Long engagement... Choosing moh later?

You don’t want to just have both of them be co MOHs?

View Quoted Comment I guess I didn’t even think of that being an option!

I would do co-MOHs like Melle suggested. However, I’d also wait to choose your wedding party until 8-9 months before your wedding. You never know if your relationships will change (and they may not, but I always err on the side of caution, especially after having read so many posts about brides upset because they chose their party too early and something changing the relationship with the girls).

None should be announced ( even if decided in your head ) until 8-12 months before the wedding. The longer before the wedding

Sorry ... the longer the wedding party is chosen before the wedding, the more likely you are to have problems with your wedding party, for lack of interest over time, to infighting, to losing those who move, set their own wedding dates and have little time, or marry and move on. There is nothing for bridal party that needs to be done before 6-7 months that any friend could not do with you. BM/MOH dresses come in 2-10 weeks after ordering, and are ordered in the last 4-5 months so no one changes sizes enough to need alterations. No one wants to spend $200 to $300 more to alter a dress that cost $150-$300 to begin with. .... And parties, which your Bridal Party may offer to plan, but which any other close female friend or family may volunteer to do too, usually happen 1-4 months out, and take a few months to plan max. Read the huge number of times the problems occur 10 months to 2.5 years out, on WW or anywhere else, and you will see why the traditional time for naming any BM, MOH, GM or BM is no sooner that 8-12 months out.

My sister is getting married in 2022 as well, and she's doing her bridal party proposals in late October. She's waiting specifically bc her soon to be sister in law is having her reception in October and she wanted to wait until after that.
Asking your bridal party sooner rather than later would give them more time to save up some money for dresses, hair, make-up, bridal shower, etc...it is expensive to be a BM.

They are obviously both important to you- just have them both be MOH!

I agree with the previous suggestions, you could choose both!


However, I would wait to ask them to be in your bridal party until time gets closer. Relationships can and do change, so it never hurts to wait a little bit. I suggest asking your wedding party within a year of the wedding.

Why can’t you have them both as a MOH? For my wedding both my sister and bestfriend are mine.

I wouldn't ask anyone to be in your bridal party until much closer to your wedding. Relationships can change over time and if you ask people too early you could end up regretting it. I have seen tons of brides post bridal party regrets. I am one of those brides and I asked people 9 months before my wedding.

View Quoted Comment We’re also doing a destination wedding so I am wanting to give them time to save for those additional costs as well esp since most of them have SOs that will be invited that they will have to save up to bring.

Is one married and the other unmarried? You could make one the Matron of Honor and the other one your Maid of Honor.

Or you could have both of them just be your MoH, it wouldn't offend them, would it?

I think it might be better for you to wait if you are still unsure, but why not have both as your MoH.

You could have two MOHs or no MOHs. There are really no rules here.

I think its perfectly fine to wait until closer to the date (maybe a year out) to pick your bridal party, but if you have your bridal party selected I think it would be okay to invite them all and not have an MOH picked out (unless you think some of the girls will be petty and then start competing for the MOH role). If you feel like you can't pick between two girls though, I say just don't and have them share the role!

I would pick your MOH when you do your proposals for everyone. I will say that I have been engaged for nearly 5 years and my wedding is this October. We wanted to get through college and wait till we moved closer home to get married. I waited until a year before our wedding to ask my only bridesmaid to be my maid of honor. I originally planned on asking more but a lot can change in just a years time.

Just pick them both?

Definitely wait to select anyone until you get closer. Realistically, even for a destination wedding, someone in your wedding party who has to actively save starting this far out probably won’t be able/want to make it. Our weddings just aren’t as important to everyone else as they are to us- which is ok!
There are a lot of posts on here about people who want to remove BM, it’s just not worth the high risk of something changing when there is virtually zero benefit. As you get closer, maybe it will become more clear who to pick. If not, then the option of 2 MOH is still available!

Also a 2022 bride for the same reason! I already asked my friends I was way to impatient and want to give them time to save and plan as well. I also am having. 2 MOH my best friend of 20 years and my cousin who is basically my sister.

I’m getting married May 2022 and am asking my bridal party this weekend. I don’t really see a reason to wait to ask them as I’m already planning my wedding and would love their opinions and ideas! My bridal party is small on purpose, I’m only having those closest to me. I can’t control the future so if relationship change then so be it, I’ll adapt, but I’m also an optimist so clearly not concerned over here Also these girls aren’t my acquaintances, my maid of honor is my sister, my matron is my best friend of over 12 years, the other two are basically my sisters/besties for years. I say do what you feel is best for you. There are no rules. Happy planning!!!