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Amber
Dedicated July 2014

Maid of Honor controversy

Amber, on January 4, 2022 at 11:28 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
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My best friend just got engaged. I am so ready to be the maid of honor it’s not even funny and she’s indicated on several occasions that’s what she wants, but hasn’t officially asked me yet. Problem: we have another very close friend that thinks the bride should forego the whole wedding party so that she won’t have to choose between us. Obviously it’s up to the bride, but I’m so afraid my bestie is going to skip the maid of honor altogether to avoid hurt feelings. I know that’s not what she wants and it’s really not what I want. Any advice I can give her?

4 Comments

Latest activity by Maggie, on January 4, 2022 at 1:01 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    I wouldn't try to sway her opinion one way or another, and I would also encourage the other close friend to not try to sway the bride either. The bride gets to make the decision by herself and what she envisions for her wedding. Her friends do not get to decide her wedding party for her. The best advice you can offer the bride is to tell her to take the time to consider what SHE wants most, not what everyone else wants. And then once she makes her decision, be as supportive of her as possible - even if her choice doesn't align with what you hope she chooses. As a side note, if she mentions that she's having trouble picking just one MOH, she could choose more than one person to be co-MOHs.

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  • Jessica
    Dedicated July 2022
    Jessica ·
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    It sounds like in the end, you care for your friend and really want to help her enjoy the process of getting married. As you mentioned, it’s ultimately up to her and she genuinely might be feeling pressure to honor both friendships. If you do share how you feel, know she may still choose to not move forward with a bridal party. Regardless if you have an official title of MOH, I’m sure she will value the ways you’d want to support her along the way ❤️
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  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    In the end it’s the bride’s decision. Also no one should be asked before 6 months before the wedding because relationships and people change over time. Don’t say anything to her but do let your mutual friend know to not say anything as that is inappropriate for her as well. Be there to support her no matter what she decides.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I'm not a fan of unsolicited advice except in cases of, like, dire emergency. This not being an emergency, I would recommend you stand down and wait until she either makes her announcement or asks you for advice.

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