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The Bride
Master March 2019

Men Cheat For Ego, Women Cheat For Emo?

The Bride, on July 11, 2019 at 7:57 PM Posted in Married Life 0 10

I recently heard a discussion about why married people cheat after so many years of being together and the consensus was men cheat for ego while women cheat for emo. "Men cheat for ego" insinuates that men cheat to see if they still have what it takes to get a woman. "Women cheat for emo" refers to women cheating because they're lacking an emotional connection with their spouse that they found in someone else.


What are your thoughts? Do you agree that men cheat for ego, women cheat for emo? Why or why not?


Men Cheat For Ego, Women Cheat For Emo? 1


10 Comments

Latest activity by The Bride, on July 12, 2019 at 8:40 AM
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I think cheating is caused by a vareity of factors and at the end of the day if you don't have that deep emotional connection and commitment you'll be at risk for cheating. I think it likely manifests differently (ie emotional or egotistical reasons) depending on what caused the feelings to dwindle or leave.
    I think our culture leaves a lot men feeling insecure about being "enough" and it's why you see the "ego" style cheating, as proof they are enough for someone. I also think the same culture makes women do a lot more emotional labour and don't often get the outlet they need so you'll see the "emotional" styled cheating because it fullfills a space that's empty.
    There's no excuse for cheating, but trying to understand why it happens is certainly an interesting phenomenon.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Very well stated.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    For both sexes, it can just be the Coolidge effect. A new partner is exciting. Most people have more sex at the beginning of a relationship than they do after they have been together for a while.

    Also, you don't see that new partner leaving the socks on the floor, failing to empty the dishwasher, etc., so you can convince yourself they don't have all the flaws your spouse does.

    But really, it is very individual. Some people of both sexes do it for ego. Some for novelty. Some because the relationship is in trouble, and they try to have at least a temporary escape. Some because they want to leave the relationship, but want to line up a new partner so they won't be single when they do. Some because they have a much higher sex drive than their spouse (or the spouse has lost sex drive completely), and they are seeking an outlet. I don't think you can really generalize about either sex.

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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
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    I really don't know. It feels good to have someone find me attractive. It's flattering. Even though I'm female I guess that would be ego? I've NEVER cheated or gotten close to it. I would think someone would have to be at least partially checked out of their relationship to cheat.

    What is considered cheating?
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    Thank you for introducing me to the Coolidge effect, I'd never heard of it.

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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I have another discussion where I ask the same question and the consensus seems to be physical and emotional connections with someone one.

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  • MrsJohansson
    Expert June 2019
    MrsJohansson ·
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    I think people cheat when they choose to get their needs met somewhere else, whether it is physical, emotional, etc. Each couple sets the boundaries for what is cheating and what isn't. There isn't a black or white answer for this topic or for men or women.

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  • Lauren
    Dedicated June 2020
    Lauren ·
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    I think all people are capable of cheating to get that ego boost. At the end of the day, there is something broken inside someone that will step outside their relationship. Poor coping mechanisms, crappy communication and selfishness. Saying that women cheat because they aren’t getting their emotional needs met is blaming the man for his wife’s inability to either communicate her needs or leave the relationship. No one, and I mean no one, deserves to be cheated on. Plenty of people are unhappy and manage to keep their pants on just fine.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    I agree with you. Every couple defines cheating differently.
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  • The Bride
    Master March 2019
    The Bride ·
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    You make a great point that I'd never considered in regards to the "women cheat for ego" thing. Your completely correct, the cheater is always responsible for their cheating, not their partner.
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