Marriage related: Balancing spending time on the holidays with your family and your SO's family

I got lucky and didn't have to compromise. FH'S parents go to Arizona for the Winter (we live in Manitoba) and they leave shortly after (Canadian) Thanksgiving. We spend Thanksgiving with them, and my parents get us for everything, including Easter.

Thanksgiving- FH's Family (Dad's Side)

Christmas- My family

NYE- His best friend's family (they don't celebrate holidays but we go over anyways)

Easter- FH's family (Dad's side)

4th of July- My family

His mom will see us in between and close to holidays since she's always with friends or traveling to distant cousins on holidays

It's just the way it's always worked out so now it's standard.

ETA- spelling

We aren't married yet, but for the past 3 years I spent Christmas with his family, and he came home for Thanksgiving once. I am from Long Island and we live in Baltimore, so that makes it hard.

We have said this year, we will go to NY for thanksgiving and next year we will go to NY for Christmas. He isn't happy about it and says if his brother is home from the Navy he will not go, but it is over a year away so I need to pick my battles.

In a similar situation, I am trying to get him to go on a family vacation with my side of the family. We go to OCMD with his family every year, but he never went on a family vacation with me. He says he doesn't wanna miss his family vacation so may not go on mine, but after 6 years of his family vacations I deserve at least one!!!

Well my fiances family is another country so... lol but he has kinda like a "host dad" i guess and he usually wants to spend the holiday with him if he doesn't go elsewhere. Since were not married yet and he is not really "real" family we have spent together at my family or i go to my family and he stay with him. I guess when were married though that might change. Im really scared though cause ive never spent christmas or thanksgiving without my family and i almost tear up thinking about it

We're pretty lucky in that we both have families out of state, so there is almost no obligation for shuffling. We generally only travel for holidays, which we spend with my family. DH's family actually isn't really "into" Christmas and it's not a huge deal for them. ...My family is the total opposite and DH has spent the past several Christmases with my family. If DH's family ever invited us or asked us, I'm sure we could figure out something. But the challenge there is that his family is in CA, mine is in CO. So we can only spend that day with one set of relatives.

Our parents live relatively close... we trade off between thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, then switch every year. We usually go to both parents on Christmas, even though we are ALWAYS with her family on Christmas eve, they have a Christmas eve get together every year. Last year we had thanksgiving at our house with her family. When we moved away for 2 years we didn't do either so it's getting back in the groove now that we are back "home". Probably do thanksgiving at my moms and Christmas at hers this year. Then next year Thanksgiving at her family's and Christmas with mine.

ETA: I find it ironic how she always has to work on thanksgiving on the years it's with my family!

Last year we were at my parents for thanksgiving then went to his grandparents that Saturday. and for Christmas, he visited with his mom and bro on xmas eve, and joined me at my parents later in the night, then left the next morning about noon to get his daughter and we did presents with her that night. and then we went to his grandparents the day after. wow, just looking at it like that exhausts me. I would imagine it will continue this way (mostly ad hoc) until we have children..and his schedule with his daughter alternates with his X every year.

This year we are saying screw you to everyone and taking a vacation over thanksgiving just the two of us. For Christmas, we will spend Christmas eve & morning with his family and then fly to see my family for the weekend.

FH was raised Jehovah's so we don't have this problem. Instead, we spend Thanksgiving with my family and then Christmas with his "Atlanta family" (they took him under their wing when he moved here by himself when he was 17) after we do our own thing together. A unique situation but I'm thankful for not having to pick.

Our plan for this Thanksgiving is to go to my family's for dinner on Thanksgiving and then go meet his family for dessert and possibly a movie as well (their tradition). His parents live about 10 minutes from my grandmother's house, so it works out. Christmas I'm not sure what we'll do. DH's family are Jewish, so they have a tradition of going out for Chinese food and a movie. My family usually celebrates Christmas Eve at my grandparents' and then Christmas Day at my parents', but DH might be working Christmas and if he's not, he'll probably want to be with his parents. He'll probably come to Christmas Eve, though. At some point (once we buy a house and I'm not in school full-time), we'll probably start hosting some holidays.

We usually go up with his family on the holidays. I feel sad about not seeing my family as much anymore, but honestly... the travel's about the same and when we're with his family there are more people our age up there and next to Seattle, down to my family and it's just my grandparent's and in a town in the middle of no where. We tend to go down to my family around spring break if we can afford it...

Also, his grandma lives near us with a large van, so we usually carpool up to his family which is much easier on the wallet.

I wish we could see my family more, but it's so pricey to travel, PLUS they're liberal and very comfortable with wanting to talk about and unsupportive of our decision of abstaining until the wedding. (It gets uncomfortable sometimes)

I switch holidays (not including Christmas) with my son's father. So when my son is with me, we will go with my family. The years he's not, we will probably go with his family.

We split the holidays every year - one year we do Thanksgiving with one set and Christmas with the other and the next year we flip-flop.

One year we tried to visit everyone during Christmas and it was a nightmare - our families live on opposite sides of the state and travelling across Wisconsin in the Winter is the opposite of fun.

FH's family lives in Hawaii, we're in San Diego and my family lives 7 hours north of us (east of San Francisco). We switch off every other Christmas. Last year we spent Christmas and New Year's in Hawaii. This year we'll be in California. We'll probably spend more Christmases in Hawaii than in California since that's the only time FH can get away to see his family while he's still in school.

We switch up every year. So this year we are (supposed to be) going to my parents for Thanksgiving and his parents for Christmas (next year would be his family for Thanksgiving and my family for Christmas, etc). We aren't doing either this year because of wedding money, but it has worked out really well for us so far. His family is in Reno and my family was here until 2 years ago so we have to travel to SLC for them.

My Mom's and Step-dad's anniversary is on Dec 21. So we usually go up around then to celebrate Christmas. They go to my step-dad's family's place for Thanksgiving. My FH's family and my Dad's family live about 30 mins apart. We do Thanksgiving lunch with his parents and do Dinner with my Dad and his family. Both his parents and my aunt, who always hosts Christmas, do it on Christmas Eve. We get to his parents house early to hang out with them and then around 3 or 4 we head to my aunt's house. I don't know what we're doing this year though because I have to work Christmas Eve and I don't have any PTO yet. The office usually closes early but we won't be able to spend as much time with his parents as we usually do.

We actually dont have this issue.

We join the families together for Thanksgiving, (I have hosted and cooked the past two years we have been in our place), and since I am Jewish, that takes care of the whole Christmas debate, (even if Hanukkah were to fall on Christmas, its eight days. We choose one to get together on). Its very easy.

We do the holiday shuffle as well.... Every holiday we go to my moms, my dads, and his parents. I'm hoping once we have children we'll either be able to host and have everybody come to US, or possibly separate the holidays.

Uhghhghghg I don't know. We haven't solved this yet. We spent thanksgiving with DH's family because we didn't want MIL to be offended (whereas my mom wouldn't be). So I'd like to do Christmas day with my parents, but we can probably do the shuffle since they live close to each other.

We have tried a few things, we are not married yet and I don't expect it to change when we are. FH's family live about a 10 minute drive from us, my family lives about a 45 min drive from us. We host Thanksgiving dinner at our place ( past 3 years), Christmas Eve is spent with his family as that is when the family gathering usually happens. Earlier in the day on Christmas Eve we visit with my grandmother or if we are not able ( I work half a day) I visit at some point Christmas Day. I only have one grandmother left, he has no living grandparents. Christmas Day is spent with my family with a visit to his parents in the evening. There is also usually a boxing day brunch with his extended family. Easter it varies sometimes our mothers will work around one another and do their dinner on separate days so we can attend both. He is an only child, I have one brother who is married already with a baby on the way. The first year we were together we tried to fit both families in for all occasions and it was exhausting. We have decided once we have children we will change things up a bit by spending Christmas morning at home and going for our visit with my family a bit later. Both of our families really love Christmas and the family aspect of the holiday is really important to us so we have worked it out with their input and accommodation for the other's traditions/schedule.