Married And Living In Separate Homes

I would definitely not be comfortable living in separate homes. To me that just kind of defeats the purpose of being married, I’m marrying my fiancé because I want to build the rest of our lives together. Seems counterproductive to me, especially should you have children.

I personally wouldn’t but there’s always the exception to the rule. I know of a friend that does because is a long distance relationship. It has work for them for over 5 years now and they do plan on eventually move together once he retires which I believe is still another 5 more years. If the couple is in the same state and city I don’t see why leaving separate is even an option. Paying for 2 houses and 2 electrical bill, water?

There are some good reasons to do this. I had a friend who had their dad move states for a job and their mom stayed behind for two years so the girls could finish high school in the same school. I have another friend who had her parents live apart after the kids were grown because the wife got an amazing job in another state and the husband was just a few years from his pension. I don’t think it’s a great option long-term, but short-term and under the right circumstances I understand it.

My FH jokes about this, as I still live 4 days a week with my parents (who are elderly and sometimes need me to help out) and then 3 days with my FH. I plan to move in with him once I get married, and my parents only like like a 5 mile drive away.

I’ve read the article and I guess I don’t understand the point of this. What benefits are there? I can understand long distance relationships, obviously you would have separate homes but in the article it sounds like the couple live close by but just live in separate houses. Why?
I not only wouldn’t ever do this but I can’t even wrap my head around it.

I can't see myself living apart from FH after we get married. If push came to shove, I could do it. But it definitely wouldn't be my first choice. I've seen marriages fall apart because of living apart

No I wouldn't live separate long term. The couples in the article don't plan on getting married either so they are on a different commitment path. I could understand my FW having a separate apartment in another city if her job took her there 3 or 4 days a week.

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I also wouldn't be comfortable with my husband having a separate home. He can have a separate bedroom in our house if he occasionally needs space.

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I also wouldn't do it as I would not want to pay double the bills. You should check out the article though for more background on why older couples are opting to do this.

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You bring up a great point, short-term this arrangement might be able to work.

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Having your parents live so close by means you'll be able to easily have your space whenever you need it.

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My understanding is the couples live close enough to maintain their relationship but its far enough that they can have their space.

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I can definitely see how married couples living apart could lead to the relationship ending.

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My husband and I discussed it in terms of a short-term job opportunity and we think we could manage that.

View Quoted Comment I guess I can’t understand because FH and I have lived in a tiny home(less than 500sqft) for 8-9 years now and we’ve never needed our own space. It’s just a concept so different than my life that I can’t see their point of view I guess.
I know every relationship is different but not sharing the same home but living in the same town just gives me a big ol’ question mark. It gave me something to think about at least.

In the article, these aren't married people, just people who are dating and living apart. And I can kind of see it. There's always an adjustment when you start living together. If you're in your 90s, "til death us do part" isn't that long. It may not be worth the stress of moving and the adjustment period after you do, in order to have only a few years (if that) together.

I would not ever do this but the first couple I thought of when I read the article is my grandparents. My grandma moved fron NJ to FL to retire into a gated retirement community where each resident has a very nice apartment. She met her husband there. (ten years ago) They don't want to move into a shared apartment because he watches gold during the day while she watches her shows and has friends in the community come over to play card games, etc. It works really well for them at this point of their lives.

View Quoted Comment I totally understand your perspective.

View Quoted Comment Your absolutely right.

I can't see myself doing so but I can understand it if there's things like school and job just being in separate places.