Maid of honor trouble

Once you've asked someone to be in a position in your bridal party, you can't demote them. I'm not sure what the protocol would be if you'd like to promote your bestie to MoH so you have two MoHs, however.

It is a little late to make this decision because you have already asked your sister and it is rude to take that away now. Why would you have asked someone you're not close to to be your MOH? Anyway your stuck unless you want to permanently damage the relationship but good luck.

I'm sorry, but if your determining factor for someone to be your MOH is the amount of work *they* do for *your* wedding, then I find that to be morally wrong.

ETA: You already asked your sister. Goodness! All she has to do is buy her dress and stand beside you. This is a title of honor, not a job.

It's "Maid of HONOR" not "Maid Who Did The Most Work."

You chose to HONOR your sister, stick to it and plan your own wedding.

I asked because she's my sister and my parents were pushy on it. She demoted me at her wedding and had our cousin do it. I'm just torn.

Your bridal party isn't required to do shit for you other than buy a dress and stand next to you.

You need to reevaluate. You already asked her. Suck it up.

OP, the decision is up to you but it will have lasting affects on your relationship with your sister. How did you feel when she demoted you? I'm guessing it kind of sucked hence part of the reason you two are not very close. Regardless, the only responsibility of you MOH and BM's is to show up in a dress that you picked, anything else is from the kindness of their own hearts and absolutely not necessary. It is rude to rank your family and friends by what they can do for you.

Ashley, just because someone else did it, doesn't make it right!

You also asked your BP too early...

Just remember how u felt when she did that to you. I wouldn't return the favor.

You have two options:

1) Keep your sister as your MOH and carry on.

2) Make your friend a MOH, too; although, at this point, she'll suspect she's a "on second thought" decision. And then, carry on.

Just because someone was rude to you does not mean you should be rude to her.

Be the bigger person.

I don't think you have to demote or promote anyone to any title. Your friend is helping because she wants to- not because she has to. Your sister isn't because she doesn't want to. The title is meaningless at the end of the day. What matters is you get married and it looks nice. You can thank your friend with words or gifts. Not a title

I agree with @Ashley B, basically two wrongs don't make a right! Suck it up and keep her. And your BM/MOH are NOT your slaves. They only need to buy a dress and show up.

Why don't you just add your best friend and don't demote your sister so you have two? You have maids of honor because you feel closest to them and want them by your side, not who does the most stuff for you.

You can just have two. I got really inclined to promote one of my friends. My situation is totally different. MOH lives 5 hours away and works 2 jobs, and hasn't been very involved(but I'm absolutely not upset about it, I understand where she is in life.) My other bestie, lives here, took me to my first bridal show, interviewed venues with me, has sent me suggestions and inspiration. I promoted her to Co-MOH, explained to both of them WHY I am having both of them, and how much I love them both. Less stress, no hurt feelings, no rude demotions, and we're all happy. Your MOH is absolutely not required to do anything for you. But it is nice to have a MOH who loves you and has your back. If your bestie is that for you, I don't see anything wrong with promoting her, and having them both as your MOH. Maybe your friend can even encourage her to be more excited and involved in things. I'm sure a part of her only feels like you asked her because you're sisters, and not because you actually want her. Maybe she needs to feel more included too.

I'm not making anyone a slave. My sister doesn't give a shit about anyone else but herself. Even the day I got my wedding dress she wanted me to schedule it and reschedule it around what worked best for her. We have never been close and had a huge falling out before her wedding. She only speaks to me when she wants something from me. Shouldn't my MOH be supportive? Not negative about it all.

Sorry, but you should've thought about that before you asked her.

Knowing all that going into the situation shouldn't you have asked someone else?

No one cares about your wedding as much as you do. My sister is a bridesmaid and hasn't asked me anything at all about planning, and I am fine with that. I have some friends who ask all the time how they can help, and I don't take them up on it because it's not their job.

It's honestly not a big deal to be a maid of honor vs. bridesmaid.

I wanted to ask someone else. But I thought everyone always asked their sister. Knowing what I know now, I wish I wouldn't have. Sorry I'm not a wedding expert. I don't know how soon is too soon to ask, or how any of that shit works.