Maid of Honor Help!

My MOH (I'm calling her my Best Woman, haha) is fully across the country from me! Your decision to not have her as a MOH because of state lines is of course fine if that what's you want, but I can't see what duties there are that would be so negatively impacted by location that she couldn't do them. As long as she can come to the wedding--& probably the rehearsal as well--those are probably the most important things!

To answer your exact issue though, it seems like you haven't asked them officially yet. Use that opportunity to clarify everyones "roles." You could also consider having two MOHs, or none!

Is it possible that you could have just bridesmaids without someone titled Moh?

If she is the closest person to you in the bridal party then she should be Moh. Anyone can throw you a party. These titles are honorary, denoting a special place in your life.

Every single member of our bridal party lives out of state. I’ve also been in weddings where most of the bridal party lives out of state, including the MOH. It’s not a problem, really. Choose them based on the significance in your life. You’ll be glad you did in the end.

I couldn't imagine telling the closest female in my life that she can't be the MOH simply because she's not local. In fact, all of my bridesmaids lived in different cities! Choose based on the relationship and not based on the "duties." Her only "duty" is to support you and show up in the attire you specify. Everything else is optional

She can still be your MOH. I am not sure what "duties" you are requiring her to do, but there is nothing that can be done in one state that can't be done in another. I did not require my bridal party to do things for me, so this wasn't an issue. But I assume if there is something you need help with that your MOH cannot help with, another bridesmaid would be willing to help you.

I was a MOH to my out of state best friend. What we did was i planned a lot of the things through her mother since I didn’t know what was around the area, like her bridal shower. Her mother rented the hall, another girl in the bridal party got cupcakes from a local bakery, her family are huge cooks so they all made a dish and coordinated for food, and I came with some prizes for games and set up and decorated everything. Anything I couldn’t do others were more than willing to help, that’s why you have multiple bridesmaids! So if you truly do want her to be your MOH, I’d say go for it and just talk to the other girls/your mom to see if they’d be willing to take on a little more planning to cover the areas she may not be able to do.

There should be no “duties” expected of your MOH, other than wearing the dress you choose and standing with you on the day of your wedding. If you are speaking of things like bachelorette parties, showers, etc. those are not things that your maid of honor “should” do and they are not things that you should expect her to do. Sometimes MOHs do choose to throw parties, etc. for the bride. And that’s awesome! But it should never be expected of them. Therefore, there is zero reason for you to demote your closest friend from MOH. If there are things you need help with, simply ask a bridesmaid (or family member or friend) who is local to help you. Also, there is nothing that says you cannot have 2 MOHs - it is actually more common than you think! So, if you feel for some reason that you need a different MOH, do not demote your closest friend just because she is out of state. Just promote another bridesmaid to that title.

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I second this.

In addition to Chrysta's comments; have you actually spoken to your friend? Other than the fact that she is not obliged to have any 'duties', have you spoken to her to see how she would feel about being in the bridal party and living interstate? If she has no issue with it, neither should you.

When my sister got married her MOH was in the military and wasn't able to fully fulfill her "duties". As long as she made it to the rehearsal and wedding it wasn't an issue. I think as long as she can make it to both and you want her as your MOH you should let her. She obviously has a huge interest in trying to help even from a far.