Maid of Honor?

My relationship with my MOH was perfect before, during and after wedding planning! A lot of that may have been due to the fact I am a super laid back bride too. I didn’t ask my wedding party to do anything to help planning, and I let them all pick out their own attire. She never tried to dictate things. She offered to help many times, but I wouldn’t let her do anything- I just wanted to honor her in the role; nothing else.

I have only 2 bridesmaids so I made them both MOH (one matron other maid)


My right hand woman, (Matron now woooo) is my BFF. She's never gotten on my nerves, maybe like 2x in our entire friendship, not bad considering we were emo teens together. 😂
My other MOH is a friend I met through my husband to be, there's only been a few instances she's gotten on my nerves but that's more so me and some processing issues.
I think they got annoyed with me since I couldn't decide on if I wanted a bachelorette or a combined Bach party. They also kept asking me about dress colors because I'm so undecided. Thankfully they have both planned a wedding and gotten married so they help me learn from their mistakes.

Is there something going on with your MOH? And is it your sister? I feel like sisters want to make the day perfect for you and can come off a little over bearing at time.

View Quoted Comment I’m trying to figure out if it’s just me 😭😭 at this point. The person who I’ve chosen to be my maid of honor isn’t my blood sister but she’s my sister from being in a sorority and her and I are really close but sometimes she can be very bossy just in general and I am praying I don’t see that when it comes to helping me with my wedding.


And also sometimes if she has a lot going on she can be short and I don’t want that either. I just want someone who the job won’t be too much for.

View Quoted Comment Hmm, is there something you want her to do?
She sounds like she might have a type A personality. Does she strike you as someone who would want to be in Charge of events and control the timeline? I don't mean for the wedding necessarily just in general/in the past. Being in a sorority aside is is someone you would want to be friends with if you weren't "forced" to be friendly to start with?

I assume you've already asked and she accepted the MOH role. If there is something like plan the bach or plan a shower (technically they should suggest it not you but that's old school etiquette) I would just tell her. "This is what I would like from my MOH leading up to the wedding" list out all your "demands" and see if she's okay with it.

I think having a bossy MOH Isn't a bad thing especially if you yourself are a people pleaser and more laid back It's nice to have someone in your corner ready to fight for you when needed.

View Quoted Comment Yes I definitely would, it just sometimes the bossy stuff has me like side eyeing.
I haven’t asked her yet I was going to very very soon, but because of how close we are she already know that it’s coming but I do agree on me somehow setting the standards and saying “hey this is what I’d like to see from my MOH”

Unless it’s to tell her you have few expectations, telling her what you want to see from her would be way over the top. Her only obligation is to wear a dress in consultation with you for budget etc, to help out on the wedding day, think bustle, flowers, bringing her a drink or snack while getting ready, help in the ladies room, showing up for rehearsal and photos, and participating in the ceremony as a show of love and support.

Keep in mind you and FI or your vendors are responsible for anything else. Anything she offers on her own is optional and voluntary, as well as planned according to her preferences, budget and means. If you don’t like or approve of what she has in mind, you don’t have to accept.

I can’t relate to an annoying or controlling MOH, because I would not choose that kind of person as a best friend to start. If you have those kind of concerns I’d reconsider asking before I’d give her a talk on how I expect she’ll behave.

View Quoted Comment That’s a very good point. I agree with everything you said thank you so much for that piece of advice.