny is his parents were just happy that he found me and I make him happy. We're all Catholic too!

I'm excited that y'alls union will be blessed in a month, as ours will be blessed in two

You need to do what is best for you. It doesnt make sense to move in with your sister for a month, then move out. Especially since you have no way to get to work and stuff. If your mom wants to judge, let her judge. Most couple live together before marriage now. It honestly helps with red flags. For me personally, it was a must for anyone I would even consider marrying. It's totally different when you share expenses, living space, and responsibilities to the house. If I were you, I'd be moving in with FH. Good luck!

If you don’t want to move out of the city and don’t want to deal with this conflict now: is it not possible to add a month or two onto your current lease? Most apartments will let you do that, you just may need to pay a bit higher rental price.

We’ve lived together for two years. After my past (and current) experiences and stories I’ve heard from friends, I would never marry someone without living with them first. My parents were against it when I was younger but now they think it’s a good idea for me and my siblings. They’ve also been divorced multiple times and maybe that could have been avoided if they realized they were wrong for each other before they made it legal. Or maybe not, but it would have certainly helped. I think God would prefer me to do what is right in my life for a happy and healthy life and marriage rather than put myself in a bad situation, get a divorce in two years, raise children in a broken home, stay unhappily married for years for no reason, or be tempted to cheat bc were so miserable. Im not judging anyone who has been through these things bc you can’t predict the future and you never know where life will take you, and I have certainly been through situations and things I regret. but I don’t want to set myself and my marriage up for that from the beginning. I think God would want me to have peace and joy rather than fear and misery. And religion aside, moving in with someone is so hard even if you’re married first, I really think it’s important to work these things out before you say I do.

View Quoted Comment The problem with that is that I live in a college city with roommates so they are just adding an extra person to replace me right after I move out. Even if I was able to do that I would have to move out by the end of June and my wedding is 1st week of July so I wouldn’t want to stress out about moving right before the wedding and if I move out a few weeks earlier I defeats the purpose of staying another month.

Wow!! I grew up as a Christian and as soon as I turned 14 I stopped doing all the religious stuff.. I do believe, I just don’t believe in a lot things that seem to have no purpose... I can only imagine what it would be like to have parents like that.. my mom didn’t want me to move in with my FH either.. this was 11yrs ago.. I was 19 and him 20... but I still did it because it’s my life, but hers. She didn’t talk to me for about a month.. if you really care about what your mom would react (which it seems like you do), I’d say go with your sister... or does your apt give you a month to month option?? Most apartments do after your lease is up.. if not, maybe talk to your mom and explain the situation and how inconvenient it would be, and if she’s concern about you having sex before marriage then talk to her about that too..good luck!

View Quoted Comment This is exactly how I felt!! People are different once you move in with them, you start learning their habits and so on. And that’s when you decide what you can put up with and what you can’t..

Are you Christian? If not then it doesn't matter. I mean really Christian not just Christian because your mom is. The Bible doesn't say you can't move in together. The Bible says not to fornicate the presumption is if you live together you will be having sex. Not having sex before marriage is another topic in and of its self. The Bible also speaks to not doing anything that gives the appearance of sinfulness this is broad but in this context it would be sex before marriage. If you aren't Christian then non if this matters and if you are mature enough to get married then you should be able to decide for your self. If you are Christian than I would say don't move in God made us and has a reason for why he has told us not to have sex with a person we aren't married to. That includes emotional entaglements, pregnancy, STDs and the notion that you have to have sex that you lack self control. That's not a full explanation or a neat one but if you aren't Christian meaning you have a personal relationship with God/Jesus then this is all moot and your mother shouldn't be saying what she is saying.

I"m a Christian and we've lived together for two years. He moved in with me when he lost his house. I couldn't let him be homeless even though we'd only been dating few months at that time. I have actually known christian couples who have moved in together but not shared a bed or bedroom. Once couple did share a room but had twin beds!

View Quoted Comment Both FH and I are Christian. But my lease ends next month I wouldn’t have a place to live for a month before we get married. If I move in he has a guest room I could stay in.

View Quoted Comment My plan was to move in into his guest room to make it more acceptable for my mom but apparently that still isn’t good enough. It would only be a month before marriage i literally don’t have many options I’m a full time student with enough money to pay for the last month of my lease but that’s it I’m broke after. And my sister lives an hour away so commute would be horrible especially since I don’t have a car I just hate how she is making it so hard.

Most of the people I know, at least 90%, are Christian. Every one of the last 100 plus weddings I have been to, except 2 seventeen year olds, Li rd together 3 months to 3 years before marriage. The 17 yr olds got permission to marry young, because though not living together, she was pregnant. . . Your mom cannot expect you to live your life, her way. You are an adult now. . . Not all Christians believe every doctrine of their churches. Though they may believe in all basic tenets of Christianity. But except for nobility and the rich, there was a time when in the British Isles and most of Europe, and every existing American state, common law marriage was accepted by the government, and almost every Christian denomination. As long as once you moved in with each other, declared yourselves to be married, and stayed faithful evermore, the greatest concern was that you legally marry, or have a church service and announced common law marriage, before having children. Only since the 1950's have most states stopped accepting common law marriage, 15 in 2004. And in those who do, you simply fill out a form, the affidavit of common law. You can marry any time after it. But once you do it, you must live as married exclusive to one another. Since this was accepted by most Christian churches for so many centuries, a lot of people feel that living separately is not a basic Christian value, any more than lots of other things Christians used to do. Not all tithe. Not all cut out all drinking, luxuries, and the eating of meat, for 40 days of Lent, not all cover their heads, and many Christian denominations are quite okay with birth control, and divorce, abortion, and acceptance of homosexuality. . . You need to forget about what family and peers have decided. Examine your own basic religious feelings. What doctrine of the church, or biblical teaching, do you accept and live by. What, and what not to follow, are in your mind and conscience.. And make your decisions and live your life accordingly.

Have you considered going month to month on your current place? As long as you give a 30 day's notice they typically would like to keep it rented for as long as possible. I'm Christian and live with my FH, but my family isn't disapproving of it. My FSIL had to hide that she was living with her fiance before they got married because he came from a German Baptist family lol.

View Quoted Comment I live in an apartment with 3 other people once my lease ends they will move in someone else to replace my spot (we live in a college town). I also live with really toxic people so I wouldn’t want to stay there any longer than I have too I basically stay at his place 3-5 days a week it just frustrates me how my mom is acting so it doesn’t make sense to continue to pay for a place I barely spend time in.

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I'm not saying go against your parents wishes, BUT you are an adult. Do they have to know everything about your personal life? Maybe you can swing living together for a month until the wedding... idk. My family isn't so strict so they don't really care- but I'm not sure how I would proceed if I knew they were against it. Is their reasoning because of premarital sex? Because people still do that without actually living together... How do YOU actually feel about living together before the wedding?