Maybe Controversial: Bachelor/Bachelorette Shannanigans

Strip clubs gross me out kinda for the same reason Julesieeeeee FH is grossed out. And really shes touched every other guy in the joint too. gross. Stripers area HUGE turn off for me. I told that to my FH I was like honestly it would gross me out so much I wouldn't want to touch you. For awhile. I think they are nasty. But also my crazy Wensday Adams cousin is one so that may add into my whole anti-striper thing.

Oh! And I don't think it has anything to do with temptation, I mean seriously, if you're about to make a lifetime commitment to someone who can be swayed by a girl with a pole and stilettos...well....it's time to reconsider. I hope most engagements have foundations that can't be shaken by the next shiny object....

Celia brings up another stupid point about b-parties: why do people act like this is the last time the almost-married couple will ever have fun? Or that it's their last night out as a single person? Uh, my last night out as a single person occurred 3 years ago before FH and I started dating, and I plan to have PLENTY of fun nights ahead of me after I say my vows.

My MOH and I were actually just discussing b-party plans for me, and I specifically told her no "last flight before the ring" shirts or the like. I just want my b-party to be about the friendship I have with my girls and celebrating an important time in my life.

We're having separate parties, I am a lot more likely to get into shenanigans than he is, some of my 20's are a total blur. FH is a total germaphobe so I am not worried about him doing anything. I don't have a problem with strip clubs or strippers and I know that nothing will happen at either of our parties.

Celia I'd so have you marry us if you were closer lol. I love and enjoy your point of view

My FH and his friends will most likely bar hop. I don't know if they will have strippers. If they go I will def tell him he can only look. I'm up for whatever for my bachelorette party. Most likely it will be a fun girls weekend of drinking, dancing, and eating.

I have no problem with other people and what they choose to do for their bachelor/bachelorette parties. If the couple is on the same page & happy, that's what matters.

I also would not be upset if FH went to a strip club for his bachelor. I think it's weird & kinda gross but I trust him.

However, I do not understand the idea that these parties signify our "last night as a single person." I haven't been single for more than 2 years now & if I were to act like a single person for my bachelorette I'm pretty sure my FH wouldn't want to marry me anymore. I think of it as a way to celebrate my impending marriage & plan to respect it as such. Just my opinion though, to each their own.

@Jenn in MN the girls can touch you.

@Amanda G I know! I haven't been single in over 5 years now. However all of us engaged laddies are in a "grey area" according to my slezzy x co worker. Icckkk.

Butlers in the buff lol! Sounds awesome..I'd be pretty trusting I think, its just when alcohol and immature friends are around mistakes can happen. But as long as you're both comfortable with it why not .

PS. I'm a little thirsty...please send a butler in the buff over to mix me a drink please. So so thirsty...

I also agree with others. I don't get what a ceremony to commit yourself to someone has to do with looking at other naked people. Not to mention that I just think strippers are gross in general. FH shares this opinion, and also really doesn't like to be the center of attention.

If his GM gets him one, it's whatever. It's not like I think he would be unfaithful or anything. But I also think he would be really uncomfortable and it wouldn't really represent what he would want. (I am pretty much envisioning his friends all going to one house and playing video and board games and eating and drinking all night. I bet anything if he has a Bach P that's what it will include.).

As for it being his last night as a single man, no, that was November 24, 2006, the day before he met me. :-)

I second++++ this "I agree with Amanda G too. I don't get how strippers and/or getting vomit-worthy drunk have anything to do with an impending marriage.... The last think I'd want to see in my living room is a naked former pizza delivery guy. Ick. (And trust me, this has nothing to do with me being a minister, lol) It just doesn't seem like a fun night out.

The whole naked dancing for money thing is kind of sleezy and weird and uncomfortalb to me, (and probably to the naked people too) but hey, that's me. I don't even get the concept of the 'bachelorette and bachelor' parties.....it's like this is the last time you're ever going to have fun? Weird.

Julesieee, you just totally cracked me up!"

I don't understand it either and it would not be a part of our relationship. We don't look at porn either. We aren't prudes either and have a great sex life and great relationship. So we must be doing something right

Oh and for me. FH never went before we where together so I don't understand why now. After we are together (and have been for 5 years) he would want to for his last "single" night.

My ex had his bachelor party at a strip club. Whatever. In hindsight maybe I should have gotten p!ssed and called off the wedding LOL

FH and his guys are going to baseball game so the topic of a strip club never came up.

I have zero interest in attending or having a bachelorette party at a strip club. Spa, please!

We each had our own party on different nights.

DH went to our favorite bar with his buddies, got wasted there then they took him to a classy strip club. He was so intoxicated that he says he barely remembers everything that went on after leaving the bar lol. His friends paid for him to go up on stage at the strip club and videoed the whole thing. My dad even went with them to the strip club. All his friends respect me and we are very close so I had no problem with him going out & having fun.

I went out for dinner with my girls & we hit a few bars in the area where we ate then went home around 1:00AM. No naked men for me but we definitely got a lot of free drinks & shots from guys at the bars we went to lol!

I completely trust FH, but I also know that we are on the same page when it comes to this. I definitely agree with Amanda G. FH and I are not interested in going out to do something that we never do (even when we were single) for one night before our wedding. For us we are celebrating by have a girls day out and a guys day out. The girls are doing a brunch, wine tasting, floating down the river, and then dinner at a hibachi grill. The guys (so far) are going to see a movie at the Alamo movie theater.

I'll add on to my earlier comments to say that FH and his friends are going white-water rafting and spending the night in a cabin somewhere. Most of the guys are married and really don't have any desire to see strippers--and I pointed out that no woman would be stupid enough (I hope) to get in a raft with a bunch of strange dudes to spend the night in cabin in the woods with them away from other people. CREEPY!

My bachelorette party is this weekend. We're starting out with wine while we do Paint Your Own Pottery and then have dinner, return to my place to change clothes and then go out into Arlington (VA--right outside of DC) to bars that we know. DC would have more of a clubbing element that I don't care about--I just want to hang out with my friends. Then we'll return to my house where a bunch of them will sleepover and then eat breakfast/brunch together (also at my house).

I LOVE and second Amanda G's post! And I am glad to say my husband thinks the same way as well. I am taking pole dancing classes and I can give him his own show whenever he wants. : )

I wouldn't care if FH went to a strip club, or I guess if his friends got him one. he thinks strippers are nasty though so it wouldn't be something he'd want. Since FH has mostly planned his own getaway to Chicago to drink beer I doubt there will be strippers involved.

As for me...the one time I was at a show with male strippers I hung out in the bathroom because I thought it was gross, and in Oregon male strippers can touch you. I wasn't letting anyone near me!

My Dh and his friends went paintballing then to the casino and then a sports bar. We have been together for over 9 years now so it isn't a trust thing with strip clubs and he has gone to them for other peoples bachelor parties, but I always thought it was a stupid 'tradition'. Two of his friends decided they couldn't do without the strip club that night, so they left his bachelor party to go on their own, talk about friends eh.

I will also give a different perspective, but I have a 2 year old daughter, and all I can think when I think about a strip joint is that that girl is someones little girl!!!

Amanda G-- the voice of reason! I also agree with her, but in direct response to your situation, JMedd, I would say make sure FH knows about the buttlers in the buff beforehand. The double-standard on this issue is ridiculous, and even though FH is going to have a stripper, his feelings about you having one may be very different. And to be fair, since you know about his strippers beforehand, he should have the same courtesy.

Also, keep in mind that many of your friends may not be interested in attending a party with a naked (or partially naked) man (as evidenced by this thread), and their SOs may not like it either. You may have a smaller party if you go this route.