Living with parents before marriage

Just get used to communicating is he has habits you don't like and make sure he does the same! But also don't sweat the small stuff. Don't like the way he loads the dishwasher? Let it go. Worried about his spending habits? Talk that out! Don't let the big stuff fester! Also, make sure you both understand that you'll each need time by yourselves (meaning not with each other) regularly to just...do your own thing. But don't forget/underestimate the importance of regular date nights.

My fiancé and I are in our early 20s too! But we have lived together for almost 2 years. My advice for first time living together is pick your fights. You have no place to run away to when you live together. So make sure the things that you freak out about or start a fight about are worth it. The first couple months we lived together were full of petty fights about him cleaning up after himself. It was soooo annoying to me that he couldn't throw away his trash or pick up his dirty clothes! But i eventually realized that it was WAY easier for me to just throw away the gum wrapper or pick up his socks than it was to nag him and scold him for it. It took me awhile but I realized that he is out working every single day, he doesn't want to come home to be yelled at. He doesn't live with his mother for a reason (; so just pick your fights wisely and enjoy each other. Don't take it for granted. Yes you will be seeing eachother ALL the time, but you still need to cherish it and make it exciting (:

Is there ANY opportunity to move out and live on your own with our parents or DH?

Because that is my advice.

Long rant, sorry(;

Remember how petty some things are. I vividly remember FH and I getting into a huge argument because he squeezes the tooth paste. Communication is key!

You should def probably get some books on financial management, I am assuming neither of you have had never had a whole household full bills to manage. It's not hard, but it can be a struggle if you've never done it. Paying rent/mortgage, home/renter insurance, property taxes, association fees, gas, water, electric, alarm system, phone, cable, internet, car payments, car insurance & regular maintenance in addition to making sure their is gas in the cars, groceries in the fridge and still money leftover for saving, vacations, goals, etc is very different from just paying a cell phone bill and helping out at your parents house. Living together is a transition so nothing will make it perfect. Premarital counseling should help also.

Communication is key! Understanding you are two different people with differing/same viewpoints and being able to find that common ground. Being able to compromise and picking your battles. Respect each other's space but also cherishing those moments together. It's not easy initially but well worth with the person you love.

I second what everyone else has said: communication is essential. From my experience and friend's experiences, the hardest time in a relationship (before kids) is the living together process. Things change and you notice things you didn't before. When FH and I tie the knot, we'll have lived together for over 2.5 years. I'm SO glad we did it before marriage. I can not imagine the stress of getting married and living together for the first time. Any chance you could live with each other before your wedding?

Oh an its ok to carve out some personal space even when you live together. Like Mrs S said there is no place to run when you live together, but it healthy to have some space of your own. This could be an entire room or as simple as a chair. When you each come home from work greet each other, maybe a kiss, but give each other time to unwind alone. Don't immediately overload the other person talking about your day, bills, house stuff, etc. Wait at least 30 mins.

Don't run home to mom or dad the first time you have an argument. That IS your home now and there's nowhere to run also no more "venting" about your FH to parents and friends. You will be quicker to forgive him then they will be if anything happens. Good luck!

Didn't read PPs but FH and I didn't move in together until we had been together 3 years and had a child. We had a chaotic start: 1 month old baby, roommate same age (22 at the time) but childless, and first time living with anyone but parents. Needless to say, the first year was just terrible. We ended up kicking out the roommate because--though he was single when we first all moved in together--his girlfriend was seriously overstaying her welcome and literally spending every night at our house. I can't tell you if it's the parenting newborns, or the crappy roomie, but even after that first year, it took us another 6 months to really start getting our bearings.

I'm definitely in the live with each other first boat. We struggled so much but it definitely made us stronger. The whole situation would have broken other couples up.

Unfortunately, we can not live together before. The lease we signed for doesn't start till the week of the wedding. Also it is a religious view that we not live with each other before marriage. I have NOTHING against people living with each other before hand. I tend to agree with everyone who has but our parents strongly disagree. We communicate well right now, which I guess will be tested when we move in. I appreciate everyone comments and advice! I think this does really help.

Take some personal space whenever you need it. Be honest about finances and communicate.

We moved in together nearly 4 years ago. Honestly for us it was incredibly easy. Probably because we spent nearly every waking second together prior to moving in so it didn't feel like a big change. Like others have mentioned, don't sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles. We are super open and talk about finances which I think helps. This is one of the biggest problem topics for a lot of couples.

The worst story I've heard of people moving in together is the guy dipped to a hotel on the first little fight they had. BIG mistake. It only infuriated her more. Just know that this is your home and you need to talk things through. We don't pull the sleeping on the couch crap. We also try to never go to bed mad. I'm not saying it never happens, but if we do we still sleep in the same bed and don't belittle the other person.

Some people really struggle with having someone check on where they are all the time. You'll be husband and wife so you'll have to be used to it. Not saying it's a problem, I really like it. It's just if you're late for dinner the other one is always texting wondering where they are. Seperate time is good for some people. I go to the gym and do my thing and he doesn't mind the time alone to do what he wants to do. But we don't really hang out too often with different people. For us most of our friends have become "couple" friends and we hang out as a group.

Lots of thoughts! I know you said living together prior isn't an option, I just have found it very helpful to live together before hand. You'll be fine!

I'm a fan of jumping in head first. Just be you. You can't hide who you are and shouldn't have to especially for the person you will spend your life with. It's not always pretty but it's life. Just remember that poop, farts, and vomit happen to everyone.

Everyone has pretty much covered the bases so far. Have you heard of the advice that say don't go to bed angry? That's a VERY good guideline especially when you live with the person. FH and I made a rule that as long as we're in the same apt/house, we won't sleep away (couch/guestroom) from each other. This forces us to communicate and work out the fight before bed rather than have it linger.

Also be very open with finances! FH and I don't share a bank account (nor do we want to) but we know all the details of each others financials and make every big decision together.

Don't be afraid to tell him if something bothers you, but be nice about it! You don't want to become the constantly nagging wife

Be ready for disagreements and surprises. People don't always have the same habits and stuff that may be important for one of you, might be irrelevant for the other. As everyone said, communication is key, but also learning to pick your battles. I agree with

FFW, it's crucial to make sure both of you see eye to eye regarding financial decisions, both big and small. DH used to think it was a waste to buy a new pair of winter boots if I already owned a pair that worked. I used to think it was crazy for someone to keep their savings in a checking account. You won't start thinking and acting the same way on day one, so communication, tolerance and loooooots of patience

Following because I'm in a situation similar to OP! Although I've been living at college across the state, but I know that it will still be an adjustment ...

Living together is a huge adjustment. When you are with your parents you only have to really think about you. Moving is a whole new ball game. Bills, groceries, toliet paper, cleaning things, toothpaste. All the little things you don't think of add up. Having a budget to make sure everything is taken care of is huge. Talking about who is paying what, if your joining bank accounts or not. Meal planning it's a huge adjustment.

That being said communication is the biggest thing. Don't nit pick but be open to talk about things it's a huge change for both of you.

Oh and patience you need a lot of that.