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Savvy September 2018

Married for 2 months feeling blah?

Simplicity, on November 28, 2018 at 3:48 PM

Posted in Married Life 35

Hi everyone I've been married for 2 months everything was perfect and awesome! Recently I've been feeling a disconnect with us. We do not talk or hang out like we use to everyone is basically doing their own thing. He even cooks dinner sometimes and doesn't even ask me if I am hungry to share. The...

Hi everyone I've been married for 2 months everything was perfect and awesome! Recently I've been feeling a disconnect with us. We do not talk or hang out like we use to everyone is basically doing their own thing. He even cooks dinner sometimes and doesn't even ask me if I am hungry to share. The past month he has been sleeping in the other room which is odd because we are newly weds you would think our sex life Is suppose to be every sec? I do not know what to do because I cant tell my family or friends when they ask me why I have been so down. I want to seek counseling but I'm embarrassed because we recently for married and now I think wow we are a joke of a couple. I keep thinking if this is how we start and we not even 90 days then we are not going to last. The disconnect start from a simple disagreement and hasn't been the same since, Advice and encouragement needed! Love you guys!

35 Comments

  • S
    Savvy September 2018
    Simplicity ·
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    Its sooo tough I am trying to push through!

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  • Future Mrs. Petro
    Devoted November 2018
    Future Mrs. Petro ·
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    You need to talk the bull by the horns and talk to him...swallow your pride and open the lines of communication. Counseling is a good idea to lean how to communicate in a non defense way to one another however it may send the message to your husband that there is a bigger problem than there is which could freak him out. TALK TO HIM.

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  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
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    There are a lot of myths about weddings, marriage, love, etc. It is a full on myth that your first year of marriage should be easy and filled with love and sex. You haven't lived together before and he may be adjusting to living with someone else and not having his own space. He may not even realize that his way of dealing with this is hurtful to you. Maybe he doesn't realize that he isn't offering you food - this is new for both of you! It's going to be hard.

    You can go to counseling if you want, it doesn't mean you're a failure - it just means you two have entered a new time of your life and it takes some time to adjust to major life changes and you guys just had two of them. You may want to start making a nice dinner, popping a bottle of wine and talking about how marriage and living together is going for you so far.

    This is a couple months old ... How are you guys doing now?

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  • A
    Devoted August 2018
    Ally ·
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    If this is your first time living together, which is what it sounds like (whether it be the case), that could be a thing. It's a big change and much to adjust to. Maybe its all hitting him in one shot. Marrying someone may not change things in all reality but looking st the big picture it totally does. Have you talked to him about this?
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  • OldSchoolKindaLove
    Devoted September 2018
    OldSchoolKindaLove ·
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    Know you are not alone on this. I got married about 4 months ago. My now husband and I lived together for a complete year while we were engaged. In fact, because of cohabiting it caused me to leave and call off our engagement. After a while I did realize that I missed him, he's been my best friend since I was 12. We got back together,

    However, we moved into a rental house in November and it's back to the same ole routine. Living with another person is the hardest thing, in my opinion. There is a major disconnect in our relationship, too. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.



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  • Rebecca
    Dedicated May 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    People fall in and out of love during marriages, but you know your marriage is worth fighting for. Stay encouraged and seek wise counsel. Continue to love your husband. Go on a date, it can be simple. Try to spend some time. Figure out his love language (gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, etc.) it helps. There are online quizzes for that. Whenever you guys feel more connected, try it out. It can help with understanding HOW he receives love.

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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    I say seek counseling. You do not have to feel embarrassed about it. Not sure if you belong to a church but maybe you can confide in your pastor as well.

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  • S
    Savvy September 2018
    Simplicity ·
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    Thank you! It def has been an adjustment! We are seeking counseling and trying to figure things out. Its been hard but I am trying because we both do love each other. Sometimes I wonder if I lived with him before marriage would we even be married at all? I always heard first year is the hardest but living it is something else. Counseling and this marriage seminar we went to is def helping us try to be better. It sucks because doing these moments sometimes things are said that hurt that shouldn't. Thank you I wish the best luck to you too and it feels good to know people on here I can relate to!

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  • S
    Savvy September 2018
    Simplicity ·
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    Well things did take a TURN for the worst at one point but we are finally regularly seeking a counselor who is helping us find effective communication skills and adjustment. My issue is that its def been up and down which isn't emotionally healthy for me. We are going now every week cause it gotten to the point we was barely talking in the house. I am going to give an update after these sessions but it def had me thinking I am a failure because how barley married 6 months with all these issues but I am realizing now talking to other married couples how we aren't alone .

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  • S
    Savvy September 2018
    Simplicity ·
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    Thank you!! We are def seeking counseling and trying to figure this out!

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  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
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    Communication is key but be sure you're both paying attention to what is underlying it! You are doing the right thing, relationships and marriages are up and down. Keep your head up and just know it's a tough thing. When my now husband moved in, he moved in to my first place I had 100% on my own. One day he moved all of my dishes in my cabinet. It was crazy difficult. And then I realized it didn't matter. It's such a silly thing... but there are lots of those silly things that drive me nuts. And I'm sure there are as many that drive him nuts! Keep it up, you're doing things!

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  • S
    Savvy September 2018
    Simplicity ·
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    Thank you I appreciate this.

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  • K
    Beginner June 2019
    Kathy ·
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    How are things going now? Has the counseling helped?

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  • M
    Dedicated June 2021
    Mm126 ·
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    I wouldn’t feel embarrassed to go to counseling. That’s never a bad thing.

    Also keep in mind that relationships go through ebbs and flows. How long have you been together prior to marriage? We’re you living together prior?

    I ask this because FH and I have been together for five years, living together for two. We went through a similar situation, and I too thought the worst. Really though, sometimes people just need their own space every now and then, and that’s completely normal.

    This is especially so if you’re used to living by yourself or with other roommates. Living together and being with each other 24/7 can change the dynamic of the relationship for a little bit. But, if you have a strong foundation, the “funk” will pass.
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  • S
    Savvy September 2018
    Simplicity ·
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    Thank you the Funk has passed! The occasionally moments happen but we deal with way better. Also we are trying to communicate better.

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