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Just Said Yes July 2020

Masks at a Wedding, am i selfish for saying No Way?

H, on June 8, 2020 at 1:56 AM

So I know the Covid-19 pandemic has been a huge deal, and I know wearing face masks has been a big push. My wedding is coming up in July, my fiancé, wedding party, and close family are definitely not even fathoming the idea of wearing masks. When I think of guests potentially showing up wearing masks, it honestly really upsets me. I don’t want to walk down the isle and see people with face coverings/surgical masks, I put it high on the list with no cell phone or personal camera usage. I just don’t want guest wearing them and being in pictures or video.
Is that too selfish to ask? We’ve had to cut our guest list down significantly in the first place. I just feel that if you don’t feel comfortable coming to a wedding without a mask, you should stay at home and give your spot to another guest.
Does this make me a terrible bride to ask that of guests...I feel like this journey has been stressful enough, and we just want to enjoy our wedding day without being stressed about face masks.

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70 Comments

Dedicated October 2020
Taylor · on June 8, 2020 at 6:33 PM
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Great idea! You go girl, and congrats on your upcoming wedding!
Expert July 2021
Katharine · on June 8, 2020 at 6:37 PM
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Soooo, the OP's question was if she was being selfish. Long story short - YES. Yes, that is selfish. You cannot ask people you supposedly love and care about to endanger their health to look asthetically pleasing for you walking down the aisle. And telling people not to come to your wedding if they intend to wear a mask, no matter how politely you try to phrase it, is a pretty massive jerk move that is practically guaranteed to make you look bad to many people.

I get it. Pandemics suck, and masks aren't pretty. I had to reschedule my big wedding and reception out another year to July 2021 because of it. We're still getting married this year in a VERY reduced ceremony/casual cook out and I wouldn't even DREAM of asking anyone to not wear a mask for asthetics. It's more important to us to have our loved ones present to celebrate with us, with whatever precautions they feel necessary, than to have perfect pictures.

Does it make you a terrible bride, or a terrible person to feel this way? No. We all want that picture perfect event, that's normal. What defines you is what you DO with how you feel.

I guess the question is, are you ok with however negatively you might be viewed by your current/future family and friends if you go ahead with what you're thinking of doing? If you are, then by all means - you do you. If you're not, then think long and hard about what is more important - perfect pictures or celebrating with the people you love (even if they feel the need to take precautions).
Devoted September 2020
Queen Cone · on June 8, 2020 at 7:05 PM
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I think you have to give people the option to wear one. its for their own safety and health. yes its not ideal but it could save their life
Dedicated September 2020
Ellen · on June 8, 2020 at 8:29 PM
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If you restrict people wearing masks then you need to prepare yourself that people may not come.
Dedicated June 2017
Scarlett · on June 8, 2020 at 8:52 PM
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Are you going to tell people beforehand no masks will be allowed? I personally think you shouldn't tell people to do that, but if you were to go that route give people the heads up. Give people the option to decline due to that reason.
One of the things that irritates me the most is people not wearing masks in public. I am in one of the parts of the country that does NOT have this under control yet and I think its why. I know its peoples rights to wear a mask, but you are protecting others (don't even get me started with that debate).
Alex · on June 9, 2020 at 4:14 AM
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Are all of your guests from your area and have they all only had had contact with people who live in your area? I guess the question is, do you want to risk your wedding being in the headlines as the source of an outbreak and it coming out that the guests were forbidden to wear masks. I'd let people wear masks if they want to, particularly if they are or are in contact with vulnerable relatives of their own, because nice pictures aren't worth someone dying over.
Master September 2019
Sherry · on June 9, 2020 at 9:06 AM
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You don't have to like them but if your guests are still willing to attend your wedding and risk their health and decide to wear a mask, there is nothing you can do about it but complain. Is it really worth it in the grand scheme of things? You are still getting a wedding and having your guests there and they are protecting themselves.
Savvy May 2022
Camisha · on June 9, 2020 at 11:41 AM
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It may not be possible for those who are in high risk categories to attend without wearing one, and honestly, do you want to catch Coronavirus? Why don’t you do something like hand out masks in your wedding theme colors with your names and wedding date on them? 🤷🏾‍♀️... or postpone... doesn’t mean that your new date is guaranteed to be a risk-free time but it may help.
Dedicated September 2020
Ellen · on June 9, 2020 at 11:47 AM
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Oh I was referring to the OP! Not you!

Legend July 2019
MrsD · on June 9, 2020 at 12:31 PM
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I think asking guests not to wear face masks is pretty rude. Generally the people still wearing masks are concerned about covid, living with someone who is or at risk themselves, or are sick. I wouldn't want to ask anyone to take off their mask and make them uncomfortable.