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Just Said Yes July 2017

Memorializing a deceased best man.

Stephanie, on January 22, 2021 at 12:45 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 8
Help! We are planning a very small, intimate, family only wedding for my sister in June 2021. The bridal party was to consist of myself (moh) and her fiancé’s older brother as the best man. The best man tragically passed away earlier this month. I am looking for a way to memorialize his role, in some way. I don’t want to make it any more heartbreaking than it already will be for the couple, and grooms family. But I also don’t believe it should go un-noticed. Has anyone had any experience with this or been to a wedding that followed a similar tragedy? Thanks for any suggestions

8 Comments

Latest activity by Donna, on August 4, 2021 at 5:31 PM
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    Maybe reserve a seat for him in the front row, with a picture frame of him or of him and his brother together. Or if the guest list is small, and there are no seats, his parents could hold the picture frame.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    Especially since the wedding will be limited to close family who are well aware of this tragic loss, I'd leave it up to them to decide if/how they want to address it. I can't imagine there is much chance his brother's absence will go un-noticed. As MOH, I'd think it best if you let your sister know you're willing to do anything you can to help, but then follow the groom and his family's lead. Condolences to your extended family on this terrible loss.

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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    My best friend passed away shortly before his little sister got married. They had signature cocktails in his honor and had a note of some sort recognizing him (which I honestly don’t remember because it made me burst into tears and excuse myself). I’d ask the bride her thoughts, especially being so soon, it could be upsetting to draw more attention to it. That’s very kind of you to think of this. Best wishes to you.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I agree with this. People will be aware of the situation and processing it their own way without putting focus on it. A wedding doesn't seem like the most appropriate place for a memorial..because you are mixing happy and sad and not everyone is comfortable doing so.
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    It's very kind of you to think of, but I think the groom and his family need to decide their level of comfort. My dad died before my wedding and I would have been devastated had someone tried to do more to memorialize him than I did - because it was difficult enough for him not to be there. I see the empty chair idea a lot. If we had done that I wouldn't have made it through the ceremony without ugly crying and needing a box of tissues.

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  • Ashley
    Dedicated May 2021
    Ashley ·
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    Very thoughtful of you. I would get the couples opinions and see if they had thoughts of doing it. If so then you can offer some of the suggestions found here and let them know you are willing to execute their vision.
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  • Katie
    Dedicated May 2023
    Katie ·
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    I think your intentions are good, but agree with other posters that it may be too much too soon for his family. You can definitely let your sister know of your willingness to do so, but let her talk to her fiancé about what may be appropriate or not for the grief that they're feeling. Some would love to have an empty seat with a frame or other remembrance, and for some it would be ripping open a fresh wound.

    Condolences to everyone involved and I hope they're able to have a wonderful wedding even if it's missing someone very important!

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  • Donna
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Donna ·
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    I don't know what you decided but my son passed away 5 years ago and I think it's an awesome idea to do something. The make small charms with pictures that you can attach to the boutonniere or bouquet. It doesn't have to be a huge announcement but the groom would have it and it would mean so much.
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