Loss in the Family

Hi WW Brides,

I was talking to some of my girlfriends who are fellow brides or recent brides and we agreed that this topic isn’t addressed enough on these forums. My hope is that this discussion lets any brides and their families know they’re not alone!

Around a year into our engagement/year out from wedding day, my uncle passed away suddenly in Sept 2018. In Dec 2018, my fiancé’s uncle lost his battle with cancer. In Feb 2019, my fiancé’s family lost another loved one, his great aunt, his maternal grandfather’s sister. In 5 months we lost 3 members of our collective family. We got through it as anyone goes, one day at a time.

Until we were refining the guests list. I was not prepared to cut down the guest list because 3 loved ones passed away before our big day. I actually paused and cried as it hurt to remove their names. Admittedly, I actually marked them red for a bit before removing entirely, as if they’d come back. I wasn’t ready to remove them like it was no big deal. That’s okay! I removed them when I was ready.

There are plenty of forums here about the passing of parents of brides/grooms and not enough about the loss of anyone else before your special day. You’re not alone, no you shouldn’t have moved up your wedding if it didn’t make sense for you. In the case of my fiancé’s uncle, he was gone in 6 months from diagnosis to passing and the doctors thought they could buy him a few more years. By the time he turned for the worst, he was gone in 2 weeks. It wouldn’t have been feasible and wouldn’t have been healthy for our family during that time. Those weeks were needed to prepare my fiancé’s aunt for the financial impact since his uncle paid the bills. That was more important.

My hope is that this post brings you some small comfort that others have been and are going through it as well. It’s hard and will get easier. There are plenty of ways to honor those we lost at a wedding if you choose to. And rest assured, they’ll be at your wedding, even if you can’t see and hug them.

All my love to those grieving during what should be a joyous time. xoxo.