"Men Are Only As Faithful As Their Options"

I’ve heard that statement before. But I wouldn’t say it’s completely accurate. I believe....

1.) The statement applies to women as well and
2.) People are only as faithful as their willingness to be loyal and committed... because options are always out there 24/7.

The desire has to be there for the options to even matter. I believe it's a matter of personal honor and a lack of selfishness that prevents infidelity.

View Quoted Comment This!
Both men and women (and no binaries) are capable of cheating.
And if the statement were true, then that statistic would be much higher because everyone has "options" if they look for them.

I'd say that 60% number is way high, unless we are counting people who are separated but still technically married, and just waiting for a divorce. (In Maryland, of example, you have to have been separated for a year even to file for divorce, but few people feel an obligation to stay faithful to spouses who have moved out and are just waiting out the separation period to file for divorce.) This link suggests it's 20% of men and 13% of women, which is a whole lot less than 60%.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

And pretty much 100% of both men and women have options. So I have to assume those 20% and 13% figures mean that most people don't take advantage of the options they have.

And this goes along with other popular statistics, like that 50% of marriages end in divorce. That has never been true.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heart-the-matter/201704/do-half-all-marriages-really-end-in-divorce

Basically, it was extrapolated from divorce figures in the 1970s. But that was when divorce laws got loosened so that it was possible to get divorced, and social mores changed so that people were less likely to stay with an abusive spouse, for example. So you basically had generations of couples who had been unhappy for years but never gotten divorced who all divorced around the same time. And people came up with the 50% figure based on that theory that the divorce rate then would continue indefinitely.

I think this is a very inaccurate statement, and quite frankly insulting. The way I read this is that men will always cheat if there are women in the world. There are always other people out there that are willing to romantically or physically engage with a married person. So since there are always "options" out there, are you expected to keep your spouse locked in the house in order to maintain a faithful marriage? I've been through a divorce where he had been seeing someone else. While ours wasn't a perfect relationship, there wasn't anything he needed or couldn't get at home if that's what he wanted. This statement makes it sound like his cheating was acceptable simply because there was another woman (who was also married) who wanted to have relations with him. How does that make sense? What it boils down to is the commitment within each person. Clearly there is much more to this than simply having options, otherwise why are any of us getting married in the first place? To answer your question, despite everything I have been through with my first marriage, I do believe monogamy is real and exists much more than any news article is ever going to portray. It becomes realistic because we are all here expecting that, and hopefully have all found someone with the same morals and values which would produce a happy, monogamous relationship.

I think that phrase takes the assumption that men are unable to control themselves which is, ultimately, sexist. Saying that the mere existence of a more attractive/willing partner renders their brain and ability to make choices useless. Men are more than their hormones, as are women. As are our NB/gender nonconforming friends. People make choices. People cheat. Monogamy will work for those who choose to work on their relationships or for relationships that last as long as they are healthy. All relationships aren’t meant to last forever. Monogamy isn’t for everyone. Those who are polyamorous aren’t any less capable of commitment either.

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This! Relationships of all kind take work. Infidelity is a choice just as much as staying faithful is a choice.

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I agree with you. I wish the article made explicit "acts of infidelity". What do you think that could include?

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I truly believe that love prevents infidelity so if you cheat on someone then you don't actually love them.

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60% of married couples engaging in acts of infidelity is pretty high. I just wonder what those acts were.

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I agree that all men and women have options, but that doesn't necessarily mean they engage in "acts of infidelity" Did you find anything on the acts of infidelity that they are referring to? Perhaps the number is really high because of what they are factoring in.

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I completely understand your perspective. I also believe monogamy is realistic however I do not think everyone can commit to being monogamous. I think the divorce rate is so high for three reasons:1. non-monogamous individuals are getting married, 2.people aren't really getting to know one another before jumping into a life-long commitment, and 3. people are growing apart instead of together.

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The statement is pretty sexist.

Women have options and cheat too.

Monogamy is a choice that everyone is not willing to commit to.

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" Infidelity is a choice just as much as staying faithful is a choice."

View Quoted Comment People hurt the people they love the most everyday - romantic relationships and otherwise. I don't think love has anything to do with it.

Many people aren't honest about it don't know yet, who they are. There's many types of love, like monogamy and polyamory. Many polyamorous folks go down the monogamous path thinking that is what is expected of them. It is possible to romantically love more than one person.

A selfish person only cares about their own goals, desires, etc. They don't make decisions with other people's feelings or interests in mind. A selfish person who desires other romantic/intimate encounters while engaged in a monogamous relationship will cheat. The person who is not selfish, but acknowledges an issue, will end the monogamous relationship or renegotiate the terms of the relationship they are in and have outgrown.

🤷🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment We'll have to agree to disagree.