Mandatory marriage counseling

Our "counseling" wasn't so much about improving communication or really counseling at all. We only had to meet with our officiant as a way for them to get to know us to really personalize our ceremony. I think that some officiants just want to make sure that what they say is a good fit for peoples personalities. I would ask whatever officiant you are talking to about what the counseling would include and if they are qualified to do so. As a counselor myself I'm extremely picky about people who claim to know what they are doing.

Also its really your decision. If you don't want counseling, the officiant can't force it. But you may just have to find someone that is willing to do it without that kind of counseling.

You do you! Its your wedding and your life. Don't let anyone tell you how things need to be! I hope you find a wonderful officiant who can help make your day a little more special!

Is this your first time on the internet?

The only reason I can think of that someone is so adamant, and gets so defensive about why they don't need counseling when they think their relationship is "almost" perfect is because there is something you don't want coming out in a session.

You don't have to worry about dealing with the demon as long as you keep it locked up.....

Still appalled....

I would ditch that officiant. I think it is judgy unless it is something you wanted anyway, which is cool. I think people should have it together before they get engagement and some random officiant shouldn't force counseling. Suggesting it is one thing, but requiring it...no way unless that is expected (e.g.; catholic)

@megan my thoughts exactly. Definitely ditched!!!

FH made it mandatory lol

Oh yeah gymrat I have tons of secrets that I would rather discuss with an officiant instead of my FH.

Yes, your life is unicorns and rainbows. Can I have whatever you're smoking/drinking/partaking in? My four year old had a meltdown this morning because his bagel was too "crunchy", but you know, your children will be perfect and never have meltdowns...

@Christy Yes, but they don't have to use that officiant. There are so many people who officiate weddings that there are plenty who don't require it. So they can just choose a different person.

U should be coolkat, but why? All because I don't agree with YOU? The joys of choice!!

We did. We go to a non denominational church, and pre marital counseling through the church was a pre requisite in order for us to have one of the church's ministers or reverends officiate our wedding. It went well, and I'm glad we did it. Our ceremony won't be held at the church though.

No, April. That's not what I was getting at - you missed my point.

Color me surprised.

Jessie sure is, that's issues you and ur 4 yr old should discuss in counseling. You're the one hiding behind unicorns and rainbows, what do you really look like?

LOL, @Gymmie, I think the point is out in left field and someone is playing a completely different sport.

To be honest, you might be surprised about how much you enjoy marriage counseling. If you dont want to do it, then you might have to go through a non-religious person.

I think its a great option.

What is this hot mess of a thread? I don't think I've ever seen a poster get so defensive so quickly about such a benign topic.

I find it strange that a non-religious officiant requires premarital counseling, but normal and expected that a religious officiant does.

Besides that, I'm on team "GO TO COUNSELING". Not just premarital, but in your everyday life. Just a check in every few months, or twice a year, the same as a dentist, can really do a lot to improve your quality of life. Even if you think your life is perfect, it is really good to have a chance to reflect on that perfection with a neutral party.

@rachel I'm with you all the way!

I look like a unicorn farting rainbows! Why do you ask? Dude, it's the internet. I'm not hiding, I'm being fucking smart. I could easily find your home address and phone number by doing a reverse image search of your profile pic.