mil Issues

“Sorry, the guest list is full and we won’t be issuing any more invitations.” Repeat as many times as necessary.

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I agree as well. TG my MIL doesn't over step.

If FMIL is paying for all or part of the wedding, you may have to negotiate further. Talk with your partner so they can speak with her first. When that settles, here are some replies FMIL can say to her inquiring friends why they're not on the list: "the kids are paying for the wedding and they're keeping it small"; "they want both sides to match in numbers"; "covid safety"; "venue capacity"; "couple is saving for xyz", etc. Ps. If all else fails, tell FMIL anyone who gets an invite after they all went out last month will feel offended as 2nd tier friends. Best wishes!

View Quoted Comment We, The bride and groom, are paying for our wedding by working at our jobs every day. This out our wedding. She has 2 sons, both have been married at least once already. This is my fiancé’s 3rd marriage. She needs to back off. She took the rehearsal dinner as her own and I let her so she’d have something to do but she’s still trying to add guests to my fiancé doesn’t even care for to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Haha Love it! 🥰

If y’all are paying, she has no place to tell you you have too add people to the list that y’all don’t want there! My parents and FH’s parents are contributing, so we ended up with a guest list of 250 (I wanted a wedding of 100-120), and FH and I just had to roll with it, but if I was in your position, I would definitely keep the guest list where you want it! Alternatively, you could add up the cost of the extra guests (food, alcohol, stationery, rentals, etc.) and give her the option to pay for them herself!

View Quoted Comment We ARE paying which is why I’m like Wth? She has offered to pay for plates, but (1) it’s NOT her wedding, (2) bother her kids (sons) have been married before so again WTH. This isn’t the first time she’s been to a wedding for her children. (3) We don’t want a ton of ppl there (4) he’s not fond of his family and only invited whom he felt he should invite out of principle. Now I understand why he didn’t want to have an actual wedding 😒 but I’ve never had one so I pushed forward. I let her take the rehearsal dinner so she’d have her piece but she’s still doing this.

View Quoted Comment Luckily lol 🥰

View Quoted Comment If size is important to y’all, then there you go! No more invites, that’s the end of the line. Communicate the boundary firmly but respectfully (would likely be better coming from your FH - “blood confronts blood” and all). At the end of the day, if she pushes forward and mentions y’all’s wedding to her friends that she wants on the list and y’all don’t send them invites, she’s the one that has to deal with the social repercussions, not y’all! I hope you have the beautiful and intimate wedding that y’all want - especially since you’re working so hard to pay for it!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!
Even my mom was like Wth when I told her about the 1st time she asked to add ppp

I love my in-laws and don’t have this issue but you can say things like We already have a full guest list

Yes but it's not my MIL ITS my mom she tells me about other family or ppl I dont know. I told her no mom i dont know them nor want these ppl at my wedding it's more money and they are free loaders. I have to tell my FH that too our wedding is going to be small 50-55 ppl. Because it's coming out of our pocket no is well but adding to our tab. Yiu make the finally decision not the MIL

View Quoted Comment 😲 Dang. I’m being firm with her. I’m just venting bc her last txt was like “Ik I’m not supposed to bother you about this buuuut..” then she said it was her “best friend “ & when I told my fiancé he was like she just met that lady last year! 😡 She also txt my friend/wedding planner about it and told her TWO ppl but told me only one. I’m so stressed and over this May wedding and can’t wait for it to be over.

View Quoted Comment I like them too but dang. This is not her wedding or money 😒 Both her sons have been married before and had at least 1 wedding so not her first rodeo.

View Quoted Comment 🥰🥰 That’s a good one. TY

View Quoted Comment Altman calm down just pray on it no one should be calling your wedding planner the nerve of them. Talk to your FH and voice your concerns with him and everything will be ok

At the end of the day, everyone can’t come to the wedding. Just say what I say, right now our guest list is full but as we receive “No’s” or don’t hear back, we will be transition those on the stand by list to the wedding list.

View Quoted Comment I’ve told her that as ppl decline other ppl can be added but at this point & since we’re paying I’m not adding anyone else. I’m over it.

View Quoted Comment He says I should have listened to him - not have a wedding bc he knows how his mom is. We should have eloped or had a getaway instead of a wedding. His words. Now I see why and regret not listening to him lol I will most definitely be listening to him about his family in the future. This is crazy.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow Altman mine said the same thing that he wanted to just elope in the beginning at first I was going just canceled it and eloped. But since I signed a contract if we canceled it still would have cost me $3,000 so once untold him that he said well me mine as well us it. And this was our first marriage and I wanted it nice plus his mom would have a fit and probably thought it was me. He is a mama's boy she wouldn't be giving me eye stabbing looks lol lol. So he thought about it because he is the baby out of her children. So we are full steam ahead stand tall and firm my friend lol