Meeting officiant next week - what are good questions to ask?

1. Do you have sample ceremonies we can look at?

2. Are you willing to customize your ceremonies, or let us do so?

3. Do you do secular/Christian/religion of your choice ceremonies? (You don't want to arrive and find that every other word is God if you're both atheists, for example.)

4. Can you incorporate X (any special ceremony, like a unity ceremony that you want) into the ceremony?

5. What is your fee?

6. Do you normally have rehearsals? Is there an extra charge for them?

7. Do you have rules about guest photography/videography at the wedding? (Or if you want, for example, an unplugged ceremony, "Would you be willing to make an announcement about an unplugged ceremony?")

8. How long have you been performing weddings? Why do you do them?

Those are just a few I can think of. But really, ask the questions that are most important to you. A big part of the interview is not just getting answers to specific questions, but seeing how well you click with the officiant.

I should have mentioned that this is not an interview. We already hired the officiant but haven't met her yet. This is our planning meeting. Then she will attend the rehearsal and officiate the wedding. Several of those questions are still relevant so thank you for the ideas! We already know we do not want to write our own vows. We also don't want a lot of religious references but definitely opening and closing prayer. I am just not sure what she will ask us or in what way to be prepared. Thank you!

Kelli- She will most likely lead the meeting since you've already hired her. She will probably sit down with you both and create your ceremony I think questions will come up during the meeting as you're talking, I don't think you need a set list of questions since you already hired her

When I have my first 'interview' between myself and my couples, we walk through the parts they might include in the ceremony; support of the parents? pet blessing? remembrance? roses for the moms? then the love story; what are we talking about/leaving out. Then the vows, ring, any unity ceremony ideas you have, then the pronouncement. You probably should talk about the processional and organize that too.

You don't really have to be 'prepared' and don't worry about questions you can't answer; a great ceremony is the result of an evolutionary process, and you can't possibly know exactly what you want going in! (And if you think you do, reconsider going in with an open mind!!!)

Thank you so much Celia !!! That helps a lot! Sounds like I am just overthinking and it and just need to let the meeting flow.

And Kelli, as a people pleaser, I am urging you to SPEAK UP-- if she suggests something you don't like, don't just roll with it. I'm sure she wants you to be happy with it, so say, either, "We'd been thinking something more like..." or "Why did you do it that way?" The ceremony is the whole point of the event-- make sure it's the way you want it.

Thanks Zoe! Great advice!