Mandatory marriage counseling

@EM who said I needed help with communication or improving my relationship?

I'm sorry, but you are being ridiculous. If your communication is already great, what do you have against demonstrating that. And if it's not...well, then that's something to find out now rather than later. There is literally no downside.

Good luck with your perfect relationship!

I have humility in my relationship and realize that I am a human being with faults, who seeks ANY opportunity to be a better partner with my husband. I would never presume that I know everything, or assert that I have nothing left to learn.

Clearly the idea of going to counseling is threatening to you and your relationship (based entirely on how defensive you are being), but I guess that's your business, not mine.

ETA I just saw your response to me, and honestly, the fact that you are a human indicates you and your FH might need help with communication. See my comment above.

Best of luck to you.

Whoa, you are coming off as super defensive in your comments OP. I'm a big believer that one will always have something to work on in their relationship. That doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy by any means, but I really think there is always something to make it even better, My church requires premarital classes, so we will be doing that. Our state gives a discount on your marriage licence if you have proof of premarital class, so clearly other people see the importance of it too.

People who think they have nothing to learn are often by how much they learn in counselling of any sort.

Everyone can always learn how to communicate better. No one, or couple, is perfect.

Agreed with StPaulGirl. No one is saying you need help with communication. You asked a question and many posters are offering an anecdote. But if you are good at communicating, what is the harm in this? The marriage counseling thing is not to judge you or to tell you you're doing something wrong. It is meant to strengthen communication. I hardly doubt it would hurt. And i agree- if communicating with your spouse differently would hurt your relationship, I think you need to rethink getting married.

April, you obviously have never been through effective counseling if you're asking me that.

Do you know your fighting styles? Are you able to identify your conflict patterns and stop them in their tracks? Do you know if you are a pursuer/withdrawer and what your FS would be in the same situation? Are you aware of how your emotions influence your fighting style and communication patterns? One session, yes ONE, can make a huge difference.

Pick up a book at your library about emotionally focused therapy and then tell me I'm wrong.

I'm done with this thread, rereading OP's comments makes it completely obvious she thinks she knows everything and we will be talking to a wall. Since I don't have an ice dragon to break that wall down with, I'm not wasting my time on this thread

Our officiant is counseling us..

Yes we are doing at least 40 hours of counseling before our wedding on October 21st 2017 God's Will!

What was the purpose of this thread? It seems like you are really challenging those who support counseling. This is a forum where people ask questions and others share their ideas. If you're not open to it then you can read biased articles that support your pre existing opinion because no one here is going to agree with you just to make you feel better.

We don't have to, but I think it would be a great idea to do.

Don't knock it until you try it. Counseling isn't only for "problems", and can actually help strengthen your relationship. I'd recommend it.

I have heard of it before. But me and FH are not doing it. When he talked to the officiant he was trying add the class future FH told him something I can't remember sorry. His childhood friend got married some months ago and ended up paying a lot of money for an officiant.

We have to go to counseling. No big deal .

@at Nikol nice way of spelling your name. My sis spells hers nickol. Our views are simply different and we both agree. I'm a LPC I am aware of the benefits.

@spaghetti or whatever your name is I never asked anyone to agree with me, but most of you shamed me for being against it. Read my initial post again. I asked if anyone else HAD TO complete counseling. I didn't need anyone to mock my decision. I'm not calling anyone an idiot for "getting to know" FH before accepting marriage proposal.

Huh?

April the fact that you used the diminutive "darling" to another poster means that mayyyyybe you do have things in communication to improve upon. Have you discussed abortion/ first trimester testing for pregnancy/money/ family/ 5 year plan/ 10 year plan/ retirement goals? If not, that's where the counselling comes in. Your responses literally shows me how much you don't know about this subject.

Yep that's exactly what she means. Clearly she has no personal issues whatsoever....