Marriage or Mortgage?

No intentions of watching another show that creates unrealistic expectations in a fantasy alternate universe that has zero basis in reality. The wedding industry has done enough damage in telling couples what they can and can't have. There is no reason that a couple can't have both a wedding and a down payment on a house, as countless real life couples do. But they have to compromise. You can't have a lavish $50k wedding and a $1M house if both of you have modest incomes or just one income and the choices are out of your budget. But wedding tv thrives on drama so someone will try it.

Its all about priorities. Maybe a couple doesn't want a large expensive wedding but they still want the festivities with friends. That isn't choosing one over the other.

I saw the trailer for it. I chose the wedding because honestly my wedding wasn’t really enough to make a dent in a down payment and mortgage anyway ahah

I chose wedding. While I really wanted to buy a house, we rent a nice townhouse that I'm satisfied with for the time being. For us, we want to buy a house to raise a family in more than for only us two, and we wanted to get married before starting a family, so chronologically it made sense to do a wedding first. Our next goal is to save for a down payment!

My Fiance and I choose a house, it’s our main priority right now.. (currently house hunting since January) and we will be planning our wedding right after we get settled into the house, maybe doing our reception/house warming party together.

I am actually watching this right now, honestly I would always choose the house


Houses are a lifetime and as much as I want that amazing wedding I would also love to elope have a massive party and go to our honeymoon

Wedding! We already own our home!

I watched the trailer, and IMO, the couple did NOT look like they had to choose between a wedding and a mortgage. I know everyone has a unique situation, BUT their budget was literally all coming from one parent and their budget for the house was half a mil, seemed like they just wanted to be on the show and pretend they had to choose.

Now when you REALLY have to choose between a house or wedding and you are actually financially limited I think the situation of the couple really matters. We already have a home so we did not have to choose. If I did have to choose between the two, after weighing out pros and cons I may lean towards the wedding. But that depends on a lot: do you have kids, is it a good time to buy a house, do you even want to move, etc etc.

I literally just finished watching this! And posted the same thing! Here is my answer:

I choose Mortgage (twice) before Marriage. My fiance and I bought our first house after being together for 3 years. We had several discussions about getting married someday, but with apartment living we were tired of paying rent and wanted our own place. After about 2 years in our first house, we grew out of it and wanted an upgrade, plus the home value went up and we used the funds towards our next house! We are pretty content in our house now, so it was time for the next step... MARRIAGE!

We chose marriage first. Our wedding cost $16k and so at $8k for each of us it didn’t really make much of a dent toward the down payment and we saved for the wedding by doing side job specifically funding the wedding. We bought our first home about half a year after marrying. I’m glad I went this route just because it felt like I could have it all

If I were on the show, I would choose house but still get married. In my faith my FH and I can't live together before marriage, so we would be hitting the altar no matter what. But I would so value a house.

Where I live, even though weddings are RIDICULOUSLY expensive, mortgages are even more so.

I'm guessing I would hate watch this show the way I hate watch House Hunters in most of the rest of the US. (What do you MEAN that house is TOO SMALL? It's got FOUR BEDROOMS! And too expensive??? MY CONDO COSTS MORE THAN THAT. ...It's very stressful to watch House Hunters when you live near NYC.)

I already had a mortgage. My parents helped us with a modest wedding.

We chose a house a first and are now planning the wedding after 4 years of being engaged. At the time we first got engaged we already had one son together and it made more sense to purchase a house then spend the money on a wedding

View Quoted Comment Actually, the show takes the couples actual budget. If their budget is $25,000, then the wedding or the down payment is within that range. The question I asked was 'why did you choose to use the money for a wedding instead of a mortgage' if in fact that was the situation.


I think that you always mean well, but sometimes your comments can feel judgemental. This is just a fun discussion.

View Quoted Comment That makes sense. I think a lot of the couples were having the same struggle.

View Quoted Comment That does make it an easier choice 😂

View Quoted Comment I definitely agree that being settled in is a huge weight of one's shoulders. Happy you can now take another step forward!

View Quoted Comment Maybe, some were a typical 10% down. Obviously as with all shows there are little cavets. I found it a lot less flashy than other shows.
I think that was the entire premise, the choice based on life style/events.

View Quoted Comment Haha, same here in Paris! When the master bedroom is the same size as your apartment and they say it's too small...what?! But, I still prefer the benefits of living in a city.

I’ve watched the show but I do agree with another pp. The show draws a picture of a somewhat fake reality. It’s very possible to have both.


We chose a wedding because we are still very early in our careers and are unsure if we will relocate. We are absolutely loving our apartment living right now. And our goal was to focus on buying a house when we have a family. We aren’t planning for a family right away so we still want to rent for now.

Omg I started watching that show last week and love it! So my husband and I are in the same situation. Yes we're technically married, but our wedding had to get postponed to October of this year because of Covid ... & were currently looking for a house (we actually just put an offer in yesterday). So we're actually doing both this year! Buying our first home together AND doing our big wedding! 🥰🤗