My fiancé and I have been together/arguing, off and on, for the last 8 years. I proposed to her in 2019. We had a large ~400 person wedding scheduled for 2020. My side 350, hers 50. I have a huge family and friend network and cut out so many to get to 350. Wedding was cancelled due to COVID and we decided to just do a court marriage in March/April 2021 and start our life together. We're not living together until after marriage.
Neither of us wanted a big wedding but family pressure and now we have the perfect reason for not having any guests. We have not booked a specific day since it's just going to the court house with 2 witnesses to sign a document.
My fiancé has been going through some health issues (bloody diarrhea for last 4 weeks now) and the doctors have done every test and can't figure it out. This may not be too relevant but we have been asked if this is related to something sexual, we have not been sexually active in over 8 months. I'm fine with the court marriage but wanted to have my mom, brother & brothers girlfriend and her parents and siblings over for small dinner/drinks in the evening for a tiny celebration, total of 11 people including us.
She's making a huge deal about me always wanting to party and celebrate and doesn't want to do anything because she's sick. I rarely party, never once thrown a party in my life, never once had any friends over for dinner or drinks. I don't understand why she thinks I'm selfish for wanting to celebrate with a glass of champagne or wine and have very close family over to celebrate our big day. This is a once in a lifetime event and a major step for us. She doesn't intend to ever have any party in the future (no future baby shower when pregnant, no anniversary party, no kids birthday parties, no parties whatsoever). Am I wrong in wanting to have 3 of my family and 6 of her family over for a small dinner after we are officially married?
I understand she's sick and I have said we can wait until she gets better. She then blames me for wanting to delay even more and brings up our 8 yrs together and still not married and she accuses me of not wanting to marry cause she's sick. She doesn't want to travel after wedding due to COVID, and now because she's sick (understandably with bloody diarrhea all day). So honeymoon is not happening. There's no intimacy whatsoever in the relationship and none for the last year. It just seems so depressing getting officially married and then just going home and watching TV instead of sharing the wonderful event with a few family.
