I’ll try to make the context short so I can get to the point. My now husband and I are 25 and are high school sweethearts. We had our firstborn at 21 (in 2020) before we were married, and ultimately our firstborn was the reason for us marrying when we did. We come from 2 different cultures, his much more strict and unaccepting than mine. His family didn’t accept me while we dated, but when they found out we had a baby, they jumped to marriage as a way to save face in their community (I say “found out” because my husband never told them he wanted to marry me, but that we had a 9 month old together… yes, he also waited 9 months after the birth to tell them).
We were just told to marry and “make it right”. So in 2021 we just did the legal marriage paperwork. No wedding or celebration of any kind. I still carry a lot of anger because getting married was something I looked forward to since I was young, and I feel robbed tbh. My family knew about my relationship with my husband from the moment we started dating, they supported us during our unexpected pregnancy, and accepted my husband. And I feel they were also robbed of celebrating their firstborn and eldest daughter getting married. We now have a second child together (born earlier this year 2024 with my husband’s mom’s permission- yes, permission- as she was still saving face from announcing our marriage that didn’t happen until our firstborn was 1 year old), and it kinda just hit me that I never actually let go the loss I felt 3 years ago, despite my efforts to.
Is it too late? Where would I even start? How can I convince my husband if it’s not too late? How can I move on if it is (too late)? He’s not really open to any kind of supplementary celebration, I’ve tried pitching a vow renewal to no avail. I’m just sitting in a pool of hurt with no where to put it.
