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Just Said Yes June 2022

Maid of Honor Help!

Kristen, on June 17, 2021 at 8:48 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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Hi there!


So here is my predicament - I am getting married next June and I always thought my college roommate/best friend would be my maid of honor. We have even discussed this before, so she definitely thinks that she is going to be my maid of honor. I have a younger sister who is 7 years (almost 8 years) younger than me, and so I always thought I would make her a bridesmaid since she was younger and I felt like maid of honor was a better role for my friend (this was hypothetical talk, before I was actually engaged).
Well now, I’m thinking I want my sister to be my maid of honor. She’s 17 now and we’ve grown much closer. Although my college roommate is still one of my closest friends, we don’t talk as much as we once did because of distance and jobs (life). I also have come to realize a maid of honor doesnt need to be the person who helps plan everything, that can be the bridesmaids in general.
I don’t want to hurt my friends feelings or let her down by not choosing her, but I also think it would be really special to have my sister, even though she is younger. What do you all think? Have you had a similar situation? Thank you in advance for your feedback!

10 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on June 18, 2021 at 5:25 PM
  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    Have 2 MOHs! It’s become super common to have co-MOHs, so no need to have to choose between 2 special people in your life Smiley smile
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Have whoever you want. I don't have a sister, but I always thought my middle/high school best friend would be my MOH. When I got engaged, I realized I was so much closer to a friend I met in college. My other friend was still a bridesmaid, but...relationships change over time. A discussion you had x number of years ago isn't a contract. Go with whoever you want. As Ava suggested, another option is having 2 MOHs.
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  • Lydia
    Just Said Yes August 2024
    Lydia ·
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    I know what your going through. I choosed my sister because she was always there for me. No matter what struggle I was going through, she would always check up on me. I totally understand about your best friend on why you would want to choose her as well because you’ve been knowing her and have been talking to her more about your fantasy wedding. Looking at it now, friends do come and go. My best friend and I aren’t close the way we used to be, but my sister has replaced her. In my opinion I say your sister because your best friend might not be around like she used to be before and might not understand what your going through. Your sister will forever be your family no matter what and as for your friend, she could drop you anytime. But I’m not forcing you to choose your sister or saying anything bad about your friend. Choose wisely and I hope you make a great decision. Good luck with the planning…..xoxo
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  • Corrin
    Dedicated October 2021
    Corrin ·
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    I was actually on the other end of this.

    My friend and I had talked a lot about how we would be each other's maids of honor for years. When she actually got engaged though she talked to me about how she didn't want to hurt my feelings but had been thinking a lot about her relationship with her brother and thought him being the man of honor would be really special.

    I was super bummed for a little bit, but that's about it. We're friends, and titles really shouldn't matter. If you don't want to have 2 MOHs then just talk to your friend and emphasize that you don't want to disappoint her but it would mean a lot to you to have your brother up there. She's your friend and should support you even if she's bummed! I will say that it also helped that she told me pretty early into her engagement so I wasn't just assuming the whole time haha. Good luckSmiley heart

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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
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    You can have two maid of honors, its not uncommon. Anyways its just a title and another thing that causes drama and unnecessary hurt feelings and anxiety

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  • S
    Super September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    I agree with what everyone else said. I had a similar situation to Hanna. Growing up I always thought one of my childhood/high school friends would be my MOH. But once I got engaged I was much closer to my college friend/roommate so I chose her. I still had my childhood best friend as a bridesmaid. If you want 2 MOH's then you can have them both, one of my friends did that. But you shouldn't feel bad because relationships always change.

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Plenty of people have 2 MOHs!

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    You could definitely have 2 MOHs, or just talk to your friend and explain why you've changed your mind. If you're good enough friends she will understand.

    I did want to mention though, it may be harder for a 17 year old to plan a bachelorette party, so you may need to ask the other bridesmaids to help her out some. It all depends on her personality and what you're expecting from a MOH.

    I'm a BM in a wedding later on this year and the bride asked her 21 year old sister to be her MOH. The sister currently cares more about partying and her own social life than trying to help with wedding planning (which is perfectly fine, but not what the bride expected from her MOH.) Us BMs have been scrambling to make up for it and trying to calm down the bride who has been furious at her sister this whole time.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Just have 2. Also, your MOH and bridesmaids are not required to plan anything -so just keep that in mind.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2022
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you! It’s really nice to hear it from the other end! I have felt so torn about this, but it’s nothing personal to her. She is my best friend, relationships just change and I think I would regret not having my sister as my maid of honor.


    We have only been engaged a few weeks and I have next to nothing planned, I am going to talk to her tomorrow! Thank you again.
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