Losing interest in wedding since future sister-in-law announced wedding 3 months after ours

Yes, you are being petty. You get one day. Even if her wedding was a week before or a week after, so what? You are different people with different tastes. Your weddings aren't even going to be in the same season or venue. What's there to compare? A least 50 percent of your guest list will be different too.

My 2 cousins (brother and sister) got married within 3 months of each other. Each wedding was very different because each couple had their own style and interests that they show off. For example, the first wedding focused on the grooms love of his fav football team. The second wedding focused on the brides childhood dance background.



I DO understand why you might be a little upset and perturbed but I don’t think they got engaged and decided their date just to spite you. Maybe they want to start a family as soon as possible. Maybe there are other reasons.

Maybe you can get together with your fiancés sister and chat about wedding planning and see what similarities and differences you are leaning towards in the planning process. You can laugh about the similarities (wow, we’re both having a DJ!) or (I’m doing a bouquet toss and you decided you’re not doing a bouquet toss) and try to normalize the fact that you’ll both be having a wedding.

I’m sorry I don’t have more advice. Good luck!!

You each get one 24 hour period to celebrate. Considering that there are limited weekends available, someone is going to share a wedding day with someone else on the planet.

Take note that your announcement of your engagement could have raised the idea of marriage for your FSIL. This happens among siblings and friends. They get extra permission and incentive to marry. So it is actually good that the other wedding is planned.

The other thing is that the wedding events are not competitions. They are celebrations of marriage (again with a reflection on the earlier point). Just make the wedding as you would like (and probably likable to the guests).

Finally, your guests will be mostly unique (especially on your side of the family). So most will not have any chance to compare one against the other. Just enjoy yours and be happy for others with all hope of blessings for everyone.

Is this about the weddings being within the same year (they gave you PLENTY of gap time) or about you having to have waited longer for a commitment from your partner? You are being super petty.


Every wedding is different and is an occasion to be celebrated. Weddings are also lose lose in that you can't make everyone happy and it brings out the entitlement and price hiking in everyone. A second wedding in the family that is 3 months after yours will be the least of your problems. By the time your wedding comes around, all of their wedding details will have been finalized. The sticker shock, chasing down vendors, and guest list drama will overshadow how you feel about your SiL's wedding.
It's just a party. If you're willing to elope on a mountaintop, surely you're capable of being a chill bride.
There is nothing original about weddings. It's not a competition.

View Quoted Comment Great answer!!

I understand your concern. At least your wedding is first as some guests may not be able to swing both due to taking time off work or financially.

Yes, you are being petty. You are making something so small into something big. She is having her wedding three months after you not the same day, so what's the problem. No one is going to compare weddings. I feel you are overthinking. There is a lot that comes with wedding planning, why stress about someone who is having her wedding 3 months after you?

It's natural to want to be the center of attention during this phase of your life, so don't beat yourself up for having feelings, but the reality is that people get engaged and married on dates all over the calendar. Getting engaged after a year of dating and picking a date a year out from the engagement are both normal timeframes.

Can you pinpoint a specific reason why this is bugging you? If it's the fact that your partner took longer to propose, it might help to have a conversation with your partner or a couple's counselor to work through those feelings. Sometimes even if there's a logical reason to hold off on a proposal (finances, school, career, etc.), it can still hurt to have to wait for that commitment. Seeing someone else close to you not have to have that wait for a proposal can trigger some additional resentment as well. Again, it's human nature to have feelings, but it could help to work through them with a partner/ professional.

If you're bugged by people making comparisons, don't give them anything to compare. If a judgy family member asks about what cake flavor you chose, just tell them you haven't decided yet or that you want everyone to be surprised. If anyone makes a comment on what your FSIL is doing, tell them that sounds nice and change the subject.

People will be thrilled for you on your day, and there's plenty of time in between for you to enjoy the newness of your marriage and for the excitement of your wedding to die down before your FSIL's wedding. Don't let this get to you