Masks at a Wedding, am i selfish for saying No Way?

I don’t think it’s appropriate to mandate people can’t wear masks if they feel like they want or need to. You can decide to not wear one, your bridal party or other guests can decide to not wear one (dependent on local regulation) but I don’t think it’s fair to make that decision for people. I get caring about your pictures but at the end of the day it’s not an appropriate ask because it concerns personal health. The people attending are there out of love and support for you and your partner, let them wear whatever they feel like they need or want to.

Yeah, that's extremely selfish. You shouldn't expect your friends and family to risk their health and possibly their life because you don't think masks are cute. If you don't want masks worn at your wedding, elope or postpone and don't get married in the middle of a pandemic.

View Quoted Comment Then they don’t have to come. Idk how many times I have to repeat that fact on this thread.

So you came here to ask for advice just to tell people that you don't want advice? Makes sense. Perhaps consider rereading the community guidelines you agreed to when signing up for WW, because many of your comments violate them.

Honestly you should reschedule since you’re more concerned with how it will look than other people’s safety & well being.

I understand where the OP is coming from. I don't want my guests in masks either, but my wedding is next April, so the pandemic situation will hopefully be very different by then. When I look back at the pictures in 20 years, I want to see people smiling and having fun, and I want to be able to tell who the person is.

OP, it sounds like most of your guests won't wear masks anyway. But there are some things you can do. You can ask people to remove their masks for form portraits. The virus is usually transmitted if you stand in someone's breath for several minutes, so a few photos that take a few seconds each shouldn't be an issue. People will have to take their mask off anyway to eat and drink. I also recommend providing hand sanitizer bottles for everyone, maybe that will make them a little less anxious. Or you can have a basket of those designer/patterned masks, so people can wear that and take it home. That looks better than the plain drugstore ones. Congratulations and you'll have a great time!

Let me start by saying I completely understand your feelings. Nobody WANTS to wear a mask right now. Nobody WANTS masks in their wedding photos. But unfortunately, that is just the world we're living in right now. It sucks, and you truly have my empathy for being a victim of the pandemic. I can't imagine the stress it has added to what should otherwise be a happy time. That being said, you absolutely cannot mandate that your guests are prohibited from wearing masks. That is a very personal health decision, and one you are not at liberty to influence. If what your photos look like are more important than having your your loved ones attend (you said you would rather not have them attend than attend and wear a mask), then, yes, that is inherently the definition of selfish. I apologize that that is very unkind, but that is my answer to your direct question, and seems to be the consensus.

View Quoted Comment If your plan is the mandate no masks during a pandemic you probably will have some declines. It’s placing aesthetics over your loved ones safety and comfort. If you and your fiancé are happy to have people skip your wedding rather than having the odd photo of them in a mask that’s your choice. It should be something you and your fiancé agree on because it has the potential to exclude people you both love and care about from celebrating with you. It sounds like you’ve absolutely made your mind up and this post is more about seeking reassurances but I would reconsider the priority of appearances over people.

So your decided a look over someone’s health? First a person not might be comfortable even coming to a wedding after all of this but now be told not to wear a mask. I’m sorry but everyone is on different comfort levels. And if I was told that I would not attend the wedding. My dad in New Jersey saw daily body bags being out into a refrigerator trailer. Would be awful if someone dies because they attend your wedding.

Masks are saving lives. You can’t ask you guests to not wear them if they are not comfortable. This is why weddings are getting postponed, because of the risk of the virus. Don’t contribute to the spread.

Why are you even asking for advice if you’re not going to take it and disagree with everyone who tells you that you can’t force people to wear masks? Yes, it is being selfish to ask people not to wear masks to your wedding because you don’t want it in the pictures. Even if the cases in your county are low, you can’t force people to put their health on the line just so your wedding pictures are perfect. We’re in the middle of a pandemic lady!

Agreeing with PP here, don’t come on here acting like you want advice when really you just want people to validate your own opinion and argue with anyone who disagrees. Even if you don’t think anyone will want to wear masks and people who do want to wear masks shouldn’t attend, you have to respect that it’s an individual choice. If you don’t want to see surgical masks then provide cute masks you’d like to see that are white or in your wedding colors (they’re pretty easy to buy in large quantities). If you don’t want to deal with masks at all then postpone your wedding. You keep saying that’s not an option and you have no choice but not postponing IS a choice. Just like an individual prioritizing their health over your wedding and wearing a mask is a choice. Personally I would probably only feel comfortable going to a wedding this summer if I wore a mask 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ok. So postponing isn’t realistic for you and you’ve already cut your guest list down significantly. So the guests remaining sound like your closest family and friends. Well then, different advice is call each guest and let them know. Be upfront and honest with them about your reasons so that they understand you’re serious about the matter. That way there’s full disclosure and they can make the decision to attend or not.


Call and tell each guest that masks aren’t allowed at your wedding. Just express the reasons that you mentioned here: that “it honestly really upsets me” and “I don’t want to walk down the aisle and see people with face coverings”. “I just don’t want guests wearing them while being in photos or video.” Then ask if they still plan to attend or not so that you can “give your spot to another guest”.
So it’s best to make your guests aware beforehand. Then you still have a little over a month to fill their spot with someone who was cut, but is comfortable with mingling closely and not wearing a mask.

View Quoted Comment I never said ask people not to wear one. If they choose not to come, thats their choice. You have the right not to attend someones wedding but everyone is going to move on from the virus in their own way and some feel comfortable with not wearing one anymore. Thats fine too

Could you maybe incorporate a polite message on your wedding website explaining you'd like to have a mask free wedding due to either the financials you've spent or even for you to have the feeling of a "normal" wedding during this pandemic, and for those who do not feel comfortable attending mask free, provide a live stream for your loved ones to watch at home? Or not explain at all. It's your day, so you can be blunt too. Let your guests know this will be mask free wedding and in regards of their safety whether they're high risk or just don't feel comfortable, there will be a live stream starting at so and so time. My husband's cousin has offered to live stream ours through Facebook for their grandmother to watch since she can not attend. She feels grateful to still be included and have the opportunity to feel as if she was there. Just an idea and it wouldn't cost anything

I Understand This Completely. If My Guests Feel Like They Need A Mask To Attend, Then Maybe They Shouldnt, I Wouldn't Tell Them "No Don't Wear A Mask" So That They Still Have An Option But iWouldnt Be Fond Of It At All.

You asked if you're being selfish - the answer is yes, extremely selfish. Photos and aesthetics are not more important than people's health.

Are your guests going to be in 95 degree heat all day? That will be uncomfortable and unsafe with or without masks.

Yes it’s 100% absolutely selfish. This should absolutely not be on the same plane as asking people not to use their cell phones, I mean your guests should be people you really care about and you’d rather them possibly catch the virus so you can have picture perfect photos?
We’re all in this situation and it absolutely sucks. No one wants to wear masks but if that’s the one thing that helps make sure I get to celebrate with my friends and family then I think it’s a very small price to pay.

Not only is it selfish, it's a huge safety risk. Not wearing masks around other people would also be illegal in many areas. You "only" have 30 cases where you're at because people are following precautions.