Make wedding size smaller

I mean, you can do what you want, but prepare to lose friendships over this. My husband and I were "cut" in this way from a wedding (received a save the date but then did not receive an invitation because the couple decided to downsize) and we no longer speak to the couple in question. Our whole friend group actually cut them off because they thought it was so horrifyingly rude. A save the date is binding because you're asking couples to literally reserve that date to attend your wedding.

As far as elopement 75 is definitely too many. We eloped it was only us and 2 witnesses. That's what elopement is as the previous people said. I read all the comments and no one mentioned this which is also extremely important considering you are actually inviting less than half of the people you sent a save the date to 200 down to 75. I would hope that the 75 that was invited doesn't know the other 125 that you didn't. Talk about a set of reactions that will definitely would be a huge disaster of hurt feelings if one of the invited calls up the one that wasn't and tell them about your wedding and how great of a time they had and the other person responded they wasn't invited. Just my opinion. We eloped in May 2021 used covid as a excuse which everyone was fine with and respected. However now I don't know if that would be a option. Good luck hope things work out for you.

A save the date requires an invitation be sent afterwards. There is no polite way to avoid that. If you decide to cut the guest list, what you do is send cancellation notices to the entire guest list and start from scratch with a new list that are your ride or die people. This was specifically addressed at the beginning of Covid in 2020 by Miss Manners when couples were asking how to navigate the etiquette of cutting a guest list.


Also, an elopement is you, your fiancé, the officiant and however many legal witnesses as required by the state you are marrying in. Anywhere from 1-infinity guests over that count is a wedding, not an elopement. Essentially all elopements are weddings but not all weddings are elopements.