Mad about Rsvp's

I think it's rude and out of line to tell your invited guests to bring their own food and chair because they missed a deadline. Things happen. People get busy. Mail gets lost. Things are forgotten. A simple "hey, our RSVP deadline was x date and we noticed we haven't received yours. If we don't hear from you by x date, we will assume you're unable to attend," would be sufficient.

I agree with PPs that it was a little harsh of FH to send that message, but I see your frustration. If they don't RSVP, they don't get included in the final headcount - simple!

You can only do so much, but I agree with PPs.

A bit harsh (I do see that you reworded yourself!)

A lot gets in the way of responding and most of the time, it's a simple mistake in forgetting rather than not wanting to answer. I had to ask one couple three times before I got a yes/no -- and each time they apologized saying that they thought they sent the RSVP and they'd get back to me. If you are direct and ask for your final count, that usually kicks people into gear. Don't let your irritation show, it shows their character not to respond but yours to not handle it in a gracious manner. Remember, they're setting aside time for you it's about -you-, they give -you- gifts and well wishes and if they're trampled on or feel slighted... don't think that they'll want to bother with it or they might just keep giving you the run-around.

Remember, while the wedding is about you -- you need to appreciate the time that your guests are taking out to attend or maybe send you something on the side if they cannot. It is terribly frustrating to get last minute responders or people who won't say anything, but you roll with the punches and give them that last time to answer.

I think the others have stated it rather well -- I know when I texted at least twenty people of my party I literally said: "Hey, I was going over the seating chart and I wanted to make sure my count is correct and that I can get everything in order. I appreciate your time. Please let me know this week so I can include all who wish to attend."

I at least had to send this similar text out, differently worded, two more times to certain people -- life had just gotten in the way.

Give them a hard deadline and if they don't answer then that is just a no from them. it's hard but you unfortunately have to follow up with rsvps

Yes, I think it's wrong. Literally every bride deals with chasing down RSVPs. We had to chase down 61 RSVPs (225 people total invited) and we gave people 6 weeks to RSVP online or with the stamped & addressed paper we included. We still had to reach out. That's just part of wedding planning. I think adding a rude comment at the bottom is basically telling them not to come to your wedding when not RSVPing could have been an honest mistake.

Just remember, the wedding process is (or can be) frustrating.

It's okay to feel this frustration and to vent, just make sure that your guests aren't on the other end of it and don't feel that vibe from you. We all have felt this way and have wanted to respond with similar things, trust me. I know I wanted to be like: "I gave out RSVPs and I gave 5 weeks to answer, why!?". Haha. I even started feeling like: "I have so little coming, is this all -- ??" and it kind of depressed me for a little (by that point I only had about 80 of my 120 respond). I gave people 1 week past the deadline before I started throwing out texts, just so it didn't look like 'Here's the deadline, now I'm rounding all you slow peeps up' and instead I placed the blame on myself by saying "I might have lost your RSVP in the mail" and "I was doing the seating chart and I cannot seem to find your RSVP for my final count!". Despite what I was saying, don't get me wrong, I had my frustrations --

I think it can be hard to wrap our heads around when so much is going on that the wedding isn't encompassing their every day life, like it is ours.

Good luck and I hope you get your answers!