Living Together While Engaged?

@Fins: I'm sure that will be hard for you to wait to live together until months after you are married! I give you both so much credit!

@GodIsLove: I think your decision is so admirable, and I'm sure you will have a beautiful wedding this weekend! Congratulations!

I believe it is a personal decision. FS and I did not plan on it. However, we both had leases that ended so we moved back in with parents thinking this would be good until September. However, his parents are now getting divorced and his mom moved 2 hours away and he moved in with my parents. So we decided to get a place on the 1st of July so he is only on an air mattress for 2 weeks. There are 6 people in my house right now, that is crowded even though we have a lot of space. So for us, our plans changed but we aren't going to worry about it 2 months before the wedding. Do as you like!

I agree and also beleive that it is a personal decision. FH and I live together since March. We didn't have much of a choice because he moved to Philly (my hometown) from NYC (his hometown) and with saving for the wedding and all it was better for us to live together. I also don't think it's a bad idea to live together before marraige. But that is just my personal opinion. I will say this.... when you live together it's really a whole different ball game. You both change and your relationship changes. It was hard for us not seeing eachother during the week and having a "weekend relationship" when he moved in we were so happy... and we still are very happy and are more in love than ever but I have to be honoest when I say there are some days that I miss the days that I had to myself. But with that being said... I wouldn't trade what I have now for the world.

We have been together for 7 years, but only started living together since May of this year. We both feel it's a very personal decision, but for us, we feel more comfortable if we were married. (The situation surrounding moving in together was sudden and rather unexpected) It's the main reason why we moved the date of the wedding from 5/2011 to 7/2010 - we just felt that, why wait? We are already living together, what's the reason to wait just to have a wedding? So, I figured it would take a minium of 2 1/2 months to put together the bare minium for a wedding, and BAM! there we are!

DH & I didn't live together or sleep together untill after we said "I do". We are probably the minority here but that was our decision and what we wanted

FH and I have been living together for a while and I am glad that we made that decision because there were alot of things he and I had to get used to doing. We are the both sign and we share the same b-day month...just 5 days apart so as you know we are very much alike and that could cause lots of problems...lol

We have been living together for somewhere around 4 yrs now LOL..We jumped way ahead of the game..I have to say I dont think I would be able to marry him if we werent living together so long ..its a long story but us living together has helped us both grow up and together

I think it's a personal choice a couple makes, what works for one couple might not work for another. We have been living together for 3 and half years. We were long distance for the longest time, 7 years to be exact, and toward the end of that period we spent a lot of time together, I remember staying at his place for 18 days, so we just knew we wanted to share our living spaces. He moved from PA down to VA for me, and living together has been the best choice for us.

I actually think its a good idea, you sometimes never really know someone till you live with them. Me and my FH have been living together for 2 years and honestly it has made us closer. I know every couple is different but whatever you feel is right is the best decision for you.

Great idea! But you need the right attitude about it. It can't be just a trial but about starting your lives together earlier, perhaps to save money, but with serious intent. Kind of like not getting married unless you're sure that divorce is not an option.

I'm so happy we were able to live together for a few months before getting engaged. It just cemented my belief that we were meant to be together and it calmed down any fears I had of living with another person day in and day out for the rest of my life. ;p

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It's not a trial though if you are already engaged and heavily into your wedding planning and it should not be taken as an experiment.

Actually for wedding planning purposes, it's easier because the FS is already there to bounce off ideas, questions, etc.

But of course, maintain your separate activities and get away from each other now and then, especially with the stress of planning.

I was dating my FS for 6 months then we moved in together, an I loved it, mainly because I loved him and I wanted to be with him all the time. It really gave us a chance to see how we would work as a couple under the same roof. It worked out better than I could imagine. Yes, you have to get used to all their quirks and routines, but it's worth it. With every single one of my adult family members having minimum of 1 divorce I figured living together to do like a "trial" situation: sharing bills, cooking, cleaning ect. Now we're engaged and I can't wait to really be a Mrs.

I never imagined living with someone before marrying them. But once I found FS, after a few months, we couldn't sleep apart. He would always be over here, or I was over there. His grandma got jealous that I had all of his attention so things kind of went sour there (He was living w/ his grandparents) and after much debate, my parents offered him a place to live; here. Which, I never thought they would have done, but FS was so depressed and physically sick from the stress at his g-parents =0(

So he's lived here for about a year exactly, with all his stuff. But we haven't slept a night apart in almost a year and a half! =0x

I think for me, now, I prefer to live with him than not. Because a lot of people get married and move in, then realize that they bug the heck out of each other, since people do things differently in their home. Which creates a lot of arguments. This way, there isn't much stress on our marriage because we will already have grown custom to each others habits.

Personally..I am glad that I have lived with FS the last two years..it's been a learning experience and it really tests your relationship. But that's just us.

It is a personal choice like everyone else said. For me, I am waiting until we get married to live together. I am doing it for religious reason and like someone said about their mom saying that on wedding day, you get so excited to stare a new life together. That is how I feel, like can't wait to marry him to explore living with him, learning together with (like find out about his weird habits more lol) and grow old together. It is right just for ME. If I was married before, I would live with someone before getting married again.

*share not stare lol

I didn't read all the other posts, but do agree that it's a personal decision. I respect couples that wait until marriage to live together, but for us we moved in together about 2 years ago. So we were living together a year before we got engaged. We had been together for almost 3 years before that so it was not done in haste by any means. We also had lengthy discussions about it before doing so. Another deciding factor for us was that we were moving from MN to NC so I could go to grad school so the logistics of it were easier to move in together. It def took some time to get used to, but I couldn't imagine having had to wait another two yrs. Are you and your FS trying to decide if you should move in together? If so I just talking about it and writing out some pros and cons would be helpful. Good luck!

I've lived my FS for two years now. we just got engaged this past february and by the time we get married we will have lived together almost 3 years. I love living with him and I wouldn't change a thing. we had a LD relationship for a while and that was so hard, then when we lived close we always stayed at his place. I was paying rent for an empty apartment lol. so it worked out best for us.

My fiance and I recently got engaged and had been living together for over 2 years prior to that. I honestly couldn't imagine NOT having lived with him already. I think it depends on a lot of factors: financial, life situations, personal feelings on the matter, etc. Don't listen to the noise you hear from family/friends/etc. It's all about what works for YOUR particular situation. In the end, you're getting married and will be sharing a home together anyway. I think in this day in age, people are less rigid about those kinds of things.

FH and I live togather but on seprate ends of the house. I'd never lived with someone else (well less than a month once so I don't think that counts) and hadn't planned on it because I felt like it was like letting him have his cake and eat it too. Then he fail on hard times and here is this extra room. So we made the agreement of seprate rooms till we are married. We aren't Christian but we do live in the bible belt and we don't want our 4yr old to go around saying something and her getting judge because of our choices. It's just not that big of a deal for us to not wait till we're married to be in the same room and same bed.

I think living together while being engaged is a very good idea. Moreover it is very helpful for your relationship. You will get to know what he is like at home, what he does, and how he reacts on stuff. You'll find out what he likes the most and what he hates the most. You will know better before the marriage so if there are some unresolved conflicts you could resolve them before you are married.