Marriage related: Balancing spending time on the holidays with your family and your SO's family

We're not super close with DH's parents so it works out that his dad is usually working on Thanksgiving and Christmas. So we spend the days with my family. Christmas with my famiy is a two day event, too. Christmas Eve the extended family gets together and Christmas Day is usually spent with my parents and sister, sometimes my grandma and uncle. We celebrate with DH's parents either before or after.

Most holidays are spent with my family. DH's family doesn't really do holidays the way my family does. Since DH works this Thanksgiving - we'll be celebrating alone.

His mother goes to New Orleans every year for Thanksgiving & Christmas. When his schedule permits, we go for one. This year, we're going for Thanksgiving.

For Thanksgiving and Christmas we drive to see my family the night before, stay overnight and then leave between 12 and 1 to come back to Omaha. Once back in town we'll see FH's family for dinner and stay until about 9. Then we go home, get the munchkin to bed and FH and I relax. Some years we've celebrated Christmas just the 3 of us late at night when we get home, but we've usually just done it a few days before Christmas before heading out of town.

Ugh, this has been a struggle for us since we've been together. DH's family celebrates EVERYTHING! They have a birthday get together every 3 months to celebrate all the birthdays within those 3 months. Every Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, graduation, birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July, they have a get together. It's so tiring! We have a birthday dinner to attend this Sunday, actually.

For many years DH wouldn't go to his family's house without me except last year for Thanksgiving. They have their Thanksgiving earlier in the day than my family and I have always helped my Mom prepare for Thanksgiving so I haven't gone to DH's family's house for Thanksgiving in a few years. But it always comes down to DH doing what I wanna do and me feeling bad for not going to his family's house. Luckily, my family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve but every other holiday is a struggle. I always tell him to go without me (if my family is doing something for the holiday too) and he always refuses because he doesn't want everyone asking where I'm at. I think it's because he doesn't want them thinking we're having problems in our relationship or something.

We spend every holiday with my family. There are phone calls made to his family though at almost every holiday.

We currently live together (and our parents live within a mile of each other) so there isn't too big of an issue.

-Thanksgiving and Easter we have dinner with his family and drinks/dessert after with mine

-Christmas Eve is with my mom and stepdad

-Christmas morning wake up and go back to above to open presents and then to his house before going home and FH would stop by his grandparents. Then I used to have dinner for my dad, grandma, sister and any other stragglers that wanted to stop by.

(Last year the little ingrate couldn't be bother to stop and get a bag of rolls after I bought a ham and made salad, green beans, cheesy potatoes, soda, beer ect.), so when I got on her case she said she would have Christmas day next year (this upcoming). Well her lazy ass only said that because she wouldn't do anything and her Boyfriend of two plus years would do it all. Jokes on her since he dumped her over the summer and I'm not bailing her out of this....so this should be drama fulled

Last year was our first holiday season together. We saw EVERYONE. This year? I told fh i dont car who we see (or dont see). I would actually be happier if we just had a friends only holiday.

For Thanksgiving/Easter (not that we are religious, but would still have a dinner and get together) we would split it usually. One year go to one family for easter and the other for thanksgiving. The last couple we have been further away, so last year I think we stayed in PA for both easter and thanksgiving.

For Christmas - we have never spent Christmas together. I would go to my family and he would go to his. Last year he came either last Christmas night or the next day to my families for a couple days. This year will be the first year we are together. I need him with me since it will be the first Christmas without my mom. I figured his family would understand him spending Christmas with me now that we are engaged and everything in my life, but doesn't mater since around July his mom told him they weren't being a part of his life anymore (basically until he came back begging to her that he needed her and he's just not like that and he doesn't need her). So, he doesn't have a 'family' to go back to anyways. His grandmother did ask if we would be able to come out and see her, so while we are with my family we will take the couple hour drive and visit her and take her out to dinner/lunch. (she lives next door to his parents so that will be interesting HA!)

Good luck I know it can be difficult running all around! WHen my parents got married and had me, my mom made a rule that they weren't going anyplace on Christmas. If family wanted to come to the house that was fine, however for Christmas' with the sides of the family they could be arranged to not be on Christmas.

For Thanksgiving we have been going to FMIL's family for Thanksgiving (not this year as FH's grandmother is coming for the wedding so we are going to FFIL's for dinner).

Christmas Eve is with FMIL. Until this year we went to FFIL's for breakfast Christmas morning (FFIL and FH's step-mother are starting to spend winters in FL and won't be here anymore for Christmas) and we go to my sister's house for Christmas dinner (my father lives downstairs from my sister and nephew and my mother comes as well) . We have Easter at my sister's house. (We plan on moving in the spring and I am hoping that when we move we will have enough space that I can host at least one holiday at our house).

We use to go to both.we would spend a little time at each for thanksgiving.his side got Christmas eve mine got Christmas day.which really didn't cause a problem until one year his grandma had told us that we were celebrating on Christmas eve as usual and then last minute changed it because his sister had to work.we tried telling them that my parents had already made their plans but she didn't care.so it caused a huge argument.right now though we don't speak to most of his family so we don't have to worry.

This was important to both of us so we discussed and planned it out ahead of time (one of our first convos as an engaged couples haha). We both have 2 sides to spend time with, so 4 groups total. We each picked our fave of our own, and split up the other 2. So our normal plan will be Thanksgiving with his dad, Christmas eve with my dad's family, Christmas Day with his mom, and easter with my mom's family. My dad's family and his mom's family are our favorites, so if stuff gets juggled around we'll make more of an effort to see those sides.

For Thanksgiving we alternate years. Last year we went to his parents house and the year prior we went out to dinner with my family. This year would be my families turn but I'm not sure what their plans are.

We both grew up always having Christmas morning with our parents and it's hard to give up for the both of us. We decided to do Christmas Eve morning instead with my family and then Christmas morning with his. It worked out last year and we're hoping it'll work this year. The hardest is not just us compromising but our siblings and their spouses compromising.

We have been doing the back and forth for a few years now and it gets tiring. Double that with the fact that we only have my daughter every other Christmas/Thanksgiving and it's wicked hard to juggle everything. We've started spending xmas eve with my family and xmas day with DH's. It just works better.

My parents are very anti-cooking and they always go to a Chinese resaturant on holidays so that makes staying with DH's family much easier. I don't want chinese food on Thanksgiving!

We have been together for three years now and this will be our fourth holiday season together. We have done the "Holiday Shuffle" every year (both sets of parents live in the same state). Each set expects to see us each holiday for hours at a time. Last year, we ended up staying too long at FH's parents' place and my parents (who live further away) got shortchanged, so this year, we are entertaining the idea of alternating or even of spending the holidays apart since this will be the last year we do that. We need to work something out because FH and I end up running around all day and neither of us like it - it's our day, too, you know?

Don't have to worry about it. FH's side of the family is all Jehovah Witness (him/I are NOT), and they do not celebrate holidays. That means he gets to hang out with my family on all those days