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The Bride
Master March 2019

Maritial Non-negotiables

The Bride, on June 16, 2019 at 10:12 AM

Posted in Married Life 103

Marriage is all about compromise but to truly be happy in a relationship you have to have some non-negotiables. Mine was that my husband and I share the same religious beliefs. It was important that we could help one another stay strong in our faith. In addition, when thinking into the future I...
Marriage is all about compromise but to truly be happy in a relationship you have to have some non-negotiables. Mine was that my husband and I share the same religious beliefs. It was important that we could help one another stay strong in our faith. In addition, when thinking into the future I didn't want to have the argument about how we would raise out kids and having the same religious beliefs lessened the chances of that. My husband's non-negotiable was mutual respect. He'd been in a few relationships where he felt like he didn't receive the respect that he deserved so going into our relationship and then into marriage he wanted to build a solid foundation on respect.

What are your marital non-negotiables?

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103 Comments

  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I am in total agree on the homeownership piece, I want to have something tangible to pass down to our children.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    I hate to say it but as someone who does not have kids, it was really important for my husband to also not have kids. I want us to be first-time parents together.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    I love this comment. Smiley heart

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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    Ha. I read that a few times before I realized you meant infertility. I was a little worried about what I had posted lol. No. We currently have no plans to adopt. We aren't necessarily opposed. But children are not important to either of us. We joke that if we ever get sick of doing whatever we want, whenever we want, and saving money, we will then consider adoption.
    For now, we only plan on 4 legged, fuzzy children.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    Lol, sorry about the typo. Thank you for clarifying. I want a fur baby!!!!

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  • Kelsy
    Dedicated October 2019
    Kelsy ·
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    Mines was the same outlook on the type of future we were trying to have, and he doesn’t have any.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    That's so interesting that he doesn't have any. He doesn't care about your religious views, political associations, number of children you two want, infidelity, or anything?

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  • Kelsy
    Dedicated October 2019
    Kelsy ·
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    We agree on a lot we have the same views on a lot of things, we have two children a boy and a girl we agreed they were just enough, our religious views are the same we just call it something different, we don’t do politics. He tells me anything with him is negotiable Because he knows I wouldn’t steer him wrong
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  • Kelsy
    Dedicated October 2019
    Kelsy ·
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    Oh except other men, that’s his only one
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  • Diana
    VIP December 2019
    Diana ·
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    We both agreed to keep our own religion. He’s Catholic I’m Baptist. We don’t force or try to change that about each other. But we do equally share going to each other’s church. Also I have four children, YES you read the correct!! I asked him to be a male role model instead of trying to be a father figure. We’ll the kiddos look to him as a father figure, on their own by the way. We talk about EVERYTHING!! There are absolutely NO secret in our relationship. His family is amazed about how much we know about each other!! We have our money put together and we don’t point fingers to who brings what home. Such as his $100 plus my $100 equals our $200. We don’t care who brings what home, because it becomes ours. I could go on and on. These are just a few...
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    Most men's non-negotiable is infidelity.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    You bring up such excellent points. I love the no secrets aspect.

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  • Diana
    VIP December 2019
    Diana ·
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    A couple of years ago, my work family had a very devastating event. Which lead me to sit down with my hubby to be and have a heart to heart talk!! We both expressed the what if’s, the kind that most people don’t want to have but should!! That’s why we have the no secret and each one of us know everything about the finance and where everything is located. Just in case if the what if’s.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    It's better to have all of your cards out on the table, that way you can be fully accepted and have all your ducks in a row in the event of an emergency.

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  • Dedicated May 0021
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    Having the same religious beliefs (Christianity) was very important to both of us
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
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    Is that your only non-negotiable or just the most important one?

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  • Diana
    VIP December 2019
    Diana ·
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    Yes exactly!!
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  • Kristen
    VIP June 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Without going too far into details that I don’t like taking about, I have been sexually abused by multiple people including family members and exes. I have also witnessed how the things I mentions have been negative factors in past relationships of mine. One of the first times I hung out with FH when we were first friends he had a sticker on his laptop from Fight the New Drug that said “Porn Kills Love” and although I didn’t ask him about it immediately, the topic came up in a discussion later on. He has always just seen viewing pornography or going to strip clubs as immoral because he believes any sexual acts should only be done within committed relationships (not necessarily marriage, but a long term relationship with intent of marriage).
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  • Yoice
    VIP March 2019
    Yoice ·
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    Non-negotiable for me is communication and respecting each other. I think this tags along with sooooo many things. Trust, fiancé, religious, kids and many of the things mention here. For us we simply sit down and talk about it and we make decision or do things once we are both on the same page. Sometimes one takes longer than the other to get in the same page but we respect each other’s time and process of thinking, of deciding. I believe communication and respect is the key to a happy relationships.
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  • SraDeCarrillo
    Super August 2019
    SraDeCarrillo ·
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    You would think that a man would be proud to see his woman get ahead but my ex wanted me home with the kids. No work. No school. I think it was him wanting to control me. After we broke up I went right into nursing school and graduated at the top of my class.


    FH is all about seeing me win and its such a blessing to have him by my side to support my dreams.

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