Masks at a Wedding, am i selfish for saying No Way?

I'm assuming OP's not coming back, but on the off-chance you're still reading...

1. All-outdoors wedding in the heat of summer in the south... that's already a health hazard.

2. You don't get to police how people want to protect themselves from the pandemic. Many want to come to your wedding and would feel more comfortable wearing a mask to do so. If they really won't feel comfortable, then yes, they won't come. There's a middle ground.

3. Your wedding location is only half the story. People are coming from other areas, I'm assuming, and many COVID-19-positive people have been asymptomatic (myself included). Masks help not to get others sick, yes, because they prevent the spread from actually sick people wearing masks.

4. Be honest. You came on to get validation and validation alone; you weren't actually interested in hearing other's dissenting comments. This board is about honest, unbiased opinions from strangers. You asked, we answered; it's rude to ban masks from your pandemic-time wedding.

I don't know what is funnier. The fact that this person thinks that her guests dying is worth it for her wedding, or the fact that she thinks her wedding is important enough for people to go to during a pandemic.

I understand your feeling about people wearing masks and it being in pictures. I don’t like the masks and don’t really believe they do much. But I also don’t judge people who want to wear them. As much as I don’t want people to wear masks at my wedding in July, if they feel that they need to wear one they can. I’d rather have them there with a mask on at my wedding then not be there (I cut our ceremony down to just family and postponed the reception to a later date). If someone is wearing a mask I will probably ask them if they would be ok taking it off for a picture after the ceremony.


It would probably be best to talk to your guest you invite about your feelings on mask and see what they feel about wearing one. It also might be helpful to decide what’s more important no one wearing masks or having everyone you really want at the wedding there.
Sorry you are going through this struggle! It’s a tough time to have a wedding! But everything will work out and you’ll have a beautiful wedding!

I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but if the idea of your guests wearing masks for your July wedding upsets you that much, then I think you should probably postpone your wedding. Have your wedding next year when you'll have the peace of mind that you won't be putting people's health and safety at risk. I think it is very selfish to ask guests to not wear a mask for a July wedding. Doesn't matter where in the country you are, how many cases in your county, if the wedding is outside, etc. July is way too soon to not be wearing masks. I'm sorry that this is obviously not what you want to hear...

Now for a different perspective, that of your guests. If I am a high risk friend or family member who accepted your invitiation, and I receive a call from you saying that I am not welcome if I plan on wearing a mask, that is the end of you being welcome at any event I am having ever again, No gatherings, no Christmas cards, no Birthday calls, nothing, If your pictures are more important to you than my health, and possibly life, then I would want nothing else to do with you.

Yes, you're being selfish.

If the possibility of offending your guests, and possibly offending them to point that you drive them away, is ok with you then go for it. Enjoy your "picture perfect" wedding.

If you don’t want masks in your photos, you probably shouldn’t get married during a pandemic

You’re not going to like my Answer to your question I say it like it is you are being extremely selfish for asking that people not wearing masks to your wedding when in fact that they’re doing this for their own health and well-being just because it’s gonna be outside in 95° heat doesn’t mean much if you are so concerned with how people work I would suggest rescheduling and if you are not comfortable rescheduling your wedding then I guess you really need to be OK with people wearing masks if you require that people not wearing masks I don’t think a lot of people are gonna show up to your wedding if that’s OK withYou by all means go ahead and ask but know that you’re going to find a lot of people

Yes it is selfish to tell others to risk their lives for a cute photo.

As a fellow bride, I have to say that, YES you are being incredibly selfish. I cannot fathom why anyone would believe their wedding, photos, and appearances of the event would be more important than the health and wellbeing of their family and friends. If you are this worried, please postpone your wedding until things have calmed down. Asking everyone to forgo masks so you get pretty pictures is horrible. God forbid anyone gets sick or spreads something from attending your "No Masks Allowed" wedding.

People will, and should, wear masks. Your only other option is to postpone. Also, a why are you having a totally outdoor wedding in 90 degree heat?! that sounds miserable, with or without masks.

View Quoted Comment You post asking for advice and then argue with people who disagree with you - were you just hoping to get a bunch of people validating your lack of respect for your guests’ health?

Ok, I’ve only read the first 10 or so responses, so maybe things are different as things go on...but you are absolutely out of line to suggest no masks. Masks should be encouraged. Aesthetics over safety...come on.

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The perfect solution right here!

View Quoted Comment In what way is that perfect? She’s asking people to come close to her and others to take pictures without a mask. Has everyone lost their mind? Your wedding is not more important than people’s health. I’ve got to leave this forum. I’m losing what little faith I had in humanity.

View Quoted Comment Exactly, I’ve had people tell me on return invites that they weren’t coming cause of Covid and I’m okay with that. If some are wearing masks and some aren’t it doesn’t matter to me at this point. I just want to be married.

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READ THE RESPONSE IT WASN'T TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER! IT WAS TO SOMEONE WHO COMMENTED. Calm down!

View Quoted Comment You have your opinion and I have mine. I’m not selfish, so you need to slow your roll.

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100% If they want to wear a mask that's fine if not that's fine too. But wearing a mask only prevents the spread if the person wearing the mask has covid. It will not protect you from catching covid at all unless everyone at the wedding wore a mask or if you have on a n95. I can promise you a n95 is not comfortable either. I could show you major marks all over my face after wearing one and I should know I am a nurse in the ICU My thought if you are that concerned with catching covid you should not be attending a wedding. Period.

View Quoted Comment That’s exactly why I’ve had people reply that they weren’t coming. It drops my guest list down which has been fine so I can save money. If people wear masks and others don’t that’s their choice as well as people not coming because of Covid. All brides have been on edge lately, so everyone really needs to chill out and calm down. You don’t know what anyone has been going through. I for one have been angry, sad, and depressed as well as many other things going on. I have been reading so much negativity from so many brides on here that I’m going to go off this website. It’s just awful. I’m getting married to the love of my life on 7/18 and I’m not going to let anyone bring me down. ✌️❤️

Short-answer? Yes.

Your wedding day doesn't come before your wedding guests' health. There is a lot of research out there about the effectiveness of masks, and how many people at a gathering need to wear them to be effective. Imagine you are taking a cruise for your honeymoon. Would your spouse ask you to get on a ship with no life jacket? No emergency plan in place? I would do some research before you ask that of your guests.