Maid of honor and twin sister skipping entire reception

I mean, it seems a little weird that her husband can't put his own child to sleep but one of my friends husbands is like that. I actually see her a lot less since she had her kid because how he acts as a father makes my blood boil (she had to hire a babysitter to go to a concert even though her husband was home because it isn't his job to watch the kid). It doesn't seem to phase my friend and she is fine with it, but it still really bothers me.

I guess if your sisters relationship is similar I can understand her leaving. I would just be supportive, I'm sure she wants to be at the wedding but her child is her first responsibility. I would just make sure all pictures/speeches/etc that she needs to be there for happen before she needs to leave. After that point, just focus on the people that are there and have a great day.

Thank you for your input! I know you are right and that is the best way to handle the situation. It’s so surprising that people are okay with having husbands that don’t care for their children!

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Valerie, you give great advice here. I'd probably be upset too, but there's not much you can do. I wouldn't say anything to her, as Valerie said, just make sure the things she is needed for are done before 7, and then focus on all the people still there to celebrate you

I don’t know how old the baby is, or if your sister breastfeeds, but if she is nursing, it may be the only way be baby can fall asleep? Babies are pretty particular and if the baby’s regular routine is having mom with them, it might be a nightmare to try and get dad to do it... it’s disapointing she will have to miss some of the party, but I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time still! ❤️

If your reception is at the hotel, I don’t see why she couldn’t put the baby to bed and then come back down for a couple hours. Maybe her husband will be drinking and they had a discussion about it? Either way, she will be there for the toast and dinner. After that, you’ll be dancing the night away and not pay much attention to her anyway.

I think it is new mommy mervrs. I work in child care it is normal. Plus a feeling that she needs to do it to be a good mom. Also someone did mention about breast feeding. Again this is just a guess.

I'd probably be pretty bummed but I'm not sure there's anything you can do. I'd say it's not worth having a big fight with her over.

I have a twin sister that I am extremely close to, so I definitely understand and I would be upset by this. My sister has been by my side through every single life event and I can't imagine my reception without her being there for the whole thing. Is there any way she could get the baby down to sleep and then have a babysitter/friend/family member stay with the sleeping baby while she rejoins the reception?

I don't understand why you would be upset. Having a baby is a huge undertaking. Your sister is probably sleep-deprived and overwhelmed especially if she is not getting much help from the father. There is nothing you need her for once dinner is over and you'll most likely be so busy having fun and visiting with your guests you won't even notice when she leaves. As far as not being involved in your planning or shower, neither are her obligation. Your FH is the only one required to help you plan and anyone can plan your shower. I think this is where you need to be a sister first and bride second.

First off, your twin sounds like a great mom! She is leaving an event that means the world to her!
Don't be upset. Be happy and proud that your twin is dividing her time with two of the most special people in her life, you and her child!
First babies a new mom feels that she is the ONLY one who can do things right with her baby.
I understand your disappointment in not having her there the entire time. I would be too, but considering the reason it's understandable.
Enjoy your day and be happy and blessed you have her at least some of the day!!😍

Thank you for everyone’s input! The baby is young just under a year old. I specially included him in the wedding per her request which I’m sure will be adorable. She does breastfeed but she pumped extra milk and the baby can go down with a bottle. Other people (myself, my mother, my father and my sister) often put the baby down to sleep and she has had a baby sitter put him down on numerous occasions. Just to clarify, I was not mad or upset that she didn’t plan my shower. Nor did I mean that it was “her responsibility”. My identical twin sister and I are very close and have been our entire lives. We’ve dreamed of our weddings since we were kids. She asked me to specially throw my wedding bouquet at her during the reception, but she will unfeltauntely be missing that. I am very sad at the thought but I did not cause any issues and I did tell her that it was her decision and she could leave when she wants to. I’m hoping she will stay and that the baby’s father will take him, but that will be up to them.

I think she may also be hoping that my mother takes the baby and heads back early so that way she doesn’t have to. But we will see how it plays out!