Matron of Honor issue rant

So you think that she’s hiding something that she knows about your fiancé?


You don’t think she can be genuinely asking? You mentioned that you’ve been friends for a long time so I assume you know her well. Do you agree with the other friends and think she’s just jealous?

View Quoted Comment I dont believe its genuine...her energy feels devilish. If you run and tell me business that has absolutely nothing to do with me...why not discuss something that does pertain to me! She told another friend shes not going to tell be, just let me find out.
I asked God if there was anything I needed to know, if FH intentions were not pure, if he is not for me...let it be known. I'm not sure if what she knows has any credibility or validity but it makes me upset that I'm in an energy of wondering. Its bringing my vibration down.

Hmm, jealous?! I would hope not. We both are successful and have our own accolades. She is the type of person that when she gets mad with you...she spills all your beans because she mad with you. That's why we've fallen out before. If you told me something, then I will take it to my grave. She lacks this concept and I feel its disrespectful. She stabbed me in the back and another friend as well.
At this point I see shes taken to facebook, she send subliminal messages. Smh.
She is my son's godmother and it's just difficult to cut someone off after such a long time, but I do believe she is toxic. Shame I could lose a friend and FH....but is it really losing?! I just want the truth.

View Quoted Comment I would definitely fall back from her negative energy it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends. How I am, it doesn’t matter if you’re family/friend/anyone if I’m not feeling your vibe I will cut people off and distance myself with no problem.


This is the last thing you should be worrying about. Have you talked to your fiancé? If not I would mention it to him and ask is there anything that she knows that you’re not aware of it doesn’t matter how old. The last thing you want to do is get married while having second thoughts or any going because she may be hiding something.
Also if she is your real friend she would just tell you no matter if it would “hurt you” or not. At least I would tell my friends because at the end of the day that’s who I owe my loyalty to and will try to protect.

View Quoted Comment I have asked FH and we have been going through pre-martial counseling. He says it's nothing he hasnt told me. We speak very openly about our past. I've always told him, there shouldn't be anything another woman should be able to tell me that I dont already know!


Yeh, gotta fall way back. I feel I'm more loyal to her than she is to me. I even thought perhaps shes jealous towards FH, as if shes going to lose me?! Is she trying to sabotage for that reason.

In all honesty she doesn’t sound like a true friend to me. A real friend who “knows something” or has valid concerns about your FH would take the time to have a heart to heart with you about it, rather than drop hints and post subliminal messages on FB. She clearly likes drama and having something to gossip about, which makes anything she may know questionable.
If I was in this situation I would go to my FH first and just be open and honest. I would tell him what’s been going on and how it’s making me feel, and ask him if there’s anything going on, or has anything happened in the past could affect our relationship. You don’t want to let that unsettling feeling of wondering fester. So have a conversation with the person who really matters in this situation. I would also confront her about what she thinks she knows, but I would give my FH the respect of going to him first.

Side note: some people are only meant to be in our life for a season. If someone has consistently exhibited toxic behavior, sometimes we have to let that relationship go to protect our peace, and yes it will hurt when there’s such a long history of friendship. And now you will also need to protect your marriage.

View Quoted Comment I have spoken with FH. He assures me that he has nothing to hide and we've discussed everything.


I tried to open the door for her to communicate what she knew...I said " Hey sis, Ive noticed that you have been less than enthusiastic about wedding details such as ordering your dress. What's going on?!" She replied, oh, no. I just didnt want to stress you with a lot of questions". 5 minutes later she was on the phone with our other friend asking him if he told me what she said about FH. Smh.
Even other people have noticed her behavior as She also was rude during a group text about the make up artist. The other ladies asked me "who is that?!"

View Quoted Comment That’s very much possible, and it’s unfortunate smh. Hopefully she gets her act together before the wedding

View Quoted Comment Hmmmm.....But it seems like you opened a side door. Asking about her enthusiasm and the dress allows her to give you a BS answer. I personally would be direct and open the front door with “why are you dropping hints that there’s something about my FH I don’t know? You need tell me what’s going on because you’re being messy and asking other people if they’ve told me, but you’re supposed to my best friend so why can’t you tell me?”


I’m glad you already talked to FH, and if you trust him then nothing anyone else has to say matters. But if she keeps acting this way that front door needs to swing open.

View Quoted Comment You sure right! The further this goes the less I trust her tho...she told me to tread lightly...sounds like she wants to hurt me and her concern is not genuine at the least.

View Quoted Comment Yeah this is the type of behavior that would make me cut a person all the way off, MOH/BFF or not. Anyone trying to disturb my peace or my relationship can get it lol. Never let another person sew seeds of doubt in your relationship. I hope you get the resolution you need.

View Quoted Comment Thank you❤

View Quoted Comment Sounds like this to me, too. Her feeling of power comes from you thinking something awful will come out. I think you need to talk privately. I think you
need to tell her that her vaguely threatening hints that she has a story to tell, are disturbing. Not because you are worried about FI. Anything you and FI have to settle, is between you and him. But it disturbs you that she is hinting she might do something to deliberately set you and FI against each other. Or that she is hinting that she will say things to others. You think anyone who would do that is a nasty troublemaker you could never call friend. So which is it? Does she intend to stop this not funny teasing, and act like a friend? Or end your long friendship right now. .......
I do not see why you are letting this nastiness or hint of blackmail from her go on. Who is she to deliberately make you upset, just because she gets a charge out of it? The friendship has run its course. Gone. Anyone deliberately setting you and FI against each other, should be kicked out now.

View Quoted Comment I agree that our friendship has run its course...this behavior is toxic.

This is not how a friend is supposed to be. If she can talk about others, what is she saying about you... very toxic & I wouldn’t have her in my life.

View Quoted Comment I agree. It's like trying to control slime. I'm not a messy person. Why talk about someone if your not going to help? Its very draining and I would have to filter what's actually going on in my life if I didnt want it public knowledge.