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Beginner August 2021

Man of honor bailed!

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Danielle, on June 6, 2021 at 9:47 AM

Hi everyone!! So get ready for a wild ride with this story

My fiancé and I got engaged almost 3 years ago. We postponed our wedding until this August because of Covid. During the holiday season right after we got engaged, I asked my best friend of 10 years to be my “man of honor”. My fiancé and I decided to just have a best man and a man of honor, since I don’t have many female friends. Well skip ahead to 2021, May specifically, and I sent around dates for the bachelorette party, and my man of honor can’t make any of the dates. He also can’t plan the party, and has very limited time to do any of the typical duties that a man/maid of honor would do. Now, I’ve had a tumultuous year and completely understand having a ton of stuff going on. But his reasoning through me off. He made plans for 3 festivals this summer and is gone most every weekend to build a nudist camp (I can’t even make this up). Am I wrong to be annoyed that he knew the wedding is this summer but still made plans for almost every week leading up to it? Or am I just being a bridezilla?
Anyway, planning the bachelorette and wedding shower has made me realize how lonely it is, and I’m not going to lie, I’ve felt like a loser for not having many female friends to help out. Has anyone else experienced this while wedding planning? I can’t be the only one without many female friends!

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25 Comments

Expert September 2022
Courtney · on June 7, 2021 at 2:29 PM
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I mean, I get this. I'm not having a wedding party at all because I'm just not close enough to anyone to justify it.
However, people have different priorities. Maybe your MOH doesn't want to participate in the Bach party because it's something usually reserved all for females and he feels awkward about it? The festivals could be things he usually goes to regularly and with everything that happened the past year he's not willing to miss them because who knows what will happen anymore.
Your friend sounds like a free spirit, and he wants to prioritize things that he'll truly enjoy. Yea it's kind of a bummer that your best friend can't carve time out to go party with you this time, but as long as he makes it to the wedding and is still a good friend between now and August I think it's unfair to hold this against him.
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Devoted June 2026
Kaylee · on June 9, 2021 at 12:22 PM
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I don’t have many female friends either but I’ve known from the beginning how little men want to do with wedding planning. Due to that, I’ve planned to try and get closer with some of the female friends I do have. I promise you’re not alone in the struggle!
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Devoted August 2020
Valerie · on June 10, 2021 at 4:19 PM
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Sorry this is happened to you :/ Our best man/ brother of the groom was MIA during hubby’s planning on his bachelor party and when hubby took matters into his own hands and came to him asking if he’d help put down deposits for stuff he offered to help cover before all of a sudden he “didn’t feel comfortable doing that.” Our best man is a joke of a best man. Sometimes you gotta take matters into your own hands. I can’t relate about not having female friends when that literally seems like all I have. I have 8 bridesmaids but only 3 of them have been involved and offered to help. No one else really cares because it’s not their day. Just do what you can and don’t stress about it too much if you can help it.
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Beginner August 2021
Danielle · on June 10, 2021 at 4:59 PM
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Thanks for the advice! I did end up planning what I hope will be a lovely day out for my bachelorette, and even thought the few girls that I invited are still undecided, I’m still going to enjoy the day and have fun!
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Devoted August 2020
Valerie · on June 12, 2021 at 10:43 AM
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I think most brides or grooms are let down one way or another while planning their big day. Try to focus on the positive and what you can control. Reality is it’s your big day but for others it’s not something they are spending thousands on or have been planning their whole lives. Go with the flow.
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