Married and still having a wedding

You can definitely still have the wedding. Having a civil ceremony does not have to be considered your “wedding day”

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Because you asked for peoples thoughts? lol

View Quoted Comment Then why did you post this forum? You asked for opinions but anyone who doesn’t agree with you, you are just jumping down their throats...

View Quoted Comment Omg PLEASE ignore them and have whatever you want people do it ALL the time. I know a girl who got married and then a year later had a wedding by the beach, we all knew that she was already married before but we still considered a wedding and we still did a typical bridal shower and bachelorette party. I knew of another woman that I work with she got engaged I asked if she was going to have a wedding and she said no we’re just going to the courthouse so I totally understand what you meant by that as well. Another example, my cousin just got engaged and she told me she does not want to have a wedding she’s going to elope on the beach and just have two witnesses. She is not married yet she will get married on the beach with two witnesses. Some people like to get hung up on wedding etiquette, rules, and technicalities. As long as those people are not your family and friends then you’ll just fine😊

The good news is each of us has free will, so as some posters have suggested, you can do whatever you want, including having a second ceremony following your legal marriage. However, always in life, with each choice there are potential consequences. My understanding of your original post ("A few of my people said we should just have a reception, Any thoughts?") is that at least "a few of your people" aren't supportive of your second wedding/ceremony plan and you asked for the "thoughts?" of people on a public wedding etiquette/advice forum. You absolutely can discount those who've posted their concerns about your plan, but you might also want to consider if their reasons are some of the same reasons "your people" are advising you to skip the "second wedding." Some of the saddest posts I've read on this forum are from brides/couples who planned and paid for a wedding only to be extremely disappointed when their friends and family chose not to attend. Sometimes, the poor response was because the invitees were super rude or there was bad weather or whatever, but sometimes it's because the invitees never supported the couple and/or their wedding plans, but the couple went ahead with their plans anyway. I've followed this forum for a pretty long time, and people who voice opinions different from an original poster's are often trying to help the OP see another perspective that might be valuable to them. You know your potential guests better than anyone on this forum, so you are probably in the best position to predict how they will respond. If it's what you want, I hope they support your plans. Good luck!

If you want a vow renewal to include friends & family in the ceremony, then do it! Eloping is very different so if you want the whole shebang wedding experience, go for it.

Good heavens. You define what marriage is to you. Others agree or don't. Do you. If never begrudge anyone who wants the right of passage into marital bliss. This debate is totally out of control. We don't tell people they can't celebrate their birthday after the actual date. And we don't insist that they call it a birthday renewal or say they can't call it a birthday party. Do whatever makes your heart happy. People are dying of a virus - this isn't a fight worthy topic. Celebrate love however you want.

I don’t know why people get so butthurt when people do this. I was a bridesmaid for my bestie who got legally married in March of 16 and then had a wedding and reception in July of 17. She had to get married because they live in Germany and her visa was expiring. 60 people came and it was a grand old time. Everyone knew they were already married. Nobody cared. They did not call it a vow renewal, they called it their wedding. Same with one of my college girlfriends who is married to an army lieutenant. She got married young before he deployed and their wedding was a year later and NOBODY CARED. Every year they celebrate both anniversaries and they are some of the happiest people I know.

You can definitely have a vow renewal and reception

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These people are crazy - that same girl said something to me about it "not being a wedding" when I asked a similar question. YOUR WEDDING IS YOUR WEDDING. GO FOR IT, GIRL!!! You want to reenact the whole ceremony? Do it! Want to do just a reception? Do it! Want to walk down the aisle naked? Do it!

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Literally anyone can have any kind of party they want. If you want to have a wedding after you're married, please show me the LAW (as you state) that says you can't do so? Seriously.

View Quoted Comment Weddings are events where people get married, per the dictionary definition that Gen referenced. It doesn’t require a pretty white dress, a celebration, or vows. It requires two consenting adults and a marriage license. Married people can’t get married. That’s not possible in the United States. You can have a vow renewal or a celebration and sure, you can call it a wedding if you want, but you’d be wrong.

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Lol this is talking about bigamy not a wedding ceremony.

View Quoted Comment You can call it a bat mitzvah if you want, it’s still not a wedding unless you’re getting married. Do as you please.

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I would call it a wedding.

Girl do what you and your hubby feel is best for yall. My husband and I are renewing our vows and are doing the whole wedding since this time is in a church.

I'm willing to state something obvious. Some religions have different traditions and don't consider a person married until all the religious requirements are met. And so they are married under the eyes of the law but not the church. Some are married by the church but not by law - they might ask their officiant to preside but never file the paperwork. Some don't need a church and some don't want the legal part - though the legal part comes with benefits in the literal sense. The idea that you can't have 2 marriages might be correct per a dictionary - maybe. But it fails to account for any non-legal aspect of marriage. And marriage is more than just the legal right to do so.

So - plllbbbb. Marriage used to be defined as one man and one woman and we corrected that. Now, we'll correct this. Celebrate whatever you want, call it whatever you want - and as the post above said party naked if you want. It is rubbish to have a problem with this.

View Quoted Comment Amen Laura Amen!

Call it whatever you want. If you want to be technical you can go with what other people said and have a vow renewal, but it’s your day and if your guests already know you’re married I don’t see what the big deal is. People are very uptight on WW and want their cookie cutter weddings and like to shame anyone who don’t follow the norm. There’s no need to get so technical about someone’s special day

You could have a vow renewal or call it a wedding since but thats up to you its your day so do whatever you want honestly people are always going to have opinions regardless.