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Savvy September 2023

Memorial Table

Marguerite, on June 26, 2023 at 9:42 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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I wasn’t going to do a memorial table because there are just too many people to recognize but we’ve been engaged for 2 years and in that time span we have lost 3 people who should have made it to our wedding. My aunt passed away the day after we got engaged, my FH’s grandmother that was living with us passed away 2 months ago and most recently my cousin passed away 3 months before our wedding. It just feels right to honor them as they were all planning on coming to the wedding and couldn’t…so my question is, is it okay if I only honor the 3 people who passed away during the span of our engagement or should I extend the memorial table to include every person we have loved and lost? It makes sense in my head but I don’t want anyone to be hurt bc I honored my aunt and his grandmother but not my two grandmothers who didn’t even have the chance to meet my FH as they passed away many years ago…I’m sure I’m overthinking everything far too much and I personally wouldn’t even notice a detail like that but the people pleaser in me is thinking people are going to “comment”

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Nj, on July 2, 2023 at 10:37 AM

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Rosebud · on June 26, 2023 at 10:47 PM
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First of all I m sorry for your losses. It’s important to remember you ll never please everyone so do what feels right to you and your partner. If you think someone will be upset you can mention it ahead of time so it’s a not surprise you can also add something that covers everyone such as to all those we have lost thru the years we love you and miss you. I lost someone very special to me before our wedding I couldn’t have a big memorial w photos because it was too fresh of a loss for me. but the day after the funeral I was on a walk and a cardinal landed at my feet. As a child my mom always told me cardinals are symbols of people we loved and lost so instead of photos we had a beautiful cardinal lantern set up. It made me smile to see it and was subtle nod to those who we so miss but live in our hearts. Best of luck to you!
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Savvy September 2023
Marguerite · on June 26, 2023 at 10:50 PM
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Oh that’s such a beautiful touch! I love the subtly of the memorial as well, I am trying to incorporate a piece of all of them in the ceremony some how…I’m sorry for your loss as well
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Super September 2023
Kimberly · on June 27, 2023 at 8:40 AM
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I’m sorry you and FH have gone through so much loss recently. Another popular thing people do is to put charms on their bouquet. Like if you got each of their birthstones and put them on the handle, it’s a way to carry each of them with you that day.
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Savvy September 2023
Marguerite · on June 27, 2023 at 9:50 AM
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Oh I love that! Thank you 😊
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Savvy July 2023
Kylee · on July 1, 2023 at 9:29 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss. My fiance and I have both lost people in our lives, but we are just having a memorial space for my dad at our wedding. You could always have a general sign mentioning something like "Remembering those who are celebrating from heaven" that could be about everyone you two have lost, but just have pictures of those you mentioned. In the end, it is your wedding, and you should do what you and your fiance think is best.
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Super June 2021
Bird · on July 2, 2023 at 7:37 AM
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You could also have your officiant acknowledge something in the beginning of ceremony. For example:

It could be vague or specific and actually name the people. Here are some other examples:
https://www.weddingceremonypro.com/moment-of-silence.html
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Dedicated May 2024
Nj · on July 2, 2023 at 10:37 AM
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My condolences for both of your losses. We are unfortunately also in sort of the same situation and are planning on just having a general memorial sign.
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