Living With Husband After Wedding Transition?

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Just remember there will also be frustrations - he'll have his way and you'll have yours, and you need to come up with a way that works for both of you. (For example, I have clothes that don't go in the dryer, but when he does laundry he dumps everything in the dryer - we compromised - I keep those items in a separate basket and wash them separately AND we keep the dryer set on low just in case something gets in the wrong pile.)

Things that the two of you like to do together now, will stay fun and important - and remember to see inconveniences (especially in travel) as adventures/things to be laughed at - we still talk about and laugh about the rain on our honeymoon (we call it the Tomorrowland swimming pool lol)

We spend quality time together but also have separate alone time; I may go out shopping and he may work on his truck for hours or go out with his friend. We have a date night weekly where we keep phones on silent and focus on us. Also we like to travel to together, we've been to North Carolina and Maryland so far. It's an adjustment to get use to routines, and habits. Hubby is disorganized and I'm organized, so there can be lots of compromising which works for us. Like someone previously said read the book The 5 Love Languages. For myself and my hubby, ours is physical touch; cuddling, kissing, hand holding, sex. Intimacy is very important in our marriage and if a week is busy sometimes we may have to "schedule " sex in, Like if he works overtime Monday and I'm working ans doing school work, it may be later in the evening it'll be our "us" time. But definitely learning how to read your partner is very important. When we left home to live together, his mom was crying and so was mt dad. We were excited and I missed my parents a little but see them biweekly.

I'm very curious as to why you are worried about your FH growing tired or bored with you? And why you think moving out means abandoning your family?

If he wants to marry you, that means he wants to spend *a lot* of time with you. Moving into your own place is a good and healthy step.

DH and I lived together 3 years before we got married, and we spent a good 7 months of 2020 nearly unable to leave each other's presence, and I'm honestly cranky when he has to work late.

My first husband and I did not live together before marriage. We were young 21 & 23. We were intimate prior to marriage but the feeling of being married and having the freedom to do what we wanted was blissful. We basked in our love for a long time after that. Our sex live just got better and better every year. Actually spending the whole night together for the first time was wonderful. It was an amazing feeling. Our families still meddled though.

We didn't wait until we were married to live together but I do have some advise to keep it fun and interesting while living together. Personally I'd say it's important to spend time together but to also spend time apart. Let him go out with his friends and do his own thing and you do the same. If you guys have "couple friends", both of you go out with them too! When you move in with your partner, you're with each other all of the time. Even though that can be great at the beginning, it can start to get annoying a times. No one can spend every day with someone and not get annoyed from time to time. You start to see things that they do that might bother or annoy you, but it's best to let it go in my experience. For example, my husband walks in the house after work and literally leaves a trail of his clothes, shoes & belt upstairs to our bedroom to get clothes and then into the bathroom from him to shower. It bugs the crap out of me, but I let it go. At first I said things about it but over time I learned that's just something he does. He picks up his clothes when he comes out of the shower and takes them down to the laundry room (if I don't do it while he's in the shower), but leaving the trail is just what he does. On the other hand, I had a weird thing about remaking the bed before I go to sleep. Not putting the decorative pillows on it again or anything, but making sure that the covers are tucked in and even. I know it drives my husband nuts, but he lets it go because it's what I do and what I've done since I was a kid.

Like what do couples do when they live together especially when they're both working full time? My husband and I both work full time and it is very rare that we have a day off together, but when we do we make sure to spend it together. Our day off together could be going for a drive or going to lunch, or it could even be us just lounging around the house watching sports or Netflix all day. Sometimes we do go out with our friends when we're off together and hang out, but it's also important to have us time. On days that we both work, we come home, each shower, cook dinner and then talk about our days and watch something on TV; normally it's sports related, but then we break off and do our own things. My husband will call his dad to talk about something sports related, or we'll go over to their house. On days we stay home, I'll do laundry or clean, or even go in our room and read before bed. Then my husband comes in our room, we watch an episode of TV show we started together on Netflix, talk some more and then go to bed. Keep in mind it's important to do stuff together but it's equally as important to do things that you like to do separately.

How do you keep it interesting as you live with him for years? Well recently I bought 2 Nerf guns at target and had his in the garage when he got home form work. When he walked in the door (before he started his trail routine, lol), I attacked him with it and we had a nerf gun battle through our house, lol.

How do you handle the thought of you and your husband are your own family now and deal with the abandonment feeling of leaving your family's home? This one can be tough for some. I know for me, I moved out of my childhood home when I was 18 and moved to a different state before moving back in state 4 years later, so I already went through that feeling. My husband, on the other hand, lived with his parents up until we got together, but he was completely ready to move out when the time came. My husband's family means the world to him and he's close to both of his parents and his youngest sister who still lives in the house. We do go over their house often to hang out and my husband will go over on his own sometimes to watch football or hockey with his dad. It's important to keep in contact with your family and even go over every once in awhile. It might take time but that feeling will go away. Don't look at it as your and your husband being your own family and abandoning your family. Look at it as you adding to your family while you and your husband start your own lives together.

Hi Faye! I think that's a totally normal worry! My fiancé and I have lived together for 5 years and I've honestly never questioned whether he'll get bored. We moved in together in college so experienced all the different stages of living together while we were both crazy busy, staying together while I lived in another state for 3 months for an internship, living together with different work shifts (I worked 9-5 and he worked retail, sometimes 2-10 pm), and for the last 2 years or so, we've finally been in a more "normal" phase where we both have day jobs and have our evenings free.

I love a lot of the tips others left in these comments about date nights and making time for each other. We try to plan weekly date nights, take turns cooking, and spend time together every night in some way. We always eat dinner together (except for the seasons when one of us was working in the evenings). It might change when we have kids and are busier, but we even try to do little things like grocery shopping together just to give ourselves a reason to go out together every weekend. We've started budgeting together once a week which gives us time to connect on our dreams and goals, and keeps the communication going.

I think I had that feeling of abandoning family when I left for college, so I can relate on that front. I think I had to remind myself that, while your blood family is forever, the people you'll really have at the end of your life are yourself and your spouse. Even your kids will eventually have less time to spend with you and might not always prioritize you. I still sometimes get sad that I don't see my parents super often (we live about 5 hours away), but I try to remind myself that these years of investing in my own growth, and my relationship's growth, will pay off. Plus, my family loves my fiancé, and my fiancé loves them, so we'll be able to make more happy memories every time we go back to visit.

Hope that helps!