Maid of Honor Back Out.. End of Friendship?

This sounds very odd. If you guys are this close, and friends of 15 years, I cannot imagine that there is not a deeper meaning behind this.

I would call her ASAP and express concern and ask her what is going on? I don't think anyone owes anyone an explanation, but being friends for this long I would find it very odd if she doesn't want to tell you what's happening.

I feel like she's definitely upset by something you have done (unintentionally) or she is going through something serious. Either way, I think you should 100% put yourself out there for her and push the envelope a little bit. Make it clear that this is bigger than her presence in your wedding and that you're genuinely worried and love her. Good luck OP, this makes me sad!

Oh man this stinks, I am sorry you are going this. It sounds like your friend has a lot of stuff going on that she is not quite ready to share. I'd send a nice thinking of you note to let her know you love her and are there for her when she needs you and then give her some space. Hopefully she ll come to you and you can move forward together. Sometimes I have to remind myself not every friendship is meant to last forever and take the lessons and memories and just be grateful for the time I had with that person. Sending you a big hug and hope your friend is ok. Best of luck to you!

Oh that's tough! I'm sorry this is happening! My suggestion would be to treat this as a friend problem and not a wedding problem. For now, leave the wedding out of things and be there for your friend. Maybe send flowers? Ask to treat her to lunch?

Definitely sounds like a tough spot to be in. To me, it seems like whatever health thing she was/ is going thought is a pretty big deal but she isn't ready to talk about it just yet, so maybe just leave the door open for her to reach out when she is ready. I think the ideas of sending her flowers (or doughnuts, candy, whatever her "thing" is) and a "thinking of you" card is a good idea.

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I think this is great advice.

You can reach out as a friend but leave everything wedding related out of it. It sounds like it’s about HER health, and not YOUR wedding so I’d try to keep conversations as supportive as possible even though you’re hurting about her having to back out. Good luck and hope she’s okay!

I actually had a similar situation. My friend pulled away, not super responsive. During that time, I didn’t press and I stayed supportive. Yes, it sucked bc I thought she was ignoring me. But, 6 months later, we finally talked and it turns out she was going through a lot.


Sometimes people need to pull away and need space to process whatever it is that they’re going through. If you have been friends a long time, I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt. If you think she’s upset with you, maybe call her to chat or go out to lunch.

Without even knowing what's going on it's hard to imagine that it's the end of a 15 year friendship. To me, it sounds like she's in a bad place. My first concern would be for her. Yes, I'd reach out again and let her know that whatever is going on, you are there for her.

Thank you all for your replies. They haven't been ignoring, I just needed time to evaluate the situation.

I have a pretty good idea of what the health issues are. I did reach out making sure to mention I'm here if she needs to talk or go on a walk and have received no response.
She has done something like this in the past with her sisters.. cut them off cold turkey. I empathize with what she may be going through and hope she is getting the help she needs.

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Sometimes people sort of isolate themselves in difficult times instead of reaching out to family and friends. It sounds like her response is toward isolation. Hoping the best for you and your friend.