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Dedicated September 2021

mil Dress is White…

Melissa, on July 7, 2021 at 11:49 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 7
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I’m really not sure how I’m supposed to feel about this. My MILs dress for the wedding is ivory lace over a blush lining. I would post a pic but won’t for privacy.


My dress is ivory lace with nude lining for the top.
Every friend I’ve showed it to says it looks like a wedding dress. I’m so not looking to ruffle and feathers and feel like saying something will upset her and possibly other family members, and I don’t know if it’s worth it. A part of me thinks I should just let it go and focus on my own look and what really matters about the day. But also don’t want to get resentful if it still bothers me on the day. I probably wouldn’t care as much if my wedding wasn’t a microwedding.
Anyone have any experience with something like this? Or just thoughts on if it’s something worth addressing even if it causes drama?

7 Comments

Latest activity by Addie, on July 7, 2021 at 12:39 PM
  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    Oh dear. Is she generally spacey or self-centered? Do you think she didn’t even realize it? My mom sent my a pic of a potential dress for herself and I replied “lol it looks like a wedding dress” - but that’s also *my* mom and she’s a space cadet. Since I’m assuming you didn’t say anything at the first time seeing it, it would probably be awkward to bring up now. It probably depends on your relationship with her but at the end of the day no one will think she’s the bride and it would only reflect poorly on her. Good luck.
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Oh wow...usually I'm all for letting the mothers wear what they want, but judging by your description, it sounds like it will look VERY similar to your dress. Will everyone know that you're the bride and probably pay her no mind? Most likely, but I also think that if this bothers you, then a conversation can be had. Since it's your FMIL, I'd maybe have your spouse speak with her since she's their mother? Maybe have them approach her in a polite way?

    Did she not run the dress by you or at least show you before she purchased it?? My FMIL and mom both sent me photos of dresses they were interested in before purchasing....I feel like that's just common curtesy and common sense lol.

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  • Addie
    Dedicated April 2022
    Addie ·
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    I would definitely have my fiancé explain that it’s inappropriate for anyone to wear white/ivory to a wedding and especially her because she will be in pictures. I would also make sure he said that it would hurt my feelings because it comes across as disrespectful whether she means to or not. That way it doesn’t seem like he’s attacking her. Whenever an issue arises concerning my future MIL, I explain to my fiancé what needs to be said and then when I’m not around he addresses it and it always goes over better.
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  • M
    Dedicated September 2021
    Melissa ·
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    We’ll she tried calling me when she was at the store purchasing the dress (I didn’t know she was shopping). I was in the middle of moving and felt caught of guard and rushed. I was told the photo did not reflect the true color so I said as long as it’s not too white it was okay. Now that I’ve seen more photos it’s not much better Smiley sad
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    I'd just ask to see it in person then and give her your decision.

    My FMIL said her dress was blush and it looked like it in the photos, but turns out it's a very light pink. Photos don't do justice for colors, so I think seeing it person and having her there to speak to would be helpful. Would she be able to return it still?

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  • M
    Dedicated September 2021
    Melissa ·
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    Yes, I’m starting to think this is the way to go. Thanks for the advice!
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  • Addie
    Dedicated April 2022
    Addie ·
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    I would go see the dress in person and then just be completely honest with her once you see the dress. Y’all obviously have a good enough relationship to where she called you at the store so I think no matter what you decide she will understand
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