Maid Of Dishonor

You made her your maid of honor because she's your closest friend, not because of who she was dating. I don't see how her relationship should affect your friendship. She didn't cheat on you.

If keeping her is going to cause in law drama ditch her.
Personally I would be very uncomfortable having a cheater stand with me on my wedding day.
If you're questioning your friendship decide if she's worth it and if not tell her to get lost if she's not.

My FH says that he doesn't care but I can tell he does & I don't want it to cause fights between the 2 of us.

You should do what will make YOU happy, it’s your big day! If it will create unnecessary tension on your wedding day, then you should remove her. If you love her and want her there, then keep her.

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I have to agree with this. Without knowing the backstory of why you are questioning your friendship with her, it's hard to justify kicking her out. However, I will say that you should either kick her out completely or do nothing. Because demoting her would not go over well either. This is where you have to decide how much you value your friendship with her. Kicking her out will ultimately strain your relationship with her, so if you want to continue being friends then I would just leave it as is.

I had been the bridesmaid in a similar situation years back. My ex-fiance and I split after being together for 5 years right before the wedding of two really good friends. He never cheated on me, but he certainly was 'emotionally' and started chasing after a girl he had liked for years a week after we split.

Anyways, my friends' wedding was going to be only a few months after that. We were still paired together down the aisle, and still supported our friends because the day was about their wedding an not our ex-relationship.

I will say, a frank conversation with both the best man and MOH are necessary. You need to find out from them if they would be able to be there to focus on you two, or if their break-up would be too much for them.

View Quoted Comment Side Note: I love your picture & stalked your profile a little. Congratulations on the big day coming up.

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Lol, thank you! I am very excited...it's so close now.

You should take the high road.
Two wrongs, don't make a right.
Her actions don't reflect yours.
Kicking someone out of the bridal party , after you invited them of your own free will....is, at the very least rude. A true friend doesn't pass judgement on others. It will definitely hurt her feelings and probably damage the friendship beyond repair

Personally, I feel like you should have the most important people standing next to you on your big day. If she’s no longer important to you, ditch her especially if it’ll cause a rift between you and FH or family members.

I'm the type of person that would be furious about my best friend cheating on someone that I'm good friends with, especially after 5 years. Doesn't say very much about my friends character that she'd do that. I'd say if you can't see yourself continuing to be best friends with her after the wedding, I'd drop her. I'd hate to look back at my pictures and only remember the drama of the day.

I’m shocked by some of these responses honestly. “How does her cheating affect you?” Well you choose your friends based on who they are. If she has become a cheater then she has changed her character and likely become someone you probably wouldn’t have chosen as a friend in the first place. That’s what’s wrong with this world these days, people don’t realize that their actions not only affect them but other people as well. Now, I can see why you’re having problems with the friendship based off your post and I think you should have a conversation with her about how you feel and give her a chance to excuse herself from the BP. If she doesn’t than you can do it yourself. Yes, the friendship might be damaged now, but that doesn’t mean you two can’t decide to fix it after some time apart. Anyone who cheats is a child and needs to grow up before having adult relationships and friendships.

As PP have said, your day is about you not them! My MOH and BM also had a falling out but because they are both mine and FH best friends we still wanted them to stand beside us. What we did was speak to each of them separately and just asked that they both respect each other and us for that one day. Hopefully you can have that conversation as well and everything will work out.

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THIS! I was thinking this same thing exactly after reading the responses. I am just like why would you want someone who cheated on a family member STILL be in your bridal party for YOUR wedding. That sets a BAD example for the bride and groom. You want people who have morals which obviously your best friend doesn't have. Everyone makes mistakes, but, like this post said there is no reason why you girls can't take time a part and TRY to fix damage later. It's not you judging her at all, it's you wanting your wedding to be drama free. And since she cheated on your soon to be cousin in law, i don't think it's smart to have her in the wedding. If you decide for her to still be MOH then I am sure your family will respect it. You just need to have a talk with all parties involved.

Edit: At the end of it all you do whats going to make you and FH happy. If you think this best friend is going to cause a strain or make the day even a little unhappy, I wouldn't risk it.

View Quoted Comment I agree! Well said.

View Quoted Comment It’s a bit harsh. But my instinct went here too. I’d have issues with someone standing up with a wedding who had created on their long-term partner. I know my FH would be very uncomfortable with it. Loyalty is a big thing for us.

You know you friend and all the backstory better than we do though.

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I agree with this completely. Who's she's sleeping with is really none of your business and shouldn't affect your friendship, let alone your wedding.

It's your wedding day, you should have who you want up there with you. The people standing beside you on your wedding day should be people who you want in your life and by your side forever, especially your maid of honor. I personally would wither make her a bridesmaid or as her to not stand up there due to the recent circumstances if it were me. BUT I don't know y'alls backstory or the details. Hope everything works out alright!!! Good Luck

You cannot denote her, MOH become "only a bridesmaid" because she did something bad. That would be rude to all other bridesmaids. You keep her on, or you politely tell her that it seems things have changed in your personal friendship since she and BM split, and though she is welcome to attend as a guest, you no longer want her in your wedding party. I would want her to go. Splitting because they wanted to go their separate ways, I would ignore it provided they were both civil to each other after a breakup. But I have no tolerance for long term lying. This is not a simple mistake, it is a character thing. You can keep her or drop her, no demotions. (MOH is not a rank. It is an honor, usually for the one the bride has known longest or feels closest to. You cannot promote or demote an honorary title.)

View Quoted Comment If it’s causing division with your FH then it’s not worth it. You’re already questing the friendship. Don’t let your marriage start off on a negative note. If you and her are meant to be friends you’ll find a way past it and she’ll understand not playing a big role in the wedding. I would still give her the option to attend.